Hot Mess
by Pbroken
Summary: Bella & Edward are firefighters who hate each other & when Chief Swan decides to retire early,they both set out to win over the crew & gain his position,but when they fight fire with fire,the heat will change everything.AU/AH Mean Dirty Edward&Tough Bella
1. Fire in the Rain

**HALLELUJAH! I've been trying to post this chapter since yesterday and fan fiction kept giving me an error. I finally found a bypass moments ago to get it posted and I am SO HAPPY! YAY!**

**Here we are, everyone, the first chapter of my brand new story. This one is dedicated to all the men and women who put their lives on the line to protect us everyday (fire, ambulance, police, military, etc.). I wouldn't have a story to write, a safe place to write it, or the freedom to write at all if not for these brave people. A big thanks to Vtweetymccn and the whole fire and ambulance crew that she works with, for filling my inbox with information, giving me ideas, and all-in-all just being awesome. I can't thank you guys enough! =D Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but Dirty Edward lights my fire. =) Enjoy and please review!**

**Chapter 1**

**Fire in the Rain**

"I've seen fire and I've seen rain, I've seen sunny days I thought would never end, I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought I'd see you again."~ James Taylor

**BPOV**

"Raindrops keep fallin' on my head, but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red, cryin's not for me, 'cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin' because I'm free, nothin's worryin' me," I sing along to the radio as I drive the long stretch of highway 101 to Forks, WA.

I was flipping through the stations a minute ago when I heard the familiar sound of my dad's favorite oldies tune, and I just left it on, feeling a sense of nostalgia and comfort. Now, as I sing in time with the smooth voice of B.J. Thomas, I realize how weirdly perfect the words are for me. I watch the rain pound steadily against my 2010 Chevy, extended cab, Silverado. Looking out my windshield, I can see it roll off the shiny, red paint, and for the first time in a long time, it doesn't upset me or annoy me. Actually, I'm so happy to see the rain that I'm content to let it fall without a care in the world as to when it might stop. That's beyond strange in my case.

I used to hate the wet weather that constantly bombards the town I grew up in. In fact, as a teen, when the drops started to fall, I would almost reach the point of tears. Of course, I would never cry, I'm not the crying type. Regardless, I felt trapped in Forks, locked in a fishbowl where the rain rarely let up, and I lived under the watchful eyes of 3,146 people who I knew by face, if not name. So why is it that I can't stop smiling as I pull along the U-Haul trailer with all my belongings in it and make my way back to that same town that depressed me so much? It's because I'm coming home, re-entering the fish bowl, after facing the big bad world on my own, and it feels more as if I'm crossing the threshold into a sanctuary rather than a prison.

Living in Arizona for the past four years has been the most terrible time of my life, but I learned things, including the value of home. I missed my parents, my best friend, Jacob Black, his pack of stupid friends, and oddly enough, the rain I used to hate with a passion. Fire fighting was hard in Phoenix, it was long days and longer nights in the desert heat, fighting raging wild fires on little sleep, and going home to a one bedroom apartment without a soul around to keep me company made things even worse. I didn't realize it would be so difficult, moving to a place where I didn't know anyone, far away from home. I thought that I would make friends fast and be happier than ever, thousands of miles from the never-ending gossip and stalking eyes of my neighbors. Of course, that's not what happened. I discovered what it was like to be alone and I stayed that way as days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months finally turned to years.

That's not to say I didn't know people, I knew lots of people at the fire station, but we weren't super close. The reason is that Phoenix is the firefighting capitol of the country. No, really, it is. Most people when asked, 'What city has the nation's top firefighters?' would answer with New York, but the truth is its Phoenix. Stations from all around the US send their chiefs for training in Phoenix and most of the time, trainers are sent out from there to teach as well. Therefore, there are constantly fresh faces being introduced, people joining the crew and leaving the crew. That made things rough for me. From the moment I arrived, I was simply another firefighter to my station, nothing interesting or out of the ordinary. I became friends with people eventually, but when my dad nonchalantly mentioned an open position at the station back home two weeks ago, I jumped on it. I had very little problem with saying goodbye to those "friends" and I doubt they'll miss me.

I pass a green sign with white letters that claims I'm only miles away from family and friends, and a surge of joy floods through me. I roll down my window, breathing in the smell of damp foliage as I stretch out my bare arm and let the water smack against my ivory-toned skin. Even after years of being in the sun, I'm still white as white can be, seeming to have been unable to tan or burn. I shiver a little at the cool air of a March afternoon. I'm wearing one of my white tank tops from Arizona since I've been driving non-stop; the shirt has the fire logo from my old station on it. The digital read out thermometer says its 62 degrees out. I knew it would be cold, but the chill feels good. The rain drips into the cab, hitting my blue jeans and top, revealing my black bra and turning the denim a darker shade of blue. I laugh, one of those really just happy laughs. I'm coming home, back to Sunday night dinners and fishing with my dad, to motorcycle riding with Jacob and cliff diving in La Push. I feel good, I feel free. My calm mood changes in an instant when I see a black sedan riding my ass in my rearview mirror.

It all happens in slow motion, the vehicle speeds around me, sliding on the wet asphalt. The driver tries to counter the movement by twisting the wheel in the opposite direction, but it only makes matters worse. I stare on helpless as the car barrels across the double yellow line, careening into a ditch on the other side of the road, before coming to a stop on its left side with the roof jammed against a tree. The position of the wreckage leaves the driver pinned in place. Adrenaline kicks in along with instinct as I pull onto the shoulder and dial 9-1-1.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"

"I'm about 5 miles South of Forks on Highway 101 and I have a black four door sedan that has been involved in an MVA. The cars flipped and the driver's pinned so you're going to want to send fire and ambulance pronto."

"Fire and ambulance are on their way, hang tight."

I hang up my cell phone and exhale loudly. There is no way I'm just going to sit here and wait. Fuck that…Throwing the door open, I rush out into the heavy rain, across the highway, and down into the ditch with expert speed. By the time I get to the car, I'm thoroughly drenched, my long brown hair now an almost black color is sticking to my face and neck. I try to peer into the back window, but the tint's too dark. All I can see is my own reflection- wide brown eyes set in determination, pursed lips, and water rolling steadily off my arms. I look like I've been swimming in my clothes. Shit…I pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Damn it," I hiss at the blank screen. Captured underneath the glass are droplets of water.

Great, I already know it's useless, but I press on a few buttons to be sure. It doesn't make a sound.

I can't believe I forgot to leave it in the truck. I groan, irritated at my idiocy. It's going to be a pain to get a new phone. I'll have to drive all the way out to Port Angeles. Then again, it's not as if anyone ever calls me besides Jake and my parents so I suppose it's not all that critical. Climbing onto the vehicle, I balance precariously on the trunk in my black boots. The last thing I need is to slip and fall. With my luck, I'd break a leg or something. Suddenly, I hear a sound I really don't enjoy hearing, a baby's cries. I try to open the rear passenger side door, but it won't budge, it's jammed up some how. I have no other option. Kneeling on the rear fender, I take my cell phone in my hand and smash my fist through the back passenger window. The glass comes apart, shattering as the baby's cries turn to screams.

"I know, I know, sorry, baby," I apologize to the infant, climbing into the car through the broken window to assess the damage. I'm happy to see the glass hasn't affected her at all, she appears healthy as ever, and her screams that are deafening in the enclosed space indicate that she's perfectly fine.

Taking a peek in the front, I notice that the driver is pinned by the steering wheel with his head lulled to the side and blood dripping from a gash on his forehead. He's familiar, a few years older than the last time I saw him obviously, but with the same geeky, black-rimmed glasses from high school. It's Eric Yorkie. I press my hand to his jugular and I can feel a pulse. He's still alive, just unconscious. I take in the sight of the baby girl in the back seat with me; she can't be more than a year. She has her father's Asian features and his black hair. I didn't even know Eric had a wife…hm, maybe he doesn't. I wonder who the baby momma is. I shake my head to clear it. This isn't an episode of Maury, focus!

"Hey, little one. I'm going to get you out of here," I fuss over the screaming baby as I work to get her free from the car seat, pressing on the red button for the buckle. Nothing happens.

These damn things are relatively easy to un-strap normally, at weird angles though, the task is not as simple. Then again, no one intends to unbuckle a child while trying to keep his or her balance in a car that's tilted in some funky, carnival fun house position; it's not the initial concern when manufacturing these products. The guy in charge isn't going to say, 'Hey, let's not worry about keeping the kid in the seat. Instead, we'll make the straps spring open on command. That's our new number one priority.' I snort at my dumb thought. Leave it to me to think of something so stupid and find it amusing. The car seat did its job; it held her in place when the car went topsy-turvy. Now, it's my job to figure out how the hell to get her out. I crane my neck sideways as I fiddle with the red button, pressing down on it again, harder this time, and the buckle splits in three. Oh, thank heaven…for seven eleven…wow, not the right time for jingles, Bella. I look down at my arms and notice they're covered in goose bumps, but I'm not even cold. Adrenaline is a wondrous thing. Thankfully, the baby is dressed better for the weather than I am, in a tiny purple raincoat and little boots so her face is the only thing flushed pink with chill. I pull the hood of the raincoat over her head to shelter her from the rain that's coming through the broken window.

"Almost done, sweetheart," I murmur.

Biting my lip in concentration, I slip her right arm free as voices begin to echo into the car.

"Tyler, Mike, your on traffic duty. Alice, I'll need you to climb in and give me a run down of the scene. Rose, Edward, you go with her so you can grab whatever she needs and Emmett, you get the jaws, we may need them. Where's Jasper?" The authoritative and stern tone is undeniable. My dad's in Chief mode.

"Here, Chief!" A male voice with a southern drawl responds.

"Did you survey the area?" Dad asks.

"What the-, the window's already busted, Charlie!" A tinkering voice from my past yells as I free the child's left arm from the restraints.

Carefully, I lift her out of the seat, cradling her into my body, and she stops screaming, seeming to be soothed by the contact. Whoever says silence isn't golden hasn't ever been trapped in the confines of a small car with a screaming baby. I feel like I just won a million dollars.

"Yes, Sir, there's a red truck with a U-Haul trailer parked a little farther south on the shoulder, but no one inside it," says the same southern boy from before, answering my dad's question.

I hear Dad let out an abrupt laugh while I contrive a plan to move myself so I can stand on the center console and poke my head out the broken window. Once I'm situated, I find three people standing in my view, two of which I've known since I was 12, and one I have never seen before in my life. They're all wearing their bunker gear- black work boots and yellow trousers with red overall straps hidden under yellow jackets. Alice and Edward both have an expression of irritation in their bright green eyes and despite Alice's small frame in comparison to Edward's more toned and tall physique, they act the part of twins, with arms crossed in matching stances, rain dripping down their faces in freaky unison.

Their mannerisms are identical, but their features, other than their eyes, are crazy different. Edward has a more manly appearance with a rugged chin, a sharp jaw line, and this strange, messy, bronze-colored hair while Alice has a feminine, heart-shaped face and short, black hair. In high school, she would spike it up so that it stuck up every which way. I'm not sure if she still does that because right now it's just as wet as mine is, laying flat against her face. Seems their attitude with me hasn't changed a bit though, judging by their cold stares. I grin devilishly at them, putting on my poker face, when what I really want to do is tell them to fuck off. Now that I'm going to be working with them, we're all just going to have to learn to get along the best we can.

"Who the hell are you?" A bitchy voice snaps at me, the stranger. Weird...she has the same southern accent as that guy, Jasper, I heard a minute ago.

My eyes lock on her face. Wow, she's gorgeous. She has the features of a pageant winner- perfectly angled eyebrows, straight nose with a slight swoop, pouty and plump red lips. I wonder if Edward's fucked her yet. Probably…poor girl. I hold in the urge to laugh and manage, barely. Her ice blue eyes are narrowed in my direction and a few strands of golden blonde hair poke out from underneath the hood of her jacket. She definitely appears to be his type. Hoods are something only new comers and high maintenance girls wear in the Olympic Peninsula. Most people here are used to getting wet. Her gear clings to her body in a way that I can tell she has one of those figures that most girls would sell their soul to the devil for, another one of Edward's favorite qualities. I wonder why she's doing this for a living, instead of modeling or something.

I open my mouth to tell her my name, but I don't get the opportunity because Dad comes running into the ditch. His face beams with pride and beneath the appalling mustache that he still hasn't shaved, his lips are clearly pulled up in a grin. I can't believe he hasn't gotten rid of that thing yet. The hair atop his lip and on his head has some gray color instead of being all black like it used to be. I always figured that once he started to gray, Dad would finally come to his senses and shave off the 70s 'stache. Guess not. I'm glad…I may make fun of him for it, but thinking of my dad without that distinguishable trait is a bizarre thought.

"That, my dear Rose, is my baby girl!" He hollers with delight and my smile turns completely honest. "What do we got, Bells?"

"I have a baby in the back seat and her father, Eric Yorkie, trapped in the driver's seat. He's out cold. I already have the baby free, but I need a knife and hook to get Eric out. He's wedged into the steering wheel. Also I'm going to need a KED, C-collar, and blocks from the EMS to stabilize him."

"You got it! Rose, get the baby. Edward, Alice, get to it! That stuff isn't going to grab itself!" He shouts out orders then rushes off to supervise elsewhere. He's a busy man and besides, we'll have plenty of time to talk later.

The Cullen twins leave reluctantly, giving me one last glare as the stranger, Rose, strides forward. I hand her the baby and her face softens immediately when the child is placed into her arms.

"Hey, Maya, aw, you're getting so big," she coos and the infant giggles. "Let's go get you somewhere dry."

I consider that maybe I've misjudged her as I watch her disappear with the kid. It wouldn't be the first time. Hell, the Cullen twins seemed great when I first met them and I know how that turned out.

Alice is back in moments with the knife and hook.

"Bella," she says my name in a flat tone, nodding in greeting as she hands them to me.

"Alice," I respond in the same way, ducking back into the car while I roll my eyes. I can see that working with her is going to be a blast…not.

While I'm slicing the seat belt and pulling the wheel free, I hear the Jaws of Life cutting open the back passenger door. I'm not sure who's operating them; I'm too busy thinking about Eric's condition, he's still unconscious, but his heart rate is solid. Once the cuts are made and the passenger seat is tilted flat, Edward shows up with the EMS gear. He hands it all to me with even less enthusiasm than Alice, and I work fast to stabilize Eric, leaning him forward carefully to place the KED under his back and neck. I strap him down to it with the c-collar around his neck and the blocks against his face to keep his neck from moving, my teeth chattering loudly the whole time. Now that my adrenaline has mostly worn off, I'm freezing.

"Alright, he's ready to be taken out," I holler and Edward reaches through the opening, grabbing the hand holes in the KED by Eric's neck, water dripping steadily from his tousled hair and clothes, splashing into my face. He smirks when it gets in my eye and I force myself to contain a growl.

Holding Eric's hips and legs straight, I climb my way out of the car. The moment he's free EMS technicians take over, carrying him out of the ditch and onto a cot before speeding away with their lights and sirens blaring. My body trembles and my lips quiver from the cold. Edward notices and he just shrugs his shoulders.

"You're not in Arizona anymore, Bella," he declares, gesturing to my see-through, white tank. "So you should probably wear some real clothes next time you decide to play hero or you could go back south. I'm partial to the latter option myself."

I flip him the bird as he turns and strolls away. If I thought that working with Alice is going to be tough, working with Edward is going to be hell…Why does he have to be such an asshole? In fact, why do they hate me anyway? I never did shit to either of them. Seriously, it's as if they decided a week after moving here to despise me when I had been nothing but nice and friendly. What is up with that? My body shudders, alerting me back to the fact that I'm freezing. Whatever, I don't have time to ponder that crap. I need some warm clothes. I wish I had my bunker gear on. I didn't even think to grab it out of the back seat of the cab.

I rub my hands over my arms as I trudge out of the ditch and onto the shoulder of the highway. Everyone is packing up or already done packing and ready to leave. Mike Newton, a baby-faced ultra-white boy with blonde hair and pale blue eyes, is directing traffic with Tyler Crowley, who is his complete opposite with dark skin, black hair, and brown eyes. I've known them both my whole life. Tyler used to give me cookies in kindergarten and Mike even asked me to the prom.

When Mike notices me, he gives a wave, looking far too excited to see me in my see-through tank...awkward. I attract my attention elsewhere, avoiding his gawking stare while taking in the rest of the crew. Rose is sitting in the fire truck with Maya wrapped up in multiple blankets in her lap, Dad is talking to the tow truck company that's here to get the car, and Alice is chatting with some hippie-looking guy in bunker gear with chin-length, wavy, blonde hair. His eyes dart over in my direction, the same ice blue as the beauty queen. Alice has a small freak out when she notices I'm looking right at them and she turns his head back to her, worry obvious on her face. Yeah, because I have no clue who you're talking about, pixie...I snort aloud at her attempt to have a covert conversation, it's pointless, especially when whispering is not hippie-boy's specialty. I can hear most of what he says from here.

"Relax, Ali. It's…big deal. She's bound to…eventually."

I can hear the slight twang in the guy's voice. He must be that Jasper person I was hearing earlier. Alice's face softens in comfort at his babying. That's right, pixie, listen to the hippie before you have a freaking heart attack. That girl has more energy than the energizer bunny. One of these days, she's going to blow a fuse, I swear.

"Cold?" A thundering voice calls out from behind me and my heart jumps as I spin around, coming face to face with a huge, burly man, holding a jacket out for me.

Dad told me that they had gotten three transfers last year, but he didn't tell me that one was a borderline giant. The man in front of me is so tall and muscular that he kind of reminds me of Fezzik, the giant from 'The Princess Bride', except a far more attractive version with his child-like face, short and curly dark hair, and hazel eyes.

"Emmett, are you going to load this or what?" Edward screams, gesturing to the Jaws of Life. I have a sudden urge to quote 'The Princess Bride'. Me, being me, well, I can't help myself.

"That Vizzini, he can fuss," I say, pointing to Edward.

The giant, Emmett, looks at me, his eyes wide, and I'm sure he's about to ask me if I'm crazy or something. Instead, he helps me into the jacket while he replies with a laugh.

"Fuss, fuss... I think he likes to scream at us,"

Oh, hell yeah! He knows the line! I haven't had a quote off in years- not since the last time I hung out with Jake. I wonder if he knows the whole thing.

"Probably he means no harm," I say with a shrug of my shoulders and a smile.

"He's really very short on charm," Emmett quotes the movie easily and I giggle, feeling giddy with joy.

"You have a great gift for rhyme."

"Yes, yes, some of the time," he agrees, nodding his head.

"Enough of that!" Edward shouts at us in annoyance and I nearly fall over in a fit of laughter. I don't know if he knows that he just said the next line perfectly, but any excuse to annoy Edward is good by me.

"Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?" I ask Emmett, scrunching my face in a fake confused expression.

"If there are…we all be dead," he chuckles and we both watch as Edward's face grows redder by the second. He's angry now. He's always been so damn hotheaded.

"No more rhymes now, I mean it," Edward snarls.

"Anybody want a peanut?" Emmett booms.

Edward throws up his hands in defeat, letting out a growl of rage as I laugh. Yeah, the whole getting along thing is working out splendidly so far...

Dad emerges at my side, shaking his head in disapproval as Emmett gives me a nod and rushes off to put the equipment away.

"Bells, why can't you be the bigger person? You know how close your mother and I are to the Cullens," he chastises me, sounding more disappointed than angry. "Can you at least try not to push his buttons?"

"I don't know. Can he try not to be a douche?" I counter and Dad rolls his eyes, his favorite gesture. Like Father, like daughter.

His arms open wide and without hesitation, I curl into them, feeling his fatherly comfort, which I have gone much too long without. The Cullen twins have had four years of my parents company without me around and they'll just have to get used to me being here again. I know that our families are close; we're close with the Blacks too. That doesn't mean I have to like them. The Blacks don't like the Cullens.

"You're soaked to the bone, kid. Your mother's going to pitch a fit when you show up at the house like this," he murmurs into my hair, kissing my forehead.

I shrug my shoulders. To be quite honest, I could care less right now. Nothing is going to ruin my return- not the rain or the Cullen twins or the over-protective lecture I'll receive from Mom upon arriving soaked at my parent's house, where I'll be staying until my house is ready for move in next week. I'm back with the people who love me and for the time being, that's enough to plaster a smile on my face and warmth in my heart, the fiery tension or the pouring rain that surrounds me be damned.

**So, there you have it. I'm going to do my best to get the chapters for 'Hot Mess' out every Wednesday, but I may have some off-weeks because I'm going to be moving in about a month and I'll have moving and unpacking drama to deal with. Inspiration for this chapter came from a specific suggestion by one of the fire crew (THANKS JAMIE!), and also the song 'Weird to be Back' by firewater. Oh, and ****some really strange things happened after I started writing this chapter. I had already finished the first half of the chapter, when I got into a car accident (I was rear-ended. My car came out with only a few scratches and no one was hurt.) and I dropped my home phone in the bath tub, completely destroying it. I think it's finally started to happen...I'm writing my future, people. Lol Anyways!**** I don't own 'The Princess Bride' sadly, but 'My name is inigo montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.' If you want to avoid death at my hands, I'm nice enough that I will take a review in lieu of your life. =D**


	2. The Lighting of the Fire

**I know, there's probably a few choice words you'd like to use to tell me how irritated you all are that this is two days late, but I told you guys, I may be late some weeks because of house stuff. This week was one of those weeks. My husband and I found a new place so I had to call electric, cable, and water companies to get information on fees for turning on and off service, make a trip to the bank to get a cashier's check, provide my husband with estimates for different moving companies, take the check for the deposit down to the realty company, cook, grocery shop, and write while dealing with writer's block...yeah, not to mention I've hit a whole new level for stress and was spacing out so much that I hit a curb and popped two tires...yay, go me¡ Oh, that reminds me about something that I actually need to tell you about.**

**This story is going to have a lot of moments of sarcasm so I did some research on the internet and found a symbol that's used in some parts of the world to notate sentences as sarcastic. That symbol is an upside-down question mark so anytime you see this (¡) at the end of a sentence, the phrase is meant to be sarcastic.**

**Well, I'm sure you're sick of reading this so I'll let you get onto the chapter. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but real life is tough, I think I need a helmet or at least Dirty Edward. =D Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 2**

**The Lighting of the Fire**

"It takes two flints to make a fire."~ Louisa May Alcott

**EPOV**

Jessica Stanley's artificially tanned arm wraps around me and I have the urge to kick her. How many times have I told her I don't cuddle? At least a dozen or two. This shit is ridiculous. I've been fucking the dumb brood for years, but she still has these moments where she thinks I'm going to fall in love with her or some shit. Obviously, since that has yet to happen, it would be clear to anyone else that it's never going to, but to her, in her brain-dead head, it's simply an invitation to try harder. I knew that I should have called another girl tonight. Anyone else would have been a smarter choice. I was feeling a bit lazy though, and Jessica is always so easy. With the other girls, I have to work to get them in bed. Granted, all it takes is a little bit of sweet talk and their naked within the hour, but Jessica wasn't even here for more than five minutes before she took off her clothes.

She looks up at me with a content gaze, her dark blue eyes softened in relaxation, her ashy brown, fake permed hair falling in front of her face in disarray. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing for her, not love, or even like. I simply don't care. Well, all right, I do feel one thing actually, an intense desperation to get her the fuck out of my bed so that I don't have to look at her anymore.

"You should go, I'm on call," I say, releasing an exasperated groan.

I slip free of her hold and make my way to the bathroom to toss out the condom. Gross. It's not the highlight of my evening, that's for sure. I'm not sure there even was a highlight to the evening, or day, for that matter. My morning fishing trip with Charlie was ruined when he asked Bella to tag along, and dinner at Esme and Carlisle 's house was an epic fail. Big surprise there**¡** Even fucking Jessica wasn't very gratifying. She squeaks like a mouse, and that shit is not attractive.

"But you like never get called in and I brought some clothes to sleep in this time. I know you don't like it when I wear your stuff," she states, scrambling for an excuse to stay, in that voice that's too high pitched and nasally. "I could make you something to eat while you shower, like some pasta or whatever and in the morning, I can make you pancakes."

I cringe visibly at the sound of her; it's almost as bad as nails on a chalkboard. The only thing that mouth is good for is blowjobs and they're mediocre at best. It's not only her voice that makes me cringe either, she can rarely make it through a sentence without saying the word like, and her pancakes…yeah, they taste like ass.

"No, I had dinner already, and I can make my own breakfast. I just want to take a shower and then go to sleep, Jessica. _Alone_." I emphasize the last word heavily, shutting the bathroom door and locking it.

If I cared an ounce about her, it would probably bother me that I can hear her sniffling as she walks about the room and picks up her clothes. It doesn't though. Whatever, I'm not a bad person, out to hurt her feelings on purpose. It's not as if I've lied to her and told her that I love her or anything. She's known since the beginning that all I want out of her is a fuck. She just refuses to believe it, and that's not my fault.

To drown out the noise, I turn the shower on and let the water run warm as I gaze into the mirror. I look as tired as I feel. The deep purple bags under my eyes and sunken expression on my face say it all. These last few days have been shitty and exhausting. Once I hear the front door close, I open the bathroom door so that if my beeper goes off on my nightstand, I'll hear it. I doubt it will, living in a small town has its perks. Still, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Stepping into the shower, I stand under the heavy spray. The heat feels incredible on my body, soothing and mind numbing. This is what I was looking for when I called Jessica tonight, a bit of peace. All I wanted was a few moments where I could think about something other than work or Bella Swan.

Ugh…and that lasted a whole two minutes. Reaching up, I rub my face with both hands, feeling the hot water slip between my fingers. Bella always finds a way to get under my skin and into my brain. I can feel my anger building at just the thought of her. She's only been back for two days and she's already irritating the hell out of me. That girl manages to get on my last fucking nerve. From the moment we met, it's been like that. It's not that I didn't try to like her, Alice and I both tried our best, it just proved to be a wasted effort. Although, I think Alice's dislike for Bella mostly stems from the fact that I don't like Bella, a sort of twin loyalty thing. In fact, she might have gotten along with Bella if I hadn't been around to interfere when we all met…on second thought, maybe not, not with Jacob around anyway. With that dickweed there that day, none of us ever stood a chance at being friends. Keeping my eyes closed, I lift my head and run my fingers through my hair, recalling that day ten years ago.

_I frowned as I drifted awake and noticed that it was cloudier then ever out. I supposed that it could have been worse, it could have been raining. With my head against the window, I could feel the chill in the air. It seemed cold for September. Then again, back home it was probably as cold, if not colder. I sunk into my seat in the back of my aunt and uncle's car with a sigh, reminding myself that home was no longer in Chicago, as of today, it was Forks, WA. My gangly, pre-adolescent body shifted on the vinyl as we drove around another curve and I groaned in annoyance, going over in my mind why I agreed to this for the billionth time. My aunt loved Forks and she and my uncle had stayed in Chicago for four years, despite the fact that they had hated it there. Carlisle had constantly complained about the horrible hours he had to work at the hospital in the city and Esme had been lonely, missing her family and friends, especially her best friend, Renee, who she hadn't seen since moving to Chicago._

_Originally, the two of them had come out from Seattle to take care of my parents' things when they died. Alice and I had been eight at the time, and when they realized how against moving we were they settled in Chicago to keep us from having to suffer any more than we already had. It was a big sacrifice for them, one that I failed to appreciate as often as I should have. That's why when the windy city had finally become too much for them, Alice and I had reluctantly agreed to move to Esme's hometown, our parents' hometown. Carlisle of course didn't need much incentive to agree. He liked the thought of working for a small town hospital and if it made Esme happy, it made Carlisle happy._

_No matter how many times I went over the reason for the move in my head, it didn't change my opinion of the place. Living in Forks was going to be as entertaining as watching paint dry. As we inched through town, I looked out at the small shops with bewilderment, wondering who in their right mind would enjoy growing up here. It was weird to think that my parents made it out of here with their sanity intact. Why my parents or aunt would have missed it, why anyone would miss it was beyond me. With the way they all had talked about Forks, it was the greatest town in the world. If it was so great, then why did it look so boring?_

_During the drive down Main Street, my bewilderment turned to shock. There was nothing taller than three stories, and there wasn't a movie theater, let alone a concert hall. There wasn't even a Chicago-style pizza place. How would I survive without deep-dish pie? It was all so plain, so ordinary, so dreary...at least it was until I saw the firehouse._

_The old-fashioned, two-story, brick building caught my attention with its monstrous roll-up door that was made mostly of glass. It allowed me to get a peek into the station and actually see the fire truck inside. That was something I'd never seen before, not even in the windy city. _

_Immediately, I was drawn to the place. It could have been partially because my father's career started there, but the building also had an energy about it, this radiating feeling of home. I knew my sister had felt it too because she had grabbed my hand and squeezed it the way she used to do when we were small. _

_We would communicate like that sometimes, without actually saying anything; we could read each other with only a look, a nod, or a squeeze of the hand. I always figured it was a twin thing, but there had been times we'd hung out with other twins who couldn't communicate that way so maybe it was an Alice and me thing. _

_The second the station was out of sight, the feeling of belonging faded and my lips pursed again in disappointment. The fact that it only took six minutes to travel through the whole town only made matters worse. In Chicago, you could travel maybe five blocks in that amount of time. I crossed my arms over my chest, moping at the injustice of it all as I looked out at the vast forest of green outside my window. The drive through the woods to the actual house felt like it took ages, but that might have been because I hadn't stretched my legs since 8 o'clock, and that was 3 hours and more than 200 miles ago._

"_There's the turn off, honey," Esme said, pointing enthusiastically to a driveway on the side of the road, hidden behind some trees and overgrown bushes._

"_Holy cow, how did you even see that?" Carlisle exclaimed, the clicking of the turn signal echoing through the car._

"_Many, many years of driving by this place," she replied with a beaming smile, turning to look at Alice and me in the back seat. Her bronze hair, the same color as mine and as my mother's used to be, bounced with the movement. "You're going to love this house. Your mom and I used to fantasize about buying it when we were little girls."_

_Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Alice try to smile. I followed suit, but our fake grins did nothing to appease Esme. Her eyebrows furrowed in something akin to disappointment on her heart shaped face and her hazel eyes shined softly with unshed tears. _

"_This isn't the end of the world, kids. You'll like it, I promise. The people you meet here, the town, it grows on you."_

_I tried to hold my tongue, but being a twelve-year-old boy, I couldn't help it._

"_Well, gross fungus can grow on me too, it doesn't mean I like it," I mumbled under my breath as the car bounced down the long, gravel driveway. _

_Esme sighed in defeat and turned back around as Alice glared at me. I felt a small pang of guilt, but it was quickly extinguished when we emerged in a clearing and I locked eyes on the most hideous house I had ever seen. The white, three-story home reminded me of a plantation house that I'd seen pictures of in history class. It had a few large pillars in front, porches on the sides with railings, and a ton of windows with green shutters. _

_Okay, so it wasn't exactly a hideous house, it was however, a complete dump. The white paint was chipped and peeling, the shutters were broken and most of them were hanging half off, the porches were in shambles, all the windows were smashed and boarded up, and there was graffiti over the front door, something that looked like a wolf...what the hell?_

_Esme didn't look surprised. In fact, she didn't seem to care at all. She was practically vibrating in her seat and she refused to wait for the car to come to a complete stop before she jumped out and ran, full sprint, towards the right side porch. I thought my aunt had finally lost her marbles, until I saw a figure step into view. Esme collided with a skinny woman with wavy, dark brown hair, laughing exuberantly, and Carlisle chuckled as he turned the key in the ignition and pulled it out. That was when I noticed that our car wasn't the only one parked in front of the detached, two-car garage and the brown haired woman wasn't alone, she had kids with her._

_They appeared to be our age, but not related. One of them was a pale girl with dark brown hair like the older woman and the other was a tan boy with long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. They were pushing each other jokingly, but the expressions on their faces told me they weren't really joking, they were arguing._

"_Looks like she brought Bella and Jacob," Carlisle stated, mostly to himself. He shifted to look at us while running a hand through his blonde hair, and his blue eyes stared into ours with a stern gaze that he'd perfected over the years. He used this look, the don't-roll-your-eyes-when-I-say-what-I'm-about-to-say gaze, as Alice and I so rightfully named it, whenever he was about to give advice that he knew we wouldn't like. "Renee is going to be helping Esme fix up the house on the weekends and she will probably be bringing Bella and Jacob with her. You'll also be starting school with Bella on Monday, Jacob goes to school on the reservation, but Esme is very close to Renee and her husband, who are good friends with the Blacks. Anyway, my point is, you'll be seeing one or both of these kids a lot, and it would be a really good idea to try to be friends with them so just step outside of your comfort zones please. This is a great opportunity for you to have friends other than each other."_

_I managed not to roll my eyes, but seriously, he was asking the impossible. No pressure or anything**¡** Carlisle knew we had a hard time making friends. Most other kids didn't feel comfortable hanging out with us because they would feel left out of our inside jokes or secret talks, and no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't help breaking off from a group. It didn't help matters at all that when our parents died; it just made us gravitate closer than before. We were best friends. Yeah, we may not have gotten along on rare occasions, but I felt comfortable hanging out with my sister...well, except when she wanted to play with makeup or talk about clothes. Suddenly, I thought about how she had been doing that stuff more and more recently, and then, I realized that it was somewhat pathetic that my best friend was my sister. Maybe Carlisle was right, maybe this Jacob kid would want to play football or climb trees with me. It might be nice to get a break from Alice. She gave me a sheepish shrug and I knew she felt the same way about me. _

_I gave a nod to let Carlisle know I would try and so did Alice, but we exchanged a worried look as we cautiously made our way out of the car and towards the side porch. I did my best to smile through introductions. Inside though, I was feeling more and more nervous by the second, especially when Esme announced I was going to be in an advanced class this year. Great, I thought, just what I needed**¡** Now, not only would I be the new kid, but I would also be a nerd._

_I could feel my neck getting warm despite the cold air and I reached up to rub it nervously. Thankfully, the only one who noticed my unease was Alice, or so I thought._

"_The moving truck's going to be here any minute. We should unload the car," Carlisle interrupted Esme's praise, looking over at Alice and me with that same look from earlier. "How about you kids go explore?"_

"_Oh, that's a great idea," Renee agreed with a smile that reached all the way to her warm, chocolate brown eyes. She placed a hand on Bella's shoulder and Bella's matching eyes rolled at the embarrassing parental gesture. I'm glad I wasn't the only one getting embarrassed. "You and Jake can show them around. Just don't go too far. I'm going to take the four of you to Jimmy Cones for ice cream later, and then we'll go down to the firehouse to drop off those cupcakes I made for your dad and the rest of the crew."_

_I decided, right then and there, that I definitely liked Renee. Ice cream and a trip to the fire station, um, hell yeah!_

_My joy was quickly forgotten when the adults abandoned us. We all stood there awkwardly for a moment or two before I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat and I reached out my hand towards Jacob, attempting to appear grown up._

"_Hey, I'm Edward," _

_My hand hung in the empty space between us for a few moments until Bella pushed Jacob in my direction and begrudgingly, he put his hand in mine. _

"_Jacob," he sneered. _

_Jeez, he had a firm grip, and he was tall- a foot or so taller than me. How old was this kid anyway? I remembered something Renee had said about us all being the same age, but then, why did he look like he could pass for 14. What do they feed the kids on the reservation? Alice cleared her throat and I realized that I was still shaking his hand like an idiot so I stopped and pulled my hand away. _

"_And, um, this is my twin sister, Alice."_

_I looked at Alice and tried my best to signal her for help, but I looked more like a crazy person._

"_Yeah..."Jacob said, stretching out the word, clearly pointing out that he thought I was as crazy as I looked. _

"_Come on, Jake, lay off," Bella growled, stepping off the porch. "Your daddy's not here and we're supposed to be showing them around."_

"_I didn't agree to showing anyone around, Bells, you did. I'm not hanging out with anyone who's cursed," Jacob replied, looking over at Alice and me as if we were lower than dirt, his deep brown eyes clouded with distaste._

"_You told me yourself that you don't even believe that crap, Jake! You're just being mean."_

"_So? I thought it was just going to be you and me today! Why do we need to hang out with these losers? I mean look at them, he's a dork and she probably still plays with dolls."_

_My insides turned warm as my fists balled up in anger. This kid was stepping on thin ice. I could feel my blood practically boiling, my temper flaring._

_Alice, always the level headed one, stepped up and placed a hand on my shoulder, but the tension didn't leave my body, and I felt the tips of my ears turning red._

"_Hey, that bracelet's really cool, where did you get it?" Alice piped in, pointing to a friendship-type bracelet Bella had on her wrist, trying to ease the tension; it didn't work._

"_What the hell is your problem?" I yelled at Jacob, stepping forward until I was an inch away from him. He didn't seem so big anymore, not when I was thoroughly enraged. I bet I could take him. _

"_**You **__are my problem," he countered. "And I suggest you step back before my fist becomes your problem."_

"_Jesus! Knock it off!" Bella hollered, sliding between us to shove us apart, addressing first me and then, Jacob. "**You** need to control your temper, and **you** need to get over the fact that it's not going to be just the two of us anymore. I promised my mom that I'd help them get settled in."_

"_Well, then have fun, Bells. I'm out of here. You deal with the cursed twins and come hang out with me by the stream later," Jacob declared angrily, storming off into the woods._

"_What the hell was that all about?" I asked, demanding a response from Bella._

"_Chill out, he's gone. Maybe next time you should try not doing the whole hulk thing when you meet someone. No one likes it when someone goes from nervous to angry in two seconds flat. At least you didn't turn green."_

"_I wasn't nervous," I lied defensively, and both Alice and Bella rolled their eyes._

"_Whatever. Jake's my best friend, but he has a serious attitude problem. It's not often that __**I**__ can even impress him so don't be disappointed, champ."_

"_What are you-, I'm not disappointed and I wasn't trying to impress anybody," I lied again, trying to fight back my anger that continued to brew in my stomach. _

_Bella was seriously irritating. I thought it was just the boy, but I was still angry and he was long gone. It was like she could read me as well as Alice and I hated it because unlike Alice, she was calling me out on my flaws and blowing my ego to smithereens.  
_

My beeper goes off, the distinctive tones echoing through the house and into the bathroom, ripping me from the memory. I listen for a moment as I wash my body and hair, and when I'm sure the call isn't for me, I tune out the dispatcher. Normally, it would annoy me to be pulled from my thoughts by a call, but I'm actually somewhat thankful to be free of the memory. It's not as if I don't know what happened after that anyway. The rest of the day had been spent with Bella reading me like a book and making comments that pissed me off and emasculated me as I held back the urge to punch her. So pretty much, it was like every day that I've ever spent in her presence, except now she thoroughly enjoys pushing my buttons, hence why I'm really not looking forward to work tomorrow. I shut off the water and groan loudly as I grab my towel. For the first time in four years, I don't want to go to work because when I report for my 48-hour long shift in the morning, Bella will be clocking in right along side me, and I have no idea how I'm going to survive her company for two days without killing her.

**Personally, I am not all that proud of this chapter...I don't know why, maybe it's just because I feel so off lately, but hopefully, you guys liked it a lot better than I did. If so, feel free to tell me, I could really use a pick me up after the week I've had. **


	3. Intolerable Fire

**I'm not going to give an excuse for why I'm late posting this time, because it's the same one I gave last week and the week before that. For those of you who have never had to move, know this, it sucks! Thankfully, it will be all over soon, the place will be ours on Easter Sunday and unpacking will be a breeze compared to packing and sorting things for good will. OH! Speaking of goodwill, that place is the shit! I dropped off like 6 giant trash bags worth of stuff there yesterday and got 10 books and a pair of pants while I was there for $58! SCORE! =D Anyway, this chapter was supposed to include the fishing trip with Edward and Charlie, but I felt it needed to end at the spot I left it so maybe I'll put in the fishing trip as a flashback next chapter or something. Once again I own nothing Twilight, but I wish there was someway I could hire Dirty Edward to be my mover. Mm, how awesome would that be?**

**Chapter 3**

**Intolerable Fire**

"Fire is the most tolerable third party."~ H. D. Thoreau

**BPOV**

Dad was right of course, Mom is not too happy about me showing up at their house in my dripping clothes, but before she has the chance to lecture me, the house fills with smoke, signaling that dinner's ready at the Swan residence.

"Not again!" Mom exclaims, rushing frantically to the kitchen as she sweeps a few strands of brown hair that have fallen out of her bun, back behind her ear.

Events of this nature have been happening as long as I can remember. Mom always forgets things like where she put her keys, or that there's food in the oven. She'd never admit to it, but I'm almost positive that she did a lot of pot as a teen or something because no one's memory is as bad as hers is. She's so forgetful and worrisome that I'm shocked her hair hasn't started to gray yet. I say as much as I shake my head and race after her. She gives me the evil eye.

"Come on, that was a compliment. I was just saying that you're as beautiful as always, and apparently, still a terrible cook," I add the last part under my breath when my mom opens up the oven and thick, black smoke billows out to reveal what I think was supposed to be a roast.

I'll be honest, my mom has never been able to cook; she can't even bake. I can't count the number of times I made food and my mom paid me to pass it off as hers with the guys down at the station. It was our little secret when I was a kid. Dad knew, but he'd never rat Mom out, he'd just chuckle at her and give me a wink whenever we showed up with a tray of cupcakes or brownies. Anyway, for the past four years, I've wondered how my parents have gotten along on Mom's cooking, and staring at the black brick of what used to be meat, I can only guess that it was the extensive collection of take-out menus on the fridge. Well, that and fried fish, the only item my dad knows how to cook. For a brief moment, I feel guilty and a little sad before I remember that I'm home now. Maybe I can cook for them, or at least find out a way to teach Mom a thing or two. I may not be a supreme culinary expert, but at least I can make spaghetti without ruining it. Mom waves around a potholder, trying to clear the smoke and I attempt to cover a laugh by concealing my mouth with my hand.

"Isabella Marie Swan, are you laughing at your mother's delicious welcome home dinner?" Mom questions me jokingly, gesturing with her potholder towards the charred hunk of meat in the glass pan sitting on the rack in the oven.

My retort dies on my tongue when the meat spontaneously bursts into flames. In a panic, Mom jumps back a foot or so from the stove with wide eyes. I suppose I'm glad she didn't cook much while I was gone. Not even the fact that Dad is a fire chief could save her from burning her own house down. Thankfully, my dad has prepared for just such an occasion. I grab the extinguisher by the fridge, pull the tab, and spray the fire, filling the oven with white foam. Once the flames are out, I shut off the heat and grab the potholder from my mom, wagging my finger at her in mock shame.

"Mm, pot roast a la death," I shout over the now wailing smoke detectors, moving the pan from the oven to the sink. "Sadly, I had a big lunch so I think I'll pass."

Mom laughs and despite the wetness in her eyes, I know she's happy and so am I. It's nice to be home.

We deactivate the smoke detectors, order pizza for dinner, and Mom shoos me out of the kitchen so she can clean up the mess. Dad will be home soon from his shift and she doesn't want to have to explain what happened. I know it bugs my mom to listen to my dad lecture her, which is why I won't spill the beans, but tomorrow, I'm definitely going to buy groceries and teach that woman to cook. Things could have gone a lot worse if I hadn't been here today. I doubt she would have remembered the fire extinguisher so she probably would have stood there in shock as the fire grew. Eventually, the flames would have engulfed the kitchen and the house, possibly taking her as well. The thought sends shivers down my spine.

An image of a charred body, the only person that I've ever failed to save, flashes in my mind and I do my best to force it away. As a firefighter, I know that I can't save everyone, but that doesn't mean that I don't recall that day time and time again. I've gone over every detail, and I couldn't have done anything differently. I put my life on the line and it wasn't enough, nothing would have been enough to save that one. Unfortunately, just because that's the truth, doesn't mean that I don't feel sad when I think about that loss. With a little effort I'm able to let the memory go. It will surface again, but I try not to linger on it whenever it does. It's not right to live in the past. I should be thinking about the present, and at the present, I'm damp with rainwater and I smell like smoke and chemicals. The smell doesn't bother me, I'm used to it, but if I'm going to keep today's incident from Dad, I'm going to have to take a shower and change into some clean clothes.

After grabbing my suitcase, I make my way up the creaky, wooden stairs to the second floor, coming to an abrupt stop when I reach the top. My eyes drift to the right, into my parents' bedroom, and without thinking, I abandon my suitcase in the hall and step inside, seeming to be drawn into the space.

The room looks the same as when I last saw it, unchanged by my time away. The queen size bed with the blue comforter is made up perfectly neat, the old television set, that we used to have downstairs when I was really little, is in the armoire across from the bed, and sprawled out across the dresser and nightstands are a dozen different pictures. As I walk through the room, I scan each one. Most of them are the types of pictures everyone has sitting out at their house- school pictures, my first birthday party where my face is splattered in cake, and me all dressed up in my tutu for my one, and only, ballet recital. I skim past those and stop on one of my parents and me on my Dad's fishing boat when I was five. With a smile, I pick up the small brown frame and stroke the wood softly, admiring the image with reverence. I'm holding a huge fish up by a line of fishing wire as my parents squeeze me from both sides and we all have massive grins on our faces. It was the first time I ever caught something and my dad was so proud. I set the photo down gently as if I'm afraid of breaking the memory.

About half way down the dresser, I pick up another frame; it holds a picture of my Mom and Dad on their wedding day. Wedged into the corner is a small photo of me at age six. When I got caught playing dress-up in my mom's wedding dress, I was sure that she was going to yell at me, but instead she put some make-up on me, did my hair, and took a picture. Secretly, I enjoyed that day probably as much as my mom did. It was one of the only times I ever played dress-up. As a kid, I was always a tomboy and many of these snapshots prove it, especially the one on Dad's nightstand of Jake and me. With a beaming smile, I place the wedding photo down and walk to Dad's nightstand to pick up the photo of me and my best friend covered in mud from one of our epic mud fights.

My mom hated it when we got in mud fights and on that particular day, she had had enough of placing down towels for us to walk on in order for us to get to the bathroom and clean up. She refused to let us come into the house at all. The still shows Jake and me at age eight, stripped down to our underwear and undershirts, screaming as my mom sprays us down with the garden hose on the front lawn. Either my dad or his dad must have been holding the camera. I remember being so embarrassed that day that Jake and I never had another mud fight, but now that I look back on it, I find that moment in my life to be one of my most hysterical. It takes everything in me not to bust out laughing as I place the frame back down on the bedside table. I haven't felt this giddy in years.

That light and cheery feeling stays with me as I make my way over to my mom's side of the bed, in search of more of my childhood joy. It seems like every photograph in this room takes me back to some of the happiest times, times that I've nearly forgotten about, so it's a jolt to my system when I reach for a picture on my mom's nightstand that reminds me of a day that wasn't so happy. In fact, that day sucked, at least for me anyway.

My hands grip tightly to the edges of the frame as I look at the Cullen home, completely trashed. Standing on the front steps is Esme and my mom, smiling from ear to ear with their arms wrapped around each other. This photo was taken the day Edward and Alice entered my life. It's also the day that Jake and I had our first real fight and all because I stuck up for that idiot. How did he repay me? By being a complete ass. It was like no matter what I said to Edward, he took it the wrong way and our interactions have only been worse since then. At this point, there's no use in even trying to be nice when everything I say is automatically wrong. Now Alice is a different story, her and I are simply too different. She probably hates me because I'm not all girly like she is and I don't want to talk about clothes for hours on end.

Esme and my mom could talk forever about anything; they do it all the time. I sigh loudly, gazing at the two of them, looking so happy. It must be nice to have a close girl friend. It would be great for those times that I want to talk about something other than cars or how hot Jake thinks Jessica Alba is. That will never happen with Alice and me though. Our families are so close and I sometimes think it sucks that we don't get along, but were like aliens from different planets. She's from unicorn and fairy land and I'm from the dark, mysterious forest of misfits. I set the photo back down and walk out of the room and across the hall to my on space, intent on moving onto something that doesn't remind me of the Cullen twins and the fact that we will never get along.

My parents' room isn't the only one that remained the same. Everything is just how I left it. In the left-hand corner is my old, twin-size bed covered with the purple comforter I had in my teens and folded at the foot of the bed, is the afghan my grandmother made me before she passed away. Next to the bay window, on the right-hand side of the bedroom, is my bookshelf, overflowing with works by dozens of different authors from Stephen King to Shakespeare and everything in between. Just to the left of that is my oak dresser, marked up with permanent marker graffiti of Quileute tribe symbols and some of my own. Across the top, carved with a whittling knife, is Jake's name and mine, a sign of our handiwork. The walls are white, or at least they would be if they were visible, lining the room from floor to ceiling is a sea of movie and music posters, and some sheet music for my favorite classic composers like Debussy.

My eyes wander across the images of my favorite musicians and films that line my bedroom walls- Green Day, Metallica, Queen, KISS, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Temptations, Billie Holiday, Frank Sinatra, Dracula, Interview with the Vampire, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, The Princess Bride, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, The Shining, Dawn of the Dead. There are times that I forget how diverse I am, but looking at these walls, I can see it all too clearly. Why is it that I can like almost everything, but Edward and I can't find one thing that we agree one? The thought pops into my head with no effort on my part and once again, I find myself thinking of the worse of the two Cullen twins. Edward and I like a lot of the same music, Debussy for example, but we'll argue over stupid things like what compositions better, 'Reverie', or 'Clair de Lune'. What I don't understand is why. If we both like Debussy, than why do we have to argue over it? Damn it…why do I care? So what if Edward doesn't agree with me on anything or that our parents get along and we don't? It doesn't fucking matter; he hates me, Alice hates me and no matter what I do, they're never going to change and neither am I. With a groan, I toss my suitcase on the bed and head into the bathroom. So much for the Cullen twins not ruining my day.

The next morning, I'm up at the crack of dawn, who the hell knows why. I blame it on the fact that I've been a light sleeper ever since I started working as a fire fighter. Whatever, I'm up so I use the extra time to my advantage. I leave a note with my parents and drive out to Port Angeles, arriving in the nick of time for the opening of the Verizon store and a bubbly young girl proceeds to tell me that I'll have to buy a replacement phone because water damage isn't covered under insurance. No, really**¡** I'm sure she notices me rolling my eyes at her because she's not nearly as bubbly after that. I end up walking away with a cool smart phone though. It does internet and gives me the opportunity to check out my Facebook and e-mail. Yippie**¡** Not only do I have no new friend requests, or posts on my wall, but I also have nothing in my e-mail inbox except junk mail. I hate junk mail. I'm not going to send $20,000 to some guy in a far away country, I have no need for a drug that will enlarge my non-existent penis, nor do I intend to meet a girl named Tiffany for a hot date tonight. I wonder if anybody ever falls for that crap, probably. I mark all the e-mails as spam and trash them.

"Well, what do I do now?" I murmur to myself, checking the time on my phone.

It's only nine o'clock. Oh! Jake should be opening up shop right about now. I climb into my truck and dial up one of the only numbers I've ever bothered to memorize. A familiar voice answers on the third ring.

"Thank you for calling Black Automotive, this is Jacob Black. How can I help you today?"

"Uh, I'll have a club sandwich and a tea," I say, and I'm unable to keep the smile of my face as I hear him say the next line of the famous SNL skit.

"No club, no tea. Cheeseburger."

"Okay, I'll have a cheeseburger, well done," I reply.

"All right, cheeseburger," he agrees. "What to drink?"

"Ah, no tea?" I ask.

"No tea. Pepsi."

"Ah, do you have root beer?" I question him.

"No. No root beer. Pepsi."

"Grape. Do you have-?" I start the line and he cuts me off perfectly, shouting into the phone.

"Pepsi!"

We're both barely able to contain our laughter as I choke out my reply.

"I don't think I want anything to drink, thanks."

"Okay, tea."

As soon as he says the last line, there's no stopping the hysterics. It takes nearly 5 minutes for the two of us to calm down enough to speak again.

"God, I'm so happy you're home, Bells. We should do that skit at the diner. Waylon runs the place now. I'm sure he'd go for it. Oh, speaking of you being home, if you have some free time, you should come by the shop today."

I look around at the practically empty parking lot and put the truck in gear.

"Hell yeah," I declare. "I'm out in Port Angeles right now, but I'll head over once I get back into town."

"Sounds good, Bells…Oh, a customer just walked in. I'll see you when you get here."

We both say goodbye and I hang up the phone to make the long drive to La Push.

When I pull up in front of Black Automotive, I already feel welcome. It isn't a real fancy place, just a large tin structure painted red and black, but Jake is extremely proud of his shop and rightfully so. Everyone, who's anyone around Forks, comes here to get work down on their cars. I walk into the front door and the smell of burnt metal, and dirt hits me. It smells like Jake, or I guess Jake smells like it.

"Jake!" I call out his name, expecting to see him pop his head into the office through the door that leads into the garage. I get quite the surprise when it's someone else entirely who walks into the doorway.

"Seth!" I run towards the tall boy with the kid-like face, short black hair, and tan skin. He wraps his arms around me, squeezing me hard. Holy crap! It's like hugging a statue. This boy is ripped. The last time I saw him he was 13 and scrawny. I laugh. "Whoa, you're buff. What are you, like 16?"

I tease him and ruffle his hair.

"17 next month," he says, pushing down his hair with grease-coated hands.

"Why aren't you in school? Ditching? I don't care what anyone says, it's healthy to ditch class now and then."

"Graduated early," he replies with a wide grin. "I'm just working here until I can start UW in the fall."

"Wow! That's amazing, Seth. I bet your parents are proud."

He blushes and changes the subject.

"Are you here to see Jake?"

"Yeah, actually, I am, he was expecting me, but he probably forgot or something. Is he busy?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I saw him go into the stockroom." Seth tells me, pointing towards the garage as if I don't know where it is. I smile at him knowingly and he drops his hand. "I forget sometimes that you used to basically live her. Well, I should get back to work, I'll see you later."

"Definitely," I say, walking towards the garage. I make my way through the large open space, avoiding tripping over tools or knocking over the stereo that Seth has blaring and open up the door to the stockroom to find more than what I was expecting, a lot more.

There are hands all over bodies, and mouths on mouths. I think there's some sort of squeaking noise, but I'm doing everything I can to tune it out. I can't make myself move. I feel my breakfast attempt to come back up, but I won't let it. I choke it down and clamp my eyes shut, thanking the dear, sweet, lord that there were still clothes on the two people entangled together.

Unfortunately, even with my eyes closed, I can still see her fake-permed, mousy brown hair and my best friend's lip on hers. Of all the rotten, horrible people…Jake is shacking up with the dumbest, most uninteresting, shallow girl in Forks. He could do a thousand times better. This doesn't make any sense. Most of the time, I could give a fuck less who he fucks, but come on! Even Lauren Mallory would have been a better choice, and she's a total bitch. At least she has some fucking intelligence.

"Shit, Bells," Jake stammers and I hear a bunch of clattering, but I refuse to open my eyes.

"Yeah, I'll-, uh, come back later," I murmur and turn to leave. Now that I'm able to open my eyes again, I rush back through the garage, the office, and out the front door with a speed I didn't know was possible.

I seriously cannot believe I just saw those two making out like horny teenagers. I feel dirty. Jake grabs my arm as I'm about to get into the truck and a shudder runs through me. No more than two minutes ago he was rubbing his hands all over some girl. GROSS! I don't care if they both had clothes on and his hands were only wrapped around her over her shirt. It's still nasty, he's like my brother.

"Whoa! Bells, hold up,"

His voice is so full of nervousness that I stop trying to pull away. I force myself not to throw up or wipe down my arm the moment he lets it go.

"I thought we were going to hang out," he says, bewildered.

"Well, I forgot, I have to go to the store and I promised my mom I would teach her how to cook some things," I ramble, trying to ease out of this awkward situation.

"If this is about Jessica, she just stopped by to say hi."

"It looked like a lot more than saying hi…I can't believe you're fucking her," I cringe and his eyes go wide.

"Wait, no one told you?" he asks. "I mean, I told no one to tell you, but I didn't think they would seriously not tell you. I wanted to wait and talk to you about it myself, in person."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I demand. "Why in the world would anyone care about telling me that you're fucking Jessica? I don't intend to fuck you myself so what does it matter? I just figured you'd do better than Jessica Stanley. What happened to that chick-, um, Maggie? She was nice."

"Maggie got some posh job in Seattle. Besides, I'm not fucking Jessica…well, I'm not _just_ fucking her. Bells…Jessica and I have been dating for four months."

**OoOo! Jessica, you skank! Moving on, I have a question for you all. Could leaving me a review really make my day? Does a former drill sergeant make a terrible therapist? **

**Patient:And that's why yellow makes me sad, I think. **

**Former Drill Sergeant Therapist: That's interesting, you know what makes me sad? You do! Maybe we should chug on over to mamby pamby land where we can find some self confidence for you, you jack wagon!**

**What? It works for Geico, I figured it might work for me. Alright...if you don't like that, how about this. I'm an author who's teetering on the edge of sanity and my imaginary bff, becky, just told me that Dirty Edward's not real. Now I'm emotionally compromising. *Kicks you* WHOOPSIE! I'm all 'OMG! Becky's not even real! How the hell would she know!' If you don't leave a review you may end up with an even more emotionally compromised author who will continually kick you. So leave a review and be protected from mayhem, like me. LMAO!**


	4. Thankful for Fire

**Yes, it's late and yes, it's short. Sorry, guys. The good news is I'm almost done with my packing and I'm moving on the 24th, Easter Sunday. Once I take a few days to get settled, I'll be thoroughly back in the grind. The bad news is that I don't know if I'll get to post again prior to that point. I'll try my best, but it's going to be tough with the move a week and a half away, especially with all the things that need to get done. The only day I will have to write next week will be Tuesday and with the stress, my chapters are taking 3 days instead of 1. I'm signing my lease on Wednesday, driving to the new place (30 minutes away) on Thursday to do something...I honestly can't remember what. Then, on Friday, I'm driving to pick up my husband from the new house so he can leave his car there and on Saturday the 23rd, I'm driving him to work at 6 in the morning so he can pick up the rental truck on his lunch. Also on that Saturday, I have to sit in the new house for 5 hours so the cable people can set up and I'm meeting my mother-in-law at the movies to see Water For Elephants. Sunday we move, Monday and Tuesday, I'll be unpacking so I'm thinking that I should be fully back to writing by the 27th...hopefully. BOO! I really miss writing, you guys, and now-a-days even when I have the time, the stress is causing writer's block. It's terrible. I can't wait until this move is over. I want my life back! Anyway, once again, I own nothing Twilight, but writing bug, please don't fail me now...I need to keep me sanity somehow. Enjoy and please review!**

**Chapter 4**

**Thankful for Fire**

"He who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fire. Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient."~ W.J. Cameron

**EPOV**

This week has been terrible and it's only getting worse. I thought fishing with Bella yesterday sucked, but at least she was in a bad mood so she was mostly silent. I think it might have had something to do with Jacob because when I got to the house, I overheard her talking to Charlie about him dating a girl that she didn't like. Honestly, I don't see why she would care anyway, unless she's fucking him, which I wouldn't doubt. Regardless, that's the whole reason Charlie invited her to come fishing with us and since she was down in the dumps, she didn't talk all that much. We simply sat in Charlie's boat in silence for a majority of the day. Today however, Bella's spirits are unfortunately high. She and Emmett haven't shut up since the start of the shift 6 hours ago, and every word out of their mouths is grinding on my nerves. If I have to hear one more movie quote, I think I'll scream.

It's been an uneventful morning so we've all been lounging around in our blue fire shirts and pants. For the first couple of hours we occupied our time with chores, but now we have nothing to do but wait around for something to happen. I stretch out across one of the three giant, red couches in the common room, turning the volume up on the television in an attempt to block out the noise that echoes off the vast open space of the second floor. I used to think this place was awesome because the game area, kitchen, and lounge take up nearly half the floor, and it's all open so I can talk to someone who's in the kitchen without getting up from the couch. Right now though, I hate whoever designed this place. Somehow, even with CSI blaring, I can still hear Emmett's booming voice on the other side of the building by the pool table.

"Are you serious? You don't know what a bobsled is?" asks Emmett in surprise, and Bella shakes her head. "It's when you're doing a girl at the top of the stairs from behind, and you punch her in the head to knock her out and ride her down the stairs."

The room explodes with laughter and Rose growls into her Cosmopolitan magazine, her model features contorting into a scowl. Her eyes narrow as she glares menacingly over the back of the other red couch that she's sitting on, but neither of them notices her death gaze. At least I'm not the only one who's annoyed as shit; although, it would be nice if I had someone to agree with me who isn't a raging bitch. Rose hates everyone except her little brother Jasper, who incidentally is dating my sister, and the two of them, like Mike and Tyler, are on-call this shift so they're probably doing things at Jasper's place that I don't want to think of.

"Emmett! I need you to run an inspection with me," hollers Charlie from downstairs. Still laughing, Emmett lays his pool stick on the table and slides down the fire pole, out of sight, leaving the room almost quiet enough that I can hear myself think.

"Finally," I murmur, turning down the volume on the television. "Some peace and-"

The sound of the alarm cuts me off and my heart slams into my chest as I jump up from the couch. In record time, I slide down to the first floor and pull on my bunker gear with perfect ease while the county dispatcher, Angela, drones over the loud speaker.

"Forks Fire, fire alarm going off at 261 South Spartan Avenue, response needed for a fire alarm, county clear at 1400."

Everyone lets out a simultaneous groan at the announcement. It's the high school- again. Automatically, we all head to the fire engine instead of the ladder truck and I take my spot in the passenger seat as Rose climbs up to sit on the back, bench seat.

"Hey, Bella, five bucks say it's a prank, you in?" asks Emmett as he steps up into the engine's cab and sits beside Rose. Bella rolls her eyes and takes the spot next to him.

"Only a total idiot would take that bet, Emmett," Bella replies.

"Exactly, that's why he asked you," I say, peering into the back with a smirk as Bella's lips purse in anger. Before she has the opportunity to hit with a comeback, Charlie's taken the driver's seat and I'm on the radio, replying to dispatch, a smile of triumph on my face. "Forks Fire responding to fire alarm at 261 South Spartan Avenue with a crew of 5 and engine."

With a flip of the siren switch, we take off.

Unsurprisingly, some stupid kid pulled the alarm, none other than John and Kelly Masters' son, Alec. At age 16, he's the town punk, always getting into trouble, but this stunt might finally land him in juvie. I would feel bad for him except he's been given every opportunity to straighten up in the past. Sometimes a kick in the teeth is what a person needs to see what's best for them. I do wish that it didn't mean pointless runs for the fire crew though.

By the time we arrive back to the firehouse and strip out of our bunker gear, it's nearly time for dinner. Thankfully, it's Rose's night to cook and despite the fact that she's a she-demon, she knows how to make some amazing Mexican food. I didn't even know how good Mexican could be until her and Jasper transferred here from Texas.

"Wow, Rose, it smells incredible in here," I announce as I set the table between the game room and the lounge that serves as our dining and meeting room.

I'm not normally one for niceties and small talk with Rose, but she's outdone herself this time. The smell of steak marinated in spices and sautéed with onions is soaking into my brain and turning me into a salivating moron. Besides, without Jasper or Alice around, I'm not really left with anyone to talk to, except Charlie, and he's working on some paperwork in the office downstairs. Rose's head jerks in my direction, looking kind of like that chick in the exorcist and I realize I've made a mistake. I should know by now not to try to strike up a conversation with the devil.

"We already went over this, Cullen. Not only are you an arrogant prick with a cocky, know-it-all attitude, and a short fuse, you're also two years younger than I am. So unless you're somehow going to change all those aspects about yourself, you don't have a chance in hell," she says, her words filled with venom and attitude. "I thought I made that pretty clear the last time you hit on me, but I'd be happy to leave you with a more permanent memento of my complete disinterest."

Her eyes gesture towards my crotch with a menacing glance and there may be smoke coming out of her ears, but I'm not quite sure because at the moment, I'm too irritated at the fact that she thinks I was hitting on her and possibly a tad bit concerned for my cock. This is what I get for trying to be nice. Okay, so yeah, I tried to throw some moves on her when she first showed up here. That was a year ago though, and come on, I had to at least try, she's smoking hot. Rose made it pretty damn clear that I'm not her type; she made me see that by holding a blowtorch by my crotch and telling me that she would burn my dick off if I ever hit on her again. Like I said, she's a psychotic, she-demon. I don't even have a clue how she could have gotten 'I want to fuck you' out of what I just said, but leave it to Rose to be set off by what was intended to be a simple, flattering remark. Who does she think she is, fucking Megan Fox or something? She's not that hot and she's calling me a know-it-all, she's the one who automatically assumed I was hitting on her. I feel the tips of my ears starting to burn as my thoughts spiral into angry territory and in only a second's time, my rage beats out my need for self-preservation.

"God, you're such a bitch! Maybe you should get your fucking ears checked, Satan, because I don't know what the fuck you heard, but I'm damn sure I didn't say, 'Hey, Rose, how about you come ride my cock?'" I huff out a burst of air in annoyance, pulling a tray of steak from the counter and placing it on the table. "When you learn how to take a fucking compliment let me know because until then, you won't hear a word from me."

I turn to walk into the kitchen again and shrink back; Rose is standing no more than two feet away, her eyes narrowed in absolute fury. She looks like she did that time that she kneed Mike in the balls. I reach instinctively to cover my goods, expecting the worst. Fuck my life…

"Oh! Can I get in on that? I'd love to not hear you talk, Edward. Maybe we could make it a permanent thing," says a smiling Bella, walking into the room from one of the hallways, her hair still wet from a shower. She takes a seat in an empty chair at the table, dips a chip in some salsa, and takes a bite. "Oh, wow! Did you make this, blondie? It's really good, could use a little more onion though."

Rose's glare turns on her and even if I wanted to warn Bella, I know there's no way she'd listen to me. The last time Emmett called Rose blondie, he got a scolding hot coffee in his lap. Yep, total fucking she-demon.

Rose stalks over to the table, slams the final tray of food down, and drops her oven mitts with a growl. Her body tenses in restraint as she places a hand on the table and bends over so that her eyes are level with Bella's, an inch from her face.

"If you _ever_ call me blondie again, and I do mean ever, Ms. Thinks-your-all-that-just-because-your-the-chief's-bratty-daughter, I will pull every hair out of your fucking head, got it?"

I expect Bella to tremble a little bit or maybe sit there speechless, but she does neither. I hate that she always manages to do something I never expect. It's as if she can read my mind, but I can't read hers. A smile curls up on her face, and then, suddenly, she laughs, a loud laugh right in Rose's face, and she doesn't stop. She keeps laughing until she falls out of the chair and onto the floor, gripping her sides, and I'm not sure if she's lost her mind or what, but Rose is fuming.

"Oh my god…I can't breathe…" Bella cries out between bursts of chuckles and giggles as Rose storms off, muttering under her breath.

"…Screw this; I didn't sign up for this bullshit…Charlie can bite me..."

As I watch Bella continue to laugh and roll around on the floor, appearing unaffected by Rose's threat, I can't shake the feeling that she really saved my balls, whether she realizes it or not. A forgotten memory flashes in my head of a day in high school, senior year, and I remember it's not the first time she's saved me from a confrontation with a girl.

_I walked towards my advanced biology class, weaving around groups of students that were herding through the halls like cattle. Everyone was talking about their plans for prom this weekend and I was in a hurry, trying to avoid Lauren Mallory. I'd heard from Alice that she was planning to ask me to the dance a few weeks ago, despite the fact that guys normally asks girls to those sorts of things, or so Alice said. Whatever, the point is she'd been trying to corner me and it wasn't that I had a problem with telling her no; it was that Lauren wasn't beneath blackmailing me into it. Since her dad, Steven Mallory, a man as horrible as his daughter, became Carlisle's boss at the hospital, she'd used my Uncle's job to con me into taking her on a date to Port Angeles. I wasn't suffering through time alone with her again and there was no way I was going to prom with or without her. That's why for the past two weeks, I had taken an entirely different route to my classes, eaten in my car at lunch, and raced out of school at the last bell. Alice thought I was being stupid, but she wasn't the one who had to listen to Lauren talk about how ugly she thought Jessica's hair was for three hours._

"_Almost there," I whispered to myself, rounding the final corner to my last class of the day. _

_I literally had one foot in the door when I heard her voice._

"_There you are!"_

_My stomach dropped as she walked towards me all fake perfection- straightened blond hair, green contact lenses, and clothes that clung to her tightly enough that I could make out nearly every inch of her body. I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole though, she's a bitch; her pussy probably has teeth or something. She's the type of girl who would lie and feed me some bullshit about her being knocked-up so that I'd be fucked for life. No, thank you._

"_I've been looking all over for you, Eddie baby," she cooed, placing her hand on my chest and I may have vomited in my mouth a little, but I tried to smile, I'm sure it looked more like a grimace. I hate it when people call me Eddie._

"_Oh, you have? Sorry, I've been real busy catching up with schoolwork, preparing for finals, and you know, I volunteer at the fire station. I don't have any free time lately," I blurted out the excuse and peered down at my watch. "Shit, I should really get to class. I have to turn in some stuff."_

_I gestured toward the room that I still had half my foot in, and instead of taking the hint, Lauren gripped my shirt and pulled me to the side._

"_Nonsense," she said, pressing on me so my back was to the wall by the door. "You haven't agreed to go to prom with me yet, Eddie. Daddy wouldn't like it if you made his princess miss prom and there's no way I'd go with anyone, but you. Everyone knows you'll win prom king and shouldn't the king and queen go together?"_

_I could feel my face getting hot in irritation and sweat beading on the back of my neck. I needed to find a way out of going to prom with Lauren and I needed to do it fast. My mind racked with possibilities, but nothing was good enough to get me out of it. I could agree to go and then, pretend to be sick on Saturday except Lauren would probably demand I go to the hospital or something._

"_Edward, prom king?" Bella cut in and I turned my head to see her standing in the doorway with her books, tapping her foot impatiently. I wasn't lying when I said I had work to turn in. Bella was unfortunately, my lab partner, and she wasn't happy about me standing in the hall, wasting valuable time that could be spent going over our paper before we turned it in. "Um, news flash, Lauren, you can't be prom king if you're not going to prom. Edward's working that night and my dad's not going to let him get out of it. He's got plans to have him scrub up the new expansion on the station so Edwardella can't go to the ball. His fairy godmother says no. Now move it along, my lab partner and I have shit to do."_

_With that, Lauren's hand dropped, she scowled at Bella, and walked away. Bella shook her head in irritation, watching her vanish from sight with an incredulous look on her face._

"_What a bitch," she said and I stared at her in disbelief. Bella normally would love to see me deal with uncomfortable situations, but her hate for me was apparently overshadowed by her revulsion of Lauren...at least for a moment. "By the way, my dad really is going to have you working that night. Now hurry up, we only have a minute before the bell rings," Bella declared in exasperation, shoving me into the classroom, "and I don't want to turn in your half of the paper without reading it first. You and I both know that with Mr. Banner your stupid errors can cost us an A." _

_Her jab struck a cord with me and I snapped at her._

"_That happened one time!"_

"_One time too many," she replied._

That's what this incident feels like, one time too many. Even if she doesn't know it, she saved my ass yet again and now I feel like I owe her a favor, and I hate owing favors.

**So, who wants to play a game? It's called 'leave me a review and help an author keep the small sliver of sanity she has left'. It sounds like a pretty depressing game, but only if you read and don't bother to review. As long as you review, it will make me happy and trust me, happy is what I need right now...Well, time to make yet another goodwill run, but sadly, not for picking up things, just for dropping off more junk. Who knew my house held so much useless crap? I sure didn't. When was the last time I used our chocolate fondue fountain? The answer to that is 4 years ago, at my house warming party and my husband, who is allergic to alcohol, got sloshed and ate a cold burger that he dipped in chocolate...gross...but funny. He also claimed that the wind is what holds you up when your outside (it was really windy that night)...*shakes head* Good times. So long chocolate fountain! **


	5. The Secret Fire

**I'm back! =D All moved into the new house and with a brand new chapter for you. Just so you all know, I've been trying to write this since Tuesday. Writer's block and moving troubles made it take a lot longer than it should have. Sorry about that. For those of you who haven't gotten review replies from me (I believe there's two or three I haven't done yet), I've been VERY busy, but I will get to them as soon as possible (probably Tuesday), promise! Anyway, I suppose I should let you guys get to reading. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but things are about to get very interesting. =D Enjoy and please review!**

**Chapter 5**

** The Secret Fire**

"There is a sort of jealousy which needs very little fire; it is hardly a passion, but a blight bred in the cloudy, damp despondency of uneasy egoism."~ George Eliot

**BPOV**

Jake and Jessica…Jake is dating Jessica…Jake is happily dating Jessica…Nope, no matter how many times I say it to myself, it's still hard to fathom, and even as I stand here in a steaming hot shower, I can't stop thinking about it. Jake would probably find that funny, that I'm thinking about him while taking a shower. He'd say something along the lines of, 'Thinking about me while you're dripping wet? That's hot, Bells.' Of course, then he'd cringe in that way he does whenever we jokingly flirt, probably recalling that one time we kissed each other and how it felt like he was kissing one of his sisters. The funny thing is that it would probably have felt less like kissing his sister if he was actually kissing one of his sisters. I've spent more time with Jake than either Rebecca or Rachel. They're 10 years older than he is and he barely knows them because they moved out when he was really young. He sees them on the holidays mostly now. Whatever...I can't say that the kiss we shared was any better on my end. I have no siblings to compare the feeling to, but kissing Jake just felt wrong. I shudder in disgust at the memory, turning off the shower and reaching for a towel to dry myself.

Jake kissing Jessica seems even more wrong though. How can he not understand why I'm so put-off by her? She's nowhere near his type. Normally, Jake goes for laid-back, smart girls, and Jessica is definitely not smart or laid back. So why in the hell is he dating her? Has the world gone mad? What's next, me dating Edward?

The thought is so ludicrous that I laugh aloud as I pull on my blue work pants and slip into my blue shirt with the fire department logo. Nothing could possibly be more insane. I'd expect to see a lion and a lamb lay down beside each other before Edward and I ever lie down together. An image of the two of us locked in a heated embrace, wrapped in sheets, with skin against skin flickers into my mind, and I'm caught off guard by a sudden intense heat flooding my body from my toes to the tips of my fingers. I shake my head, clearing the image, and the heat dissipates. Wow…I must really need to get laid if the thought of having sex with Edward is that appealing. I wouldn't have sex with him if he were the last guy on earth. It's not that he's unattractive, he's kind of hot, I guess, but I don't think I could ever get pass how much of an ass he is. I can't deny that I'm seriously turned on by the thought of sleeping with him right now though. Well, it has been a while. At least a couple years since that one night stand in Phoenix. I wonder if Quil's still around. He was always good for a little fun.

Quil was a bit of a bad boy back when we were 17 and I used to chill on the reservation during the weekends to avoid the Cullen twins. Against Jake's wishes, I went cruising on the back of his motorcycle a couple of times. I told Jake it was because Quil was teaching me to ride, but the truth was we were sneaking of to First Beach and fucking like banshees. When Jake surprised me that year with a motorcycle he'd fixed up for my birthday, I had to tell him the truth and it didn't go over too well. I can still hear him screaming about how Quil wasn't good enough for me and threatening to beat him to a bloody pulp. He probably would have if Paul and Jared hadn't interfered. Damn…now that I think about it, Jake would be pissed if I asked him about Quil, and we're already on thin ice after our fight the other day. We haven't spoken since I climbed into the truck and sped off after he revealed he's been dating Jessica. He's definitely mad at me and I can't say that I'm happy with him either. I let out a deep sigh. I hate fighting with Jake. Nevertheless, if the roles were reversed and I was dating Edward (ugh, never going to happen), he'd be just as upset as I am, probably more.

If Edward and I are the example of hate, Edward and Jake are in uncharted territory. I don't think the two of them have actually had a single conversation that didn't end up with them arguing. I'm sure the only person who would despise a union between Edward and me more would be Jake's dad, Billy. He loves me like one of his own, and I think he's holding onto hope that I'll end up with Jake (yeah, not likely). Not to mention he'd freak out because Edward's a "so-called" cursed one.

"Pfft…what a load of bull," I say to my mirror self while brushing out my wet hair.

I don't believe that crap, no matter what the Quileute's say. I mean, sure, I'd love it if Edward and Alice were actually cursed. At least that way, I would know they would eventually get what they deserve after being mean to me for years, but according to Quileute legend Carlisle and Esme, sweet, kind Esme are just as bad off as they are, and the thought of them being destined for- well, it's just absurd is what it is. There's no way that Carlisle and Esme could be cursed so obviously the tribe must be wrong.

I push the idea away and abandon the girl's communal bathroom and my ever-changing thoughts. The delicious smell of fajitas wafts down the hallway and after dropping my stuff off in one of the small bedrooms furnished with only a single twin size bed, I make my way to the kitchen. I'm only halfway down the hall when I hear Rose.

"We already went over this, Cullen. Not only are you an arrogant prick with a cocky, know-it-all attitude, and a short fuse, you're also two years younger than I am. So unless you're somehow going to change all those aspects about yourself, you don't have a chance in hell," Rose snaps viscously and an odd feeling enters me, anger tinged with an edge of unease. "I thought I made that pretty clear the last time you hit on me, but I'd be happy to leave you with a more permanent memento of my complete disinterest."

I suddenly dislike Rose, a lot, but I can't figure out why. It's not as if she's been nice to me at all so I guess it could be because of that. Still, it sort of seems like it bothers me that she's busting Edward's chops…It reminds me of how I felt in high school, that one day Lauren had Edward pinned. That was a strange day. I didn't have any intention of coming to his rescue, but he had the distinct look of a deer caught in headlights. The thing is that I already hated Lauren when she did that so I helped partially because I wanted to piss her off. Whatever…he's a big boy now; he can take care of himself. Maybe he won't even need saving, perhaps he's learned how to keep his mouth shut…

"God, you're such a bitch!" Edward shouts as I come within view of the kitchen. "Maybe you should get your fucking ears checked, Satan, because I don't know what the fuck you heard, but I'm damn sure I didn't say, 'Hey, Rose, how about you come ride my cock?'"

Edward has his back turned away from Rose so he can't see the look of fury in her eyes. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that pissed off before. No wonder everyone here is terrified of her except Emmett…then again, he may just have a death wish. She's fucking psychotic.

"When you learn how to take a fucking compliment let me know because until then, you won't hear a word from me," Edward finishes his rant, turns to see Rose and backs away instinctually, covering his balls.

The situation would be funny if not for the intense expression on Rose's face. Emmett's told me what she's capable of and I have no reason to doubt that what he says is true. I'm torn between breaking it up and letting the chips fall where they may. I don't want to help Edward…I hate helping him…but wait, I'm not the only one who hates it, Edward despises owing debts. My lips lift in a smile- I love it when there's a silver lining.

"Oh! Can I get in on that? I'd love to not hear you talk, Edward. Maybe we could make it a permanent thing," I say, strolling into the room as if I own the place. Jake once said that I'm a terrible actress, but judging by the swift change in Edward's expression- frightened to annoyed- I could win an Oscar. I take a seat in an empty chair at the table, dip a chip in some salsa, and take a bite. Here goes nothing. "Oh, wow! Did you make this, blondie? It's really good, could use a little more onion though."

I know what I've just done. I received a massive warning from Emmett about calling Rose 'blondie'. If I hadn't though, I would probably be scared shitless of the sudden change in the direction of Rose's fury. Her eyes bore into mine as she slams a tray onto the table and stalks over to me, a lioness intent on devouring her prey. She leans over, bringing herself eye-level with me and I purse my lips; letting her now that I clearly mean business…bring it, bitch.

"If you _ever_ call me blondie again, and I do mean ever, Ms. Thinks-your-all-that-just-because-your-the-chief's-bratty-daughter, I will pull every hair out of your fucking head, got it?"

Her threat is substantially frightening, but her nostrils flare, destroying any bit of terror I have. In my mind, Rose morphs into a huge, scaly, green, dragon with blonde hair and bright red lipstick on her snout. Rozilla is wearing a gigantic red, strapless dress, smoke billows out of her nostrils, and her eyes are sparkling with rage. My reaction is neither smart nor intentional it's simply unavoidable. The image is the funniest damn thing I've ever imagined. I crack a smile and before I know it, I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt. At some point, I fall from the chair; however, the laughing doesn't stop.

"Oh my god…I can't breathe…" I cry out between bursts of chuckles and giggles, catching a glimpse of Rose's departure and Edward's extremely irritated face.

Dinner is a quiet affair apart from Emmett's booming voice discussing the score of the game that's playing in the background. Of course there are several dirty looks shot across the table, between Edward, myself, and Rose.

"Emmett, you need to take out the trash and Rose cooked so Edward, Bella, you two are in charge of clean up," Dad declares, standing up from the table to walk into the sitting room.

He sits on one of the red couches, reaching for the remote. All it takes is a glance at the clock and I immediately know why. It's 6:50 on Thursday and my dad is a creature of habit. Every Monday, he buys a random lottery ticket. Then, he proceeds to grumble about wasting money and goes on to say that the lottery is just a scam to lure good people out of their hard-earned cash. Still, it never fails that on Thursday you can find him checking his numbers on the local 7 o'clock news.

Edward grabs the plates off the table and I follow him into the kitchen, where I wash and he dries. There is of course no talking between us, which isn't very surprising. I'm bored though so I decide to spice things up a bit.

"You know, you could say thank you. I can imagine that admitting you needed help can be quite embarrassing, but it's okay, I won't make you grovel…too much," I say, smirking at him. I flick a little water at him and he growls, sending a rush of warmth through me. There's a satisfaction that comes from knowing I'm pissing him off, and as I see the tips of his ears turn red, I know I'm getting on his nerves. "Well, come on already…just admit how much you need me and how grateful you are to have me here. Oh, and of course do a little bow, I need to have a good mental image later when I tell this story to the pack down at La Push."

"Thank you," he snarls, yanking a plate out of my hand. He begins to dry it as he continues. "For proving yet again that you're a bitch, I was beginning to forget. I didn't need your fucking help so how about you keep your nose out of my business."

"Fine, next time I'll let Rozilla rip off your fucking di-"

The sound of buzzing cuts off my retort, and with a glare, Edward pulls his cell phone from his pocket. He looks at the phone, letting out a groan of annoyance and my eyes wander to the words on the screen.

_From: Jessica Stanley_

_I've been thinking about last night like all day and I'm so wet for you, Eddie. Call me and I'll let you listen..._

My blood boils beneath my skin as I absorb the meaning behind her message. Jessica is dating Jacob…and Jessica is fucking Edward. Without thinking, I drop the plate I'm holding in the sink and shove Edward hard. His phone drops and the expression on his face changes from irritation to a mixture of confusion and anger, causing his emerald eyes to widen and then narrow into tight slits.

"What the fuck is your problem, Swan?"

The scene from the other day in the store room at Jake's work replays in my head, but instead of Jake and Jessica, it's Edward and Jessica, completely naked, and he's holding her around the waist as he plows into her. I don't even know why I'm so unbelievably angry at the thought; this is the perfect excuse for Jake to dump her ass, and yet I feel as if I want to fucking scream, all I can see is red. For the first time ever, I really want to hit Edward, and not just to piss him off. I want it to hurt.

"You fucking asshole," I hiss at him, hearing the drone of the television in the background. He still looks confused. Surely, he's heard that Jake is dating Jessica. How can he not understand why I'm so pissed? Then again, I don't exactly understand why I'm as livid as I am…but he should; he knows what I'm like. My voice remains low, despite my anger. This always happens, the angrier I am, the quieter I am, and right now, I'm snarling in a whisper. "Don't even act like you don't know you're fucking Jake's girlfriend, you prick. I knew you were a manwhore, but I thought you would have the brains not to fuck someone who's taken, especially when that girl happens to be with a guy who is more than happy for an excuse to kick your ass and has a lot of back-up."

"What-," He murmurs, running a hand through his messy hair, tugging on the strands. My stomach flips as I watch him make the familiar nervous gesture, a wave of calm washes over me and my vision comes slightly back into focus. "Jessica isn't-"

At the mention of Jessica, the calm feeling fades and the rage returns.

"Bull shit," I interrupt whatever excuse he was about to use in a low voice, full of menace. "I walked in on the two of them making out yesterday. He told me he's been dating her for four months. You can't honestly expect me to believe you didn't know. Everyone knows everything in Forks. There's probably some sort of a report on the city hall bulletin board of every time anyone takes a shit."

His eyebrows furrow and he glares at me sharply.

"Believe whatever the fuck you want, Bella, but I don't fuck women who aren't single. I have plenty of available bitches to sleep with."

"Good," I snap, softly. "Then you won't mind giving up one of those bitches. Jessica is off-limits; tell her to hit the fucking road and maybe I won't tell Jake."

Wait…what did I just say? Why wouldn't I tell Jake? Jake's my best friend. I need to tell Jake, but I don't want to. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Fine, she fucking squeaks anyway and I don't give a fuck if you tell him. I'll take him and all of his stupid fucking friends. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Yeah, and if I remember correctly, it took five stitches to close up your head, or so I heard," I reply, my voice trailing away near the end as I recall hearing about the incident from my dad.

That particular fight was between him and Paul, over Edward sleeping with Paul's cousin, Jared and Embry took a few swings at him though. Yeah, its true Jake himself didn't throw any punches, but that might be just because he was with my dad watching the game when it happened. He claims he didn't even know about it until afterwards. I don't know how Jake would react to this news. He can be volatile at times, but I've never seen him in an intense fight and I've also never known him to date a girl for as long as he's dated Jessica. All I know is that I don't want Edward's health on my conscious and I don't want to be responsible for breaking Jake's heart.

"I'm not telling him and you won't either, just get rid of her," I declare, walking away with a deep sigh.

I barely make it to the hall when I hear Emmett's voice, loud and boisterous, echoing off the walls.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Both Edward's head and mine snap to the living room, where the news is playing, but no one is watching it. Rose has retreated into one of the bedrooms and Emmett is staring at Charlie, who's holding his lottery ticket and gazing at it in complete wonder, frozen. He mumbles softly under his breath, and I can't hear him at all.

"What is it, Dad?" I ask, in hopes of clarification.

"He won," Emmett answers and in shock, all the air leaves my lungs in a rush.

**See, like I told you, interesting. Now, before any of you ask, no, no one overheard Edward and Bella's conversation. As Bella said, the angrier she gets the quieter she gets and Edward...well, I don't know why he was so quiet- shock maybe, confusion? Moving on...due to my recent bout of insanity, my doctor claims I need reviews in order to improve my mental health. So I'm going to need you all to comply to my doctor's strict orders so I can finally get out of the cell with all the lovely padding. Although, I do have to admit it is fun hugging myself all day in that cozy jackets they gave me...=D**


	6. Getting Burnt

**Alrighty, I have a few announcements to make before I release you to read the new chapter. **

**The first announcement is that apparently Wednesday update day has been increasingly difficult for me to hit. With all the stuff happening lately, I've been getting epic writer's block, but good news is that it lifted today. I don't know if the newly returned writing bug will continue to bite, but we can hope. Anyway, since I've been having trouble updating every Wednesday, some of you are getting worried and I want to let all of you know that I'm not giving up on writing and I have no intention to give it up anytime soon. I will continue to post as often as I can and I'm doing a good job of posting once a week actually, it's just not consistently on the same day now. I will be trying my best to get back on schedule, I'm not making any promises though. Of course, if you'd like, you can follow me on twitter, I go by Pbroken23 on there and I'll attempt to keep everyone up to date on when you can expect the next chapter and if I'm having writer's block. **

**Moving on, I am happy to announce that I am currently nominated for several Sunflower Awards. If you could vote for me at thesunflowerawards(.)blogspot(.)com (Make sure to remove the parenthesis), I would be eternally grateful. I've been nominated for awards a few times, but I never seem to win so maybe we can make it happen this time. **

**Last, but not least, for those of you who don't know, there are now banners for some of my stories on my profile page (ones I have made and ones other people have made). Feel free to check them out. Whew! That's it for announcements, now I release you like a dove into the air. Lol Just kidding, read the damn chapter! Lol Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but I'm just as anxious for Dirty Edward as the rest of you are! Hopefully, soon I'll have lemons to share. If not, I might write a one shot to tide us all over. Enjoy and please review! **

**Chapter 6**

**Getting Burnt**

"The fire you kindle for your enemy often burns yourself more than them"~ Chinese Proverb

**EPOV**

Three million dollars, I must be dreaming. Leave it to Charlie to win three million dollars and not shove it in everyone's face. I think Emmett seemed more ecstatic then Charlie did. At one point, he streaked around the fire building in celebration and Charlie glared at him and told him to stop acting like a dumbass. That's Charlie. Three million dollars... Sure, it's a small jackpot, but to someone who doesn't care that much about money, like Charlie, it might as well be 30 billion dollars. He's a smart man and he won't waste it, at least I don't think he will. I guess I'll find out soon enough. He said that he's going to make an announcement tonight at the Friday weekly meeting. I'm not sure what it is he's going to say. Maybe he'll tell us all that he's going to buy himself a new fishing boat, invest a million dollars, and give the rest of the money to charity. For someone like Charlie that makes perfect sense. He's one of those guys that just wants to relax and enjoy life.

I look up at the clock, it's a quarter past six, which means the off duty crew will be here soon, and I have to go down to the local pizza joint and pick up dinner. Leaning forward, I shut off the television and I suddenly feel as if I'm being watched. I peek through my peripheral vision to see that Bella's looking over at me with an almost quizzical expression, her eyebrows scrunched slightly, and her head resting on her hand. She and Emmett have been playing a heated game of scrabble, but her eyes aren't on the board, they're clearly on me. Weird…I'm not sure how long she's been looking at me. She was downstairs with her father for almost an hour before starting the game of scrabble with Emmett twenty minutes ago so I know she wasn't watching me prior to that, but I've been concentrating on the television and I haven't been paying attention to her and Emmett so I don't know if this was a fleeting glance or what. It does give me a sense of satisfaction though and I have no idea why.

"Boo yah!" Emmett hollers, shifting his attention from the letters on his tray to the board, placing down a few tiles. Bella's eyes immediately turn to his, and as I grab my keys off the table, I notice a soft blush flushing her cheeks. The color is sort of nice on her. I don't remember ever seeing her embarrassed to the point of blushing before. My insides pool with a strange warmth and I wonder, for the billionth time, what she's thinking. Why was she staring at me the way she was? "Triple word score on queef, 52 points."

The warm sensation in my gut is extinguished, and I rush for the stairs.

"Queef isn't a word, Emmett," Bella says with a scoff.

"It is to a word! It's a vaginal fart," Emmett counters and I can hear their laughing all the way down to the first floor.

The sound of their joy causes my familiar irritation to replace the warmth I was feeling moments ago. I don't understand how Bella can enjoy Emmett's company so much. In school, she never hung out with anyone so I always assumed she just preferred to be alone rather than associate with people that aren't a part of the Quileute tribe. Now that I know that's not the case, I can't help contemplating why she likes being around Emmett. Sure, he can be smart when he wants to be, but normally he's just a big joker. Does she like that? Does she get some sort of an ego trip out of being the smart one?

My phone goes off and I pull it from my pocket. I already know who it is- Jessica. I texted her last night and told her that we're done. Not because Bella has control over me, she doesn't, but I owed her a favor and besides, I was ready to let Jessica go anyway. I have to admit it felt good to have an excuse rather than having to tell her that I was bored of her. Ugh…more naked pictures. They're all of her sprawled across her mattress with her haphazard yellow sheets. She has a mirror above her bed so it's easy for her to take pictures like this. Her body is covered in a sheen of sweat with this wild sex hair, and in the reflection I can see a pair of guys clothes on the floor…wow, apparently Jessica doesn't realize how incredibly unsexy that is, to have pictures of her naked after she's obviously finished having sex moments ago. Yeah, because I really want to hit Jacob's sloppy seconds**¡ **Wait…I take a closer look and notice that the clothes are ones that I've seen before and not on Jake. Those are Mike's clothes! Yuck! How many fucking people is this hoe sleeping with? Thank god, I always wear a condom.

I stop at the foot of the stairs and type out a quick text to her.

_Tell Mike the meeting starts in 45 minutes so he had better get his ass down here. Also, stop calling, texting, and for the love of all that's holy, don't send me any more pictures. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little._

I send the message and make my way to the parking lot. To get to the exit, I have to stroll down a small hallway that's lined with three doors, on the right is a bathroom and janitor's closet, and on the left is the Chief's office. This was all part of the expansion process that the station went through in my senior year of high school. Along with this section, three more roll-up doors had been added, one on the opposite wall of the existing door and two opposite each other next to it. Now when we have all the doors open it's kind of like a tunnel through the station. As I walk, I think about how much the place has changed, and yet it doesn't seem to have changed at all, to me it still feels the same-like home. Then again, it could just be that I have such a strong tie to this building and my work. I'm used to things; I'm comfortable with the way they are.

"Edward, my boy!" Charlie calls for me, tearing me from my thoughts. His office door is open and he waves me inside. "Shut the door behind you."

I do as I'm instructed and he points to the free seat in front of his desk, I sit. Slowly, he rustles through some papers with a tiny, almost invisible, smile on his mustached face. He's quiet for a few moments, which is very normal for Charlie.

"I was just thinking," he starts. "About how wonderful it's been having you around here. It seems like just yesterday I was working with your dad. He was one of the best firefighters I've ever worked with, and you're mother was a talented EMT. I don't know if you ever knew that she started that way, she only took on firefighting after your dad got his transfer to Chicago. I'm sure she was spectacular at it though. Both Alice and you have firefighting in your blood, and it shows, especially in you."

He sets a piece of paper down and I notice what it says. It's a transfer paper…my heart drops into the pit of my stomach and my hands start to sweat.

"He was so excited when the transfer went through. I would have never dreamed of forcing guilt on him in order to make him stay and as much as I enjoy having you here, I won't do that to you either. Anyway, I'm sure you know that a lieutenant position is going to be opening in Port Angeles at the end of the summer and as much as I hate to admit it, even the lieutenant there makes substantially more than I do. I talked to Carlisle and Esme about the job. Did they mention it to you?"

"Yes, sir," I say, chocking on my words. I feel like I can't breathe. I don't want to leave, he can't make me, but the thing is he can. He's chief and he can threaten my job unless I go. I don't know if he will, but it's possible. "But I'm happy here."

"You do realize that it's an excellent opportunity- a once in a lifetime opportunity- that could lead to a job in Seattle or even Chicago if you wanted to move back. I want to be sure you know what you're turning down."

His face is serious now and I know that he's pushing me to make a decision. Charlie's not the type to force his opinion on others though. To be honest, I'm not even sure I can tell what his opinion is. It seems like he wants me to stay, and on the other hand, he wants me to go. I think he just wants what's best for me. The thing is I don't think this transfer is what's best for me. I'm…happy here. I don't want to change things; I don't want to meet new people. I know it sounds strange because it's not as if I have anything really going for me here. Yeah, sure, I have my family, but no friends my own age, well, unless my close bond with my sister and somewhat forced friendship with Jasper count.

Nevertheless, there's this feeling I have in my gut that's holding me here, this voice in the back of my head telling me that I haven't found my reason for staying, but that I will. This is where I belong. That's exactly what I told Carlisle and Esme when they brought it up. I even said to Esme that Forks has grown on me. She seemed unsure of whether to be happy or not when I said that. She also gave off this vibe of having something else on her mind, but I honestly couldn't see through my hot headedness to be sure.

"You may want to think about it a little more. Maybe you'll decide you want to explore the world, meet a nice woman who you could commit to. I know the pickings here are a little slim for you."

Slim? No, they're not, I have plenty of women to pick from…I can't think of their names at the moment, but there are plenty. Yeah, plenty, and who cares about commitment. I don't want commitment. I'm 22 years old; I don't need to be attached to anyone.

"You're still young; you have the chance to leave. Me, I'm tied to Forks, I have a wife and a daughter here, great friends. This is the only home I've ever known and I could never dream of leaving it, leaving them, not for anything in the world."

"This is my home too," I blurt out. "And I don't want to leave it, Charlie. Don't make me."

"Edward, Edward," he says, shaking his head as a smile takes over his face. "I would never make you leave. You're like a son to me. I just had to make sure this place is what you wanted. I needed to be sure. Bella went out into the world and she came back, and I'm positive it would take a big change to get her to leave again as well. With that said, I know you two don't always see eye to eye, but I'm going to need both you and her to learn how to cooperate and work together and you can't do that if you're always at each other's throats."

Blah, blah, blah, Bella this and Bella that. I thought we were talking about me. My skin burns with a fiery heat. What the hell does Bella have to do with my decision to stay? It doesn't matter if I have to work with her; we have Charlie to keep us in check. It's not as if I'm her superior or something…holy shit. Is that why Bella was looking at me so weird, is Charlie promoting me above her?

The words are out of my mouth before I even know it.

"Sir, are you-, are you retiring?"

His smile grows wider.

"If I am, I won't be making the decision on my successor. The crew would vote on it, and despite the fact that you're an amazing firefighter, the rest of the crew, excluding Alice and Jasper, don't think too highly of you. I would change that if I were you," he says, his smile dropping a little as his eyes drift away. "Now I believe you have some pizzas to go get. I'll see you up at the meeting."

All the way to the pizza shop and back, I can't stop thinking about what Charlie said to me. I have no doubts that Forks is what I want, but would I really be able to stay if Bella became chief? There's no way that I could handle being bossed around by her all day...Wait a minute, it could end up being someone else. Bella is new here, I can't suspect a lot of the crew will vote for her, despite all the expertise she gained in Phoenix. Just because she might be good at what she does doesn't make her the best choice for chief. Lets see, Emmett will vote for her, that's a given, and Mike and Tyler will vote for her too because they're suck ups and they think she'll open her legs for them. Bella will probably vote for Emmett because she won't want to seem narcissistic. As for Rose, she'll vote for herself. Alice and Jasper will vote for me and I'll vote for me. Damn it, so we'll be tied, unless…

The moment Mike arrives to the fire station, I manage to pull him aside. It's easy enough to get him to vote for me once I tell him about Jessica's newly discovered boyfriend. Mike hasn't been on the best terms with Jacob Black in the past. I know, it's dirty politics, but I can't stay in Forks if I have to work under Bella.

The clock chimes at seven as everyone takes a seat at the table. Dozens of hands dive for the pizza except Bella's and mine, we're too busy sizing each other up to eat. Bella's leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed and her lips pursed and I'm leaning forward, my hands clasped together firmly on the surface of the table. The two of us are locked so hard into our gaze that neither of us notice when the meeting starts. We only manage to focus in when Charlie makes his big announcement.

"…so I'm going to pay off my house, put my money into savings, and retire as chief to spend more time with my wife."

There's a commotion around the table, and my suspicions are confirmed about Bella when she doesn't even flinch at the news. He let it slip to her earlier, just as he let it slip to me.

"Quiet down, quiet down," Charlie orders as Alice glares heavily at him. Leave it to my sister to be the most pissed off person in the bunch and jump in with her two-cents.

"I would just like to point out that I don't fully agree with this. We should let things happen as they're supposed to." There's a pause as Alice looks at me and back to Charlie, her tone becoming soft. "If you go through with this, _if you retire_, we'll never know if we pushed fate and made something happen that wasn't supposed to happen yet."

"That's enough, Alice. The choice has been made. It's already in motion," he announces and Alice looks at me again. I shrug. I don't get what her deal is; doesn't she realize what this could mean for me? "We're going to put the decision of my successor to a vote. You don't have to give explanations, but I want everyone to vote how they truly see fit."

From his position at the head of the table, he turns his head to Emmett at his left. As I suspected, Emmett votes for Bella. Next is Tyler who also votes for Bella, he says her name while winking at her. Big shocker**¡ **Earth to Tyler! She's not going to sleep with you, dumbass…whatever. After Tyler is Mike who receives a few shocked looks when he says my name and then, there's Bella, who does the one thing I didn't expect, she votes for herself. With that side of the table finished, it moves to my side. I vote for myself and Alice votes for me, although she practically whispers my name under her breath as if she really doesn't want to. I'll have to talk to her about that later. Just what I need, my own sister doubting me**¡** Thankfully, Jasper votes with more certainty, giving me a slight nod when he says my name. It's possible he's brown nosing me. We aren't super close and he really likes Alice. Doesn't matter, I got the vote either way. Finally, we reach the end of the table and I know I won since Rose will predictably vote for herself. My stomach does flips as triumph floods me. I'm chief…I'm…

"Bella," Rose says the name and my mouth drops.

You're shitting me?

The room is silent and my head is swimming. All I can register is the grin that curls from ear to ear on Charlie's face.

"Alright then, it's a tie. That means that until the end of July, Bella and Edward will work closely as temporary joint lieutenants under my instruction. During which time, they'll have all the responsibilities of chief to determine who is better qualified. When the summer is over another vote will be cast, and my successor will be chosen. Meeting adjourned!"

What? I'm going to be working side by side with Bella? No way! I had it all planned. I should have won! Damn it all to hell!

**As Nelson from The Simpsons would say 'HA HA!' And the plot thickens! Mike's sleeping with Jessica, Rose voted for Bella, and Charlie is acting like fucking Confucius. Lol What will happen next?...I'm not sure, but I'm always open to hear your thoughts. Confucious say person who leave review most likely to not get kicked in face. Jeez...Confucious is mean. I think you should do what he says. **


	7. A Fiery Thought

**The end of this chapter makes me so ridiculously happy. I'm sure you'll understand why when you read it and you also may just forgive me for the long wait for this chapter. =D Just two announcements to make before I set you loose. The first is that I am very pleased to say that Walking Out of the Still Life is nominated for Best Shock Value in the Avant Garde Awards! YAY! You can vote for it at theavantgardeawards(.)com (Be sure to remove the parenthesis). The second announcement is to remind everybody that I'm also up for several awards in the Sunflower Awards including ****Best Edward for Walking Out of the Still Life, Best All Human Story for Walking Out of the Still Life, Best Lemon Pie Story for Colliding with Fate, Best One Shot for Need, and the coveted MASTER OF LEMONS award. If you vote for me at thesunflowerawards(.)blogspot(.)com (Remove parenthesis) I will love you long time. =D ****Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but Dirty Edward gives me very happy thoughts. Enjoy and please review!**

**Chapter 7**

**A Fiery Thought**

"A thought often makes us hotter than a fire."~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

**BPOV**

If someone had told me exactly what I was going to be returning to in Forks, I never would have believed them. When I made the decision to come home, it was under the notion that I was going to be working with my dad and spending time with Jake. Now, I have regrettably discovered that isn't the case. Dad is retiring, every time I call Jacob to see if he wants to hang out he tries to push Jessica on me, and starting tomorrow, Tuesday, I begin my training with Edward. The only good thing that has come out of all this is that if I beat out Edward for the position of chief, I'll have authority over him. That oddly thrills me, and at the same time scares the shit out of me.

I can see it already, me sitting behind my father's desk, Edward on the other side, a fake mask of calm on his face as I grin triumphantly at him. My stomach does a little flip and cringe at the image. Prior to Friday, I would have figured that anyone considering me chief material was insane, but now, I don't know, perhaps those people are right in wanting me. I'm good at what I do, I'm smart, and after all, Rose voted for me. Although, she could have done that to piss off Edward, I'm not sure. Whatever the reason, Chief is a real possibility for me now. For the past 22 years, I've been under the control of others- parents, teachers, and bosses. My curiosity is peeked at the thought of me being in charge of something greater than myself.

Before the meeting, Dad had planted the idea of chief in my head and despite the fact that it had more power over me than I thought; I managed to react to his retirement very badly. In fact, I pushed a bunch of papers off his desk, and he probably spent a lot of time sifting through them and reorganizing them. I feel bad about that. Unfortunately, I can't go back and change the past.

No, can't change the past, only the future and I'm uncertain of the future as it is. Some people have a general idea of what they want- a family, a nice house, a great job. I've never really considered any of that. I've always just lived in the here and now, never contemplating that things will change, but they are changing even at this very moment as I'm moving my boxes into the Marks' old place.

"Where do you want your books, Bella?" Mom asks, pushing three large boxes through the front door on a dolly.

I didn't ask her to help me move, but that didn't stop her from tagging along with me anyway. My mom has a habit of hovering. I take the dolly from her and roll my eyes. She really shouldn't be moving these boxes- they're heavy. I wheel the dolly across the hardwood floors of the living room and slide them off against a wall with a bit of maneuvering. Normally, I'd put my books in my bedroom so they would be close when I feel the urge to grab one right before bed. The bookcase won't fit this time though, not with my queen size bed, long wooden dresser, and nightstand. My new house is quaint, okay, small- 800 square feet to be precise. Yet Mr. and Mrs. Marks lived here for nearly 3 decades, even raising two boys in the tiny second bedroom that could pass for a large walk-in closet so I'm sure I'll manage. They moved out only two weeks ago, wanting to live closer to their grand kids in Minnesota. When Dad heard the house was up for sale he called me first thing. Mom told me that Mrs. Marks actually cried when she handed over the key. I'm glad I wasn't there for that, when people cry it makes me feel incredibly awkward.

"Well, here's the last box," Mom announces, placing down a box marked 'DVDs' on my comfy, green sofa.

She turns to me and I see the tears coming from a mile away or more accurately, a few feet away. She wraps her arms around me, sobbing softly and my body goes stiff. I pat her back a little while I internally groan, hoping she'll stop soon. Thankfully, she does.

"I'm only three streets away so you best visit me, young lady," she says, pulling away. "Or I'll show up here unannounced, barge in, and if you're in the middle of riding cowgirl style on some hot beefcake so be it. I'm your mother and I won't go ages without seeing you again."

"Mom!" I cry out in disgust, recalling the time my mother walked in on Quil and I in that exact predicament. That's why we started going to First Beach instead of him showing up at my house.

I can feel the heat flooding my cheeks, my face burning with embarrassment. It's rare when something can make me blush. It only happens when I'm truly and utterly embarrassed, like on Friday when Emmett almost caught me staring at Edward. He wouldn't have understood it if I had been forced to explain why I was looking at him like that. I don't even know why I was looking at him like that. It has to be because I've gone so long without sex. Once I have sex again, I won't think he's so damn hot anymore.

"Oh, we all do it, Bella. Why, just last night your father and I-"

"La, la, la, la! I'm not listening!" I sing, instinctually plugging my ears and cutting her off. A few second pass, her lips stop moving, and she smiles- reminiscing. Gross, gross, gross! I pull my fingers out of my ears and shoo her to the door. "I'll visit, Mom, I promise, and I'll call first, maybe a few times just to make sure."

I see it in my head without wanting to- my parents naked, in bed. My whole body shudders. Ew!

"You better, your father sometimes likes to show up on his lunch breaks and-" I push her lovingly out the door as I growl and she laughs. "Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too, devil woman. Now leave so I can find some brain bleach."

She laughs all the way to her car and we wave at each other as she drives away. I still can't get the image of her and my dad out of my head as I shut the door behind me. It makes me wish she'd just kept crying.

Eventually, I'm able to forget about my parents' sex life, and I manage to spend the rest of my day unpacking with nothing on my mind except what goes where. Before the sun even sets, I'm completely situated and I take a quick walk through. I stand at the front door, admiring the green couch and end table to my left. They're placed against the wall, the table right next to the door and the couch resting between the two windows that face the front of the house. Along the wall just opposite of the couch is the entertainment center with the television and DVDs, and in the far corner, is my bookshelf, crammed full of books. Surprisingly, it all fits nicely, even more so because the walls are a pale green so they match my furniture.

I walk down the short pathway from the front door, underneath an archway and into the pastel blue kitchen where the two-person table I have rests beneath a window with a view into the back yard. To my left is a narrow space lined with light oak cabinets on both sides. In the middle of the right side is a stainless steel sink. My new white fridge and stove, the ones Dad installed yesterday while whispering a string of curses, are placed at opposite sides on the far end, and centered on the blank wall that rests between them is a window. Since this is the last house on the street, the only thing that's visible through it is a forest of trees.

I back track through the archway and turn into a hallway, painted the same light green as the living room. There are two doors on either side of the hall. On the right, is the linen closet and second bedroom, which I'll never use. I stashed some extra boxes in the closet in there. The only rooms I truly care about are on the left- a bathroom and my bedroom. After a long day of lifting, opening, organizing, and cleaning, I just want to take a shower and go to bed.

As I step into my room, I strip out of my clothes and toss them on my bed, that's jammed into the right hand corner of the room. I put it there so that I could have my dresser on the left wall and have a couple feet of open space to walk around in. It works out because now the bed isn't blocking the one window in the room on the right wall. My nightstand sits beneath the window instead. I check the time on the clock that's there. It's barely 8 o'clock and I'm ready to sleep. Wow, I'm a loser. Screw it; I don't care. Sweaty and tired, I hurry to the bathroom and start the shower.

It takes forever for the water to heat up, a good 10 minutes, but when I step into the shower it doesn't matter. I breathe a deep sigh. The water feels amazing on my sore muscles and I savor it. Taking my time, I wash my body, and while lathering the shampoo in my hair, I start to feel like myself again, the energy returning to me. Well, that is until the water stops working. One moment, I'm lathering my hair, the next the water is out, and I'm standing in a dry shower. What the fuck do I do?

Wrapping myself in a towel, I rush to the sink and turn the faucet…nope, no water.

"Come on…no, no, no," I groan to myself and walk quickly into the kitchen to try that sink. Nothing comes out when I turn the handle and I turn it back to the off position just as soap drips into my eyes. "Son of a bitch!"

Using my hands, I rub my eyes to try to get them to stop burning; it's not working. It's not working at all. The stinging pain is intense and before I know it, I'm racing out the front door, blindly feeling my way through the grass to the Wilkinsons' place next door. After stubbing my toe on the porch twice, I'm able to maneuver myself up the steps as I feel the tears beginning to run down my face. Thank god, the Wilkinsons' are an elderly couple who don't bother with Forks gossip. They won't go blabbering about me crying to anyone. I have a reputation to uphold. I don't cry in public. I rarely even cry when I'm alone. It's not something I do. With uncertainty in my movements, I lift my hand and knock on the door, hard and frantic.

"Mr. Wilkinson!" I call out through my sniffles. I feel like my retinas are being charred to a crisp. "Mrs. Wilkinson!"

I hear the sound of a door opening and the pain makes it impossible for me to think. I rush pass a warm body into the house that I have only been in once before. That was when I was ten and Mrs. Wilkinson offered me a glass of juice. I feel my way to the kitchen in the back right side of the house while I mumble apologies through my tears.

"I'm so sorry about this. I was in the shower and my water went out, and god, my eyes are burning…UGH!"

I feel more tears cascading down my cheeks. I hate this, this feeling of vulnerability and shame. My cheeks flame to the same intensity of my eyes. I locate the faucet and when the rush of water tells me it's working, I place my head under it, rubbing and scrubbing feverishly as snot, tears, and soap pour down the drain. I rinse out my hair and so slow that it's excruciating, my eyes burn less and less until I'm able to open them. Everything is blurry and it hurts, but I can see. I blink my lids, opening and closing them until the room around me focuses and a figure steps into the kitchen that is neither Mr. Wilkinson nor Mrs. Wilkinson. Fuck my life.

He tosses a towel in my direction and I wipe off my face, noticing the kitchen, the corny wallpaper with roosters is gone, replaced by a soft cream-colored paint, and the tacky laminate floor is now a gorgeous brown tile. How long the Wilkinson's haven't lived here I have no clue…but it's been a while, that's obvious. My heart hammers in my chest as I grip tightly to the towel around my naked body. However, it appears I have nothing to worry about; Edward's eyes are firmly planted on my face, looking curiously at me, almost as if he's never seen someone cry. I can tell he feels sorry for me, his gaze says that. It also says he doesn't want to be mean to me, he's trying to be nice, and all it does is make me mad.

I rub nervously at my face with shame and anger. The way he's staring at me…he's not allowed to pity me, not after all these years of cruelty, not just because I happen to have shed tears. The fact that I didn't cry before doesn't mean the things he's said to me in the past haven't hurt. I want to say something, anything to get that expression off his face. It turns out I don't have to though.

"Goodness, Bella, are you alright?"

I hear the voice, and my eyes move to a separate entrance into the kitchen, one that leads to a hallway, standing there is Maria Valderez. We had English together in high school. Her soft, flowing, black curls are messy and wild and her clothes appear to be thrown on. Looking over at Edward, I notice he is just as unkempt…I feel weird, sick actually. I can't help noticing how curvy she is, how tan her Latino skin appears, the perfection in her full pink lips, or her perky tits. I used to think she was an okay girl in high school; she was certainly nicer than her sisters were, and she kept to herself as I did. I remember in senior year when I heard Lucy, her sister who was a junior at the time, telling Lauren about a threesome she had with Edward and her other sister, Nettie, a sophomore. Those girls were trouble, but Maria wasn't, she was someone I might have considered hanging out with, had I found out what she was like sooner. I'm glad I didn't now, because I really want to kick her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply with a smile through clenched teeth, turning my attention to Edward again. He looks embarrassed and ashamed. Good. At least he's not feeling sorry for me anymore, that makes it easy to not feel bad about what I'm going to say. I look at Maria. "Just surprised to see you here, I would think that sleeping with a man who slept with both your sisters at the same time would be a little awkward for you, but you know to each their own."

The look on her face tells me all I need to know. I figured that her sisters wouldn't tell her and I was right. Score one for Bella Swan. I stomp out of the room, staring at the floor. I don't quite make it to the door before I hear Maria's screaming and the sound of a loud crash. I hope that whatever she broke was expensive.

When I get home, I change into nightclothes and crawl into bed. I'm exhausted, but I end up lying in bed awake. I can't stop thinking about Edward and Maria. How could a girl like Maria, a girl so much like me, ever fall for his crap? She's smart, so much smarter than that. At some point, my eyes finally close and I drift to sleep, only to find my thoughts extending into my dreams.

_I'm in my bed, but I have a strange feeling that it's not my bed, that it's Edward's bed. It smells like him that smoky, honey scent that's oddly familiar. Plus, not only does it smell like him, he's in the bed with me. He's positioned over me and we're naked, his body is shifting over mine and I'm sticky with sweat and incredibly pleased. Leaning forward, he peppers my neck with sloppy kisses and sucks my earlobe into his mouth. As I drag my fingers across his back, my skin tingling, he fills me repeatedly, and I feel drugged, high on him. He releases my earlobe and clutches my sides with his hands, whispering into my ear._

"_You want me to fuck you...you want to feel this, me buried inside of you, don't you, Maria?"_

_The happy high turns to a drugged rage as I scrape his back in anger, but it still feels so good. I can't help it. He feels so good, even though I hate him, even if I want to punch him. I don't want him to stop._

"_Don't stop, Edward, don't stop!" I scream, gripping his waist tighter with my legs as he thrusts back and forth. _

"_Just like that, Jessica," he groans. "God, I love how your pussy grips my cock."_

_I want to tell him to get the fuck off me, that I hate him, but I don't. I simply scream out for more._

"_Fuck me harder, Edward...ugh, I want more, more...fuck, Edward!"_

_My insides coil and curl as he reaches between us and rubs my clit in tight circles, thrusting more deeply into me._

"_You want me to make you cum, Lucy, I know you do. You want to cover my fucking cock with it and lick it off like the slut you are."_

"_Yes, yes...EDWARD!" I squeal, my hands clinging to his shoulders blades, my heels digging into the swell of his back. "Please! Oh, please!"_

_He leans back enough that he can look me in the face and grins, his eyes sparkling like emeralds in the moonlight. I feel him squeeze my hip and with my eyes firmly on his he pinches my clit and growls._

"_Cum for me, Nettie."_

"_YES!" I cry out his name and it's instantaneous, powerful. I literally shake with the force of my release, clamping down around him._

_The moment my grip on him loosens he pulls out and in a blur the scene shifts so that his fingers are curled into my hair and my mouth is wrapped around his cock. I suck him in, humming in approval as he tugs at the strands on my head, guiding me along._

"_That's a good fucking slut, make me cum...god, damn it...yes, UGH!"_

_My tongue twirls around the tip of him every time he pulls me up and he hits the back of my throat, making me nearly choke when he presses me down._

"_Perfect, your mouth is so fucking perfect around my cock...I'm so close. Don't stop!"_

_I cup his balls in my hand, rolling them, toying with them as he begins to swell on my tongue._

"_Shit...I'm gonna-, holy shit...BELLA!" He screams as I swallow the warm shots of cum that pour into my mouth._

I wake up with a sudden inhalation of air, my body covered in sweat, my hand beneath the cotton of my shorts, and moving feverishly. I'm too turned on to care about the fact that I was apparently masturbating in my sleep, I just want to cum. I twirl my fingers around my clit, soaked from the image in my dream and as I relive that last moment when Edward screamed out my name, my body quakes, a rush of warmth flooding my hand and thighs. I cum hard, the hardest I've ever cum in my life- at the thought of Edward.

**Mm...it was just a dream, Bella. A very naughty, wonderful dream. Hey, Bella, I would not say no to some Hate sex...just saying! =D Well, everyone feeling slightly less frustrated now? Good! Ready to leave a review and tell me how amazing it was? Of course you are! If not, you kind of have to do it anyway. You see, I have this condition, it's called needareviewitis and if you don't review, I'll die. I know, sad isn't it? Even worse, if you don't leave a review you could make yourself susceptible to stickupyourassitis, which is a terrible disease that makes people complete douche nozzles. LOL**


	8. HalfCovered Fire

**Okay, let me get this out of the way: I am so so so so so so so sorry. I know it's been a few weeks, but I have a good excuse handy. I got a part-time job and I am just SWAMPED. Seriously, I use the term part-time very loosely. I'm working Monday-Friday from 7:15 in the morning until the time that I'm finished which means I'm getting about 32 hours. Then, when I come home it's cooking, cleaning, and all my other chores. Unfortunately, this means the only day I have to actually sit down and write for any extended period of time is Saturday so I apologize for the wait, I really do. I'm going to try to still post every week, but sometimes it may be two weeks before a new chapter. Unless you wanna pay me $9 an hour to write for you, that's the best I can do. A few quick reminders I am still nominated for awards in the Sunflower Awards and the Avant Garde Awards so if you could take a few minutes out of your busy schedule, I would greatly appreciate it if you would vote for me. It would make me extremely happy to finally win an award. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but Dirty Edward is so cute when he's confused and dirty of course... Lol Enjoy and please review! =D**

**Chapter 8**

**Half-Covered Fire**

"Everything betrays us: voice, silence, eyes; half-covered fires burn all the brighter."~ Jean Racine

**EPOV**

"Fucking Bella, always ruining my life…who the fuck does she think she is?" I grumble to myself as I sweep up what's left of my coffee machine.

Who would have thought Maria had the balls and strength to chuck something like that? Not me, that's for sure. All I know is this leaves me one fuck and one coffee maker short. Couldn't Bella at least have waited until _after_ I'd fucked Maria prior to barging in and ruining everything? I let out a short, non-amused, laugh. The answer is of course no, this is Bella after all. I'm starting to think she has some sort of device that goes off every time I'm happy so that she can find me and eliminate whatever is putting a smile on my face. Okay, so that's ridiculous, but for Pete's sake what does a guy have to do to avoid getting cockblocked. I was in my own house, thoroughly enjoying myself with Maria and damn close to taking her, and out of nowhere, Bella shows up and manages to destroy a very lucrative evening.

I hiss out a breath as I stand. Now, thanks to Bella's interruption, I have a wicked case of blue balls and the possibility of me getting relief tonight is slim to none. While groaning under the pressure on my junk, I discard the broken pieces of white plastic and glass in the trash can. I consider scrolling through my phone to find another girl for the night and ditch the idea. I'm too pissed off to play nice guy, and besides, for some reason I really wanted Maria tonight. There's something about her that feels almost right, not quite, but almost. Anyway, the thought of having someone else doesn't seem as appealing so I'll just resolve the problem myself and go to bed. I'm about to shut off the light in the kitchen when out of the corner of my eye, I notice something on the counter- the cream-colored towel I grabbed for Bella.

With a sigh of annoyance, I reach for it and flip the light switch. It's not until I'm halfway down the darkened hallway to the bedroom when I smell something- the scent of a woman, of honeysuckle and strawberry. The sweet aroma is so unlike Jessica's cotton candy perfume and Maria's lavender body spray. It does things to me, it makes my mouth salivate, and my cock throbs against the zipper of my denim jeans. I stop cold on the hardwood floor, feeling the chill of it on my bare feet at the same time that heat courses through my veins, my heart pounding vigorously.

Without thinking, I lift the towel to my face and inhale a deep breath. My entire body shivers, goose bumps spread across my arms, my head spins. I see her in my mind, the tears streaming down her face, making her look breakable and yet somehow beautiful. There is recognition that this is not the Bella I know, the Bella who makes me feel like a boy instead of a man. She doesn't make me believe that I'm inadequate, that I can't possibly be as great as my dad was and there's no point in trying. This Bella is someone different, she is similar to the Bella I've known since I was twelve, strong and confident, but there is softness beneath the steel exterior that I have never seen before today.

I stumble into my room, breathing in the fabric like a junkie and when I lay down on the king size bed, I immediately reach for the zipper of my pants as if I'm somehow functioning on autopilot. It doesn't make sense to me, that the warmth is so overwhelming, and its power over me...it's more than I can bear. With my hand wrapped tightly around my length, I let myself drown in the sensation. I picture her in that purple towel that she came rushing over here in, her wet brown hair clinging to her face and neck. I recall the tiny slip that occurred, exposing one of her taut pink nipples, and I nearly choke on my own air supply.

"Holy…shit," I grunt out the words, grazing my thumb over the tip of my cock.

My insides twist as my hand slides along my skin, making every nerve end tingle with warmth. I feel dizzy with lust at the image of her silent tears falling down her cheeks, glistening in the light that leaked in through the window from the setting sun. The brightness of the artificial light above her practically made her alabaster skin glow and I wonder briefly, unabashedly, what it would feel like to touch that skin, curious as to how soft this strange Bella might be. With my eyes clamped tightly shut, I replay the memory of her scrubbing at her eyes, and the sound of her voice, groaning out in irritation.

"Oh god," I whisper under my breath as my toes curl and the warmth intensifies into a deep burn throughout my body- a suffocating, but wondrous feeling.

The sensation is not completely foreign to me; it's the same one I get whenever I run into a burning building, and I've long since associated it with fear and excitement. Why I'm feeling it now then, I'm not sure, but I don't care. All I know is the burn is exquisite and it only makes me move my hand faster. My insides scorch and a teary-eyed Bella consumes my thoughts while my breath becomes heavy, and suddenly, a growl erupts from my chest.

"Fuck!"

I grip my hair with my free hand, tugging at the strands all the while stroking my cock frantically. Within seconds, my eyelids flash a bright white, and a rush of fire goes from my toes all the way to the tips of my hair. My balls tighten, my cock stiffens, and the Bella in my thoughts blushes a bright red, her cheeks flaring with insecurity.

"Almost…so close, Bella," I pant in desperation, my hand pulling my hair hard as the rush of euphoria spills through me and I cum into my palm. "Jesus-, fucking-, Christ!"

Quickly, almost too quickly, the vision blurs and my eyes open. The smell of honeysuckle and strawberries curls around me in the dark and I gasp for air, both immensely satisfied and angry. I have no idea why I did that, what I was thinking. I blame my brief insanity on my blue balls and the womanly scent, tossing the towel into the corner of the room before I escape to my bathroom to wash away the evidence. The shower runs while I stand in front of the mirror, staring down my confused reflection.

"It's not the same Bella," I tell myself.

The Bella I fantasized about barely exists beneath the Bella I despise. It doesn't matter that some tiny part of her isn't a hard ass bitch. That doesn't change anything. I still hate her…at least most of her anyway.

I awake early in the morning to the sound of my alarm buzzing and while rolling out of bed, I notice the towel on the floor. It holds no power over me now that the scent's diluted, the fabric dry. I can't smell it from here. Still, I avoid it like the plague. I'm not sure what came over me last night, but I'm not going to let it happen again. At some point, I'll probably have to pick it up and wash it. That time is not now though. After getting dressed in my blue firefighter uniform and grabbing my backpack of clothes and toiletries, I drive the five minutes to the firehouse. I have no idea why, but the place is bustling when I get there.

"Edward!" Charlie hollers at me over the sound of the pressure washer, grinning. Emmett and Bella are scrubbing down the engines and her hair's dripping wet, sticking to her face like it was last night…my pants tighten slightly and I avert my gaze, pushing away the memory that my mind attempts to conjure up. Charlie doesn't notice, and I realize it's because he's been talking and I've been too busy getting a hard on at his bitch of a daughter who has managed to fuck with my mind. "...and as acting Lieutenants, you and Bella will be helping me out with them."

Shit…I have no idea what he's talking about, but he keeps looking at me as if he's waiting for a response. Oh, for fuck's sake, nod and smile, you idiot! I plaster a smile on my face and nod in agreement to whatever Charlie has suggested. I suppose I'll find out what he was talking about eventually.

It turns out that it happens sooner rather than later.

I'm lying on the couch in the lounge area mid afternoon, relaxing after an uneventful morning when Charlie comes into the room, followed closely by Garrett Knightly, age 17. Garrett was born in Minnesota and he moved here with his parents when I was still in high school. He has an older brother, Peter, who went to school with me, and despite the age difference, they look a lot like. They both got their mom's teal eyes and dad's blonde hair. The only real difference is Garrett's hair is more sandy-colored and Peter's was a silvery tone in school. Oh, and Garrett is built more like me- tone and lean. In his simple jeans and a black tee, I can see the muscles in his arms where as Peter was skinny at his age, he wouldn't have been able to pull off that look.

Charlie comes to a stop and turns to look at him and I notice Kate Denali, 17-year-old daughter of Eleazar and Carmen, trailing up the stairs and into the room behind Garrett. She scowls at him and he grins. I'm not sure I'll ever find out what that's about. With a glare in her electric blue eyes, Kate curls a piece of long, corn silk blonde hair behind her ear and straightens her blue tee over her jeans. The angry gesture reminds me of someone, but I can't figure out whom. I let the thought go as I try to figure out what Garrett and especially Kate are doing here to begin with. The Denali parents run the town's EMS squad and Kate's sister, Irina, who's a few years older than I am, is in line to take their place. Rumor has it that their cousin, Tanya, actually moved to town recently to help out with EMS after Kate decided not to join up as a trainee with them like the Denali's had all hoped she would.

"As you probably know, Edward was once a trainee like the two of you," Charlie talks in his authoritative, chief voice, and I bolt up into a sitting position, my eyes wide. Kate is a firefighter trainee…damn. The Denalis and fire crew have always been pretty cool with each other. I wonder how they must feel about this. Carmen and Eleazar are a lot like Charlie so I wouldn't doubt that they're probably sad, but proud to know that she's doing what she wants. That's exactly how Charlie felt when Bella moved to Phoenix. "However, that doesn't mean he's going to take it easy on you with your training. He'll start by showing you where the cleaning supplies are and Bella will be by to see how things are going in a while."

I watch as Garrett's smile falls away at the mention of cleaning and Charlie nods at me. That's when what he said clicks. This is what he was talking about this morning. He wants me to be apart of their training and this is my first opportunity to prove myself worthy of being Chief. Charlie walks away and I walk over to Kate and Garrett, trying my best to give off an air of authority and nonchalance when inside I'm happier than a nymphomaniac in a porn shop.

"Do you think there's something wrong with cleaning, Knightly?" I question his meek expression with an irritated tone, furrowing my eyebrows at him.

I'm attempting to be intimidating and it works. Even though he's the same height as me, Garrett shrinks back at my words. To be honest, when I first started, I hated the cleaning too until I realized why it's so important around here. Kate, raised the way she was, already knows why we clean, and it's my job to make him understand.

"Um…uh, no," Garrett starts and when I lift my eyebrows he adds, "Sir."

"Good because I was under the impression that every job here is important," I reply, noticing the way that Kate grins in my peripheral vision. She's enjoying watching him suffer. My gut twists as I remember who she reminds me of...unthinkingly, I turn on her. "And what's so amusing, Denali? You, of all people should know how serious- how important- this is."

She purses her lips, her eyes becoming soft, unreadable- like Bella's. If she'd show some emotion I could reign in my temper, that's slowly rising, but she doesn't and it's too much to see Kate acting exactly like the Bella I know so well and hate, the one I can't stand, who hurts me, and is seemingly unhurt by anything.

"Or did you skip out on that lesson like you did your family?" I add.

Her expression stays the same and after what happened last night it's enough to seriously piss me off. It's not fair. How is any guy supposed to deal with some girl making them feel like crap and not be able to tell her that it bothers him without making himself look weak? Even when he turns his hurt against her, she doesn't care. It's not right that she can make him feel terrible and he can't do the same to her…Why? Why does she have such clear access to his emotions and yet she's unbreakable? It's not fucking fair!

"Chill out, Hulk," Bella announces her presence behind me, and it takes everything in me not to growl at her like a rabid dog. She is no longer the vulnerable beauty she was last night. Stepping forward, she shoves a broom and mop into Garrett and Kate's hands, locking eyes with Kate. "Excuse him, he's an asshole."

She peers over at Garrett then, focusing her attention on him.

"Now, do you want to know why we clean, Knightly?"

He nods and without warning, she kicks the rolling water bucket into Garrett's legs, full of water, and he falls onto the floor with a heavy thud.

"That is why," Bella declares. "Because when you're running out of this place in a moments notice, you're not watching where you're going or what's going on around you and when there's spilled juice on the floor or clothes scattered about you fall and you get hurt."

Bella turns on her feet and gestures for Kate and Garrett, who's slowly pulling himself up, to follow, and just before they leave the room she catches my eye with a sharp glare and says. "It's good to know you're back to the same old Edward, last night I could have sworn you grew a conscience."

"Yeah, well I actually thought the wizard might have given you a heart, but we all make mistakes," I snap back and she places a hand to her chest, feigning hurt. It's not until she turns away that I notice a hunch to her shoulders and I hear the softest of sighs.

I spend the rest of the day stewing over what I said. The fact that I may have somehow done the impossible and hurt Bella's feelings is on the forefront of my mind. What I don't understand is why I feel bad about it. I watch the trainees scrub the floor and they bicker almost as bad as Bella and I do and it makes me wonder if maybe some people are programmed to hate one another. I mean anyone would think that Kate- headstrong, smart, and friendly- would get along with Garrett, who's as intelligent as she is, but insecure, and lonely. They don't though, they just don't, and when I stop Garrett in the hall on his way out and ask him why he hates Kate, he surprises the hell out of me.

"I hate her because it's easy," he answers, shifting his eyes to the ground.

"What?" I ask, hoping for clarification, but there is none. He simply shakes his head.

"I-, just-…ugh, Can I please go home, Sir?"

"Um, yeah," I concede, stepping to the side to give him some room to pass me. "Sure, get out of here."

As he walks away, I wonder if it was some half-ass answer he gave to get me off his back or if there's any truth to it. Can you hate someone just because it's easy?

**Well, there you have it a new chapter. Anybody got something to say, anybody? Anybody? Step right up! It's quite an honest day so if anyone wants to tell me the truth of what you think, here's your sign! I just got done bitching my best friend's family out. She's practically my sister and she doesn't deserve their crap. BUT ANYWAY, now is the time to say what needs to be said...I AM AWESOME...yeah, you can go ahead and put that in your review. I also suggest you add in a few 'You rock my socks!' and 'Your Dirty Edward is amazing!' I won't mind, I promise! =D **


	9. Heartless Stone on Fire

**Wow...this chapter earns Hot Mess it's genre category. It is Drama with a capitol 'D'. Anyway, moving on, apparently the third time is not a charm because I didn't win any awards in the Sunflower Awards. =( Oh well! Just so you know, there's still time to vote in the Avant Garde Awards (the rest of the day to be precise) so if you have time to vote at avantgardeawards(.)com, I would appreciate it immensely. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but even when these two are mean it's hot.  
**

**Chapter 9**

**Heartless Stone on Fire**

"When fire is applied to a stone it cracks."~ Irish Saying

**BPOV**

I stare aimlessly into my bowl of frosted flakes, watching the milk devour the crunchy bits, pushing them under with my spoon. It's Wednesday morning and I don't feel right, I haven't felt right since Monday night when I had that dream about Edward. Something has changed. All I know is that every insult Edward throws my way hits me even harder than it did before. Hell, everything he does now pushes my emotions to the extreme. It's gotten to the point that I can't decide if I want to fuck him senseless, smack him around, or cry my eyes out. The worst part is that with all my thoughts on Edward I might have destroyed a great friendship I had somehow managed to build amidst all this drama. I wish there was a way I could turn back the clock and take back what I did last night…god, I really wish I could because I feel truly ashamed of myself.

_I lied back on the cool cement of the firehouse roof and peered up into the dark sky that stretched out above me. To my surprise, I saw millions of twinkling stars planted in the darkness. That's something that's rarely seen in Forks. It's not often that the clouds disappear and allow the stars to shine. Unfortunately, not even the beautiful stars could cure me of my sad mood. That's why I was up there of course, on the roof. It's where I go when I'm sad or angry or I just need to think. Since I became old enough to wander around on my own, it had been my me place and I never brought anywhere there, not Jake, or Quil- no one. At first, I kept it a secret because I didn't want anyone to know that I had found the key that Dad had lied about losing for years, and then, as time passed, it just seemed wrong to share it with anyone. This was where I brought my private troubles, and how could they be private if the place I pondered them in was not private as well?_

_Private...there's nothing I wanted to remain more private than the thoughts that were racing through my mind at that very moment. The day had been particularly rough, and I was depressed. Edward's words were haunting me. What did he mean by 'I actually thought the wizard might have given you a heart'? Could he possibly see me as heartless? Letting out a deep sigh, I turned my head to look at the small ledge that lay between a twenty-five-foot fall and me. Marked onto the cement there, in permanent marker, was something I had drawn when I was 14, and if I hadn't been so upset, the irony would have made me laugh- it was a small heart, barely noticeable really, and inside it was my name. I was upset though, so instead of finding the drawing funny it just pulled me deeper into my sadness. Any other 14-year-old girl would have put a boy's name inside of that heart, the name of a first boyfriend or a crush. I had neither at that age or at any age if I was being honest with myself. Quil was the closest thing I ever had to a boyfriend and I never felt anything more than lust for him. I'm pretty sure he didn't feel anything real for me either and I know I didn't feel anything for James, that was just a drunken one night stand in Phoenix. Not to mention it was terrible._

_As I lied there, sinking into my thoughts, I started to think that maybe Edward was right...maybe I am heartless. It's not as if I'd ever shared a lot of myself with anyone. My feelings for Jake are the most affectionate I could handle and look at what that had done to me. I couldn't buck up enough courage to tell Jake about Jessica cheating on him over fear of him hating me for it. What kind of friend doesn't tell their friend that their girlfriend's cheating on them? While considering this, I felt a few drops of wetness leak from the corners of my eyes. I had never felt more weak or undeserving. Maybe my 14-year-old self knew something I didn't. Perhaps I deserved to be alone._

_I clenched my eyes, forcing back the tears that wanted to continue to fall and when I opened them, I found that I was no longer alone. The sudden appearance of Emmett brought my heart to an abrupt, frightened stop. He had his eyes closed and he was grunting softly under his breath. No, he wasn't peeping on me; he was pulling himself over the wall- the wall that had nothing on the other side, well, except that lovely two-story fall onto the parking lot asphalt. I gasped and his eyes snapped open- he lost his concentration and fumbled. Time seemed to crawl as I watched his flexed arms crumble under him and I was on my feet in a second, racing the few feet to the wall. My hands grasped his just in time, and immediately, the muscles in my arms burned with the strain of Emmett's weight. I wished for the first time in a long time that I had gone to the gym instead of sitting on the couch reading on my days off. I was practically helpless as I watched his feet struggle to rest on the ledge of a window a few feet below. It took every ounce of my strength, but finally, I pulled hard and Emmett scrambled over the ledge, falling directly on top of me. _

_His weight rested almost fully on me and yet I managed to breathe heavily, sucking in the air of a cool April night as his chin rested against my shoulder, the heat of his warm breath hitting my neck. It seemed neither one of us had the strength to move. _

"_What the hell-, were you thinking-, climbing onto the roof-, like that?" I panted, wincing at the throbbing pain that continued to radiate through my arms. _

"_I was thinking-, it would go just as smoothly-, as the other hundreds of times I've done it-, since I transferred here," he replied, his sentence torn apart by deep breaths exactly like mine. _

_He leaned back with a grimace so that I could see his warm hazel eyes and his face morphed from discomfort to something else, something different. The expression reminded me of Edward because it's the same look he gave me when I saved him from Lauren Mallory, confusion and gratitude. At the thought of Edward, my breathing hitched and blood rushed heat through my body, warming my sore muscles and flushing my cheeks a soft pink. I noticed for the first time how close I was to a male body, that I could feel the pressure of a pelvis pressed to mine, and for the briefest moment, I involuntarily imagined that it was Edward's body lying atop mine, and a slight moan escaped me. It took only a millisecond before I realized what I had done, but it was already too late. My lips had closed the gap between us and Emmett released a surprised groan that turned deep and satisfied. There was no subtlety to the action, when Emmett slid his tongue along my lips and I let them give way without protest._

"_Fuck!" I cried out around his rough mouth, kissing him back with abandon, enjoying the way he felt, the way his hips ground into mine, and the grunting noises he made, my body screaming yes. "Oh god...so good!"_

_Then, out of nowhere, I felt a pang in my chest that stopped me cold. Yes, he felt amazing, his hands sliding along my hips, his body dry humping mine, but deep down something told me that this wasn't what I wanted, I didn't need another Quil, another guy who would cure my lust, but without the affection I suddenly craved. I don't know what came over me, but I found that I wanted to stop._

"_Wait...stop," I mumbled and he stopped immediately, though his hard length pressing against the fabric of his pants told me he didn't want to. "I can't. God, I want to, but I can't."_

"_Shit, you're right...I'm sorry, Bella. I just-, I wasn't thinking." He mumbled, concern on his face as he removed his hand from the place where it had been wandering under my shirt. He smoothed the fabric down in panic, glancing around as if he was worried someone saw him._

"_It's fine. It's just-, well, I don't feel right?" I said, the statement coming out sounding more like a question. "I mean, we're friends, good friends, and I don't want to do the friends with benefits thing, you know?"_

"_Bella, stop...I wasn't thinking about-, I'm not-, I have to go," Emmett blurted out and before I could say another word, he had pulled himself onto his feet and climbed back over the wall, disappearing into the open window below._

I look down into my soggy bowl of cereal and sigh. I feel dirty…and yet, I don't know…it felt good- maybe not emotionally, but physically, it was amazing. Still, I don't have feelings for Emmett, I know that, and judging from his abrupt departure and shady reaction, he feels the same as I do. We were both just stuck in the moment, well, that and I may have been imagining he was Edward the whole time. God…what the hell is wrong with me?

As I curse myself, I walk over to the sink and dump my bowl. When I turn around, Emmett nearly gives me a heart attack for the second time this week. He's leaning on the table with his overnight bag flung over his shoulder, facing my direction and staring at the floor. He looks nervous and maybe a little scared and just like that, he's my friend Emmett again, not the guy I made out with on the roof.

"Okay, you've got everything backwards, champ. You're supposed to be nervous before you make out with a girl not after," I joke, and his head lifts, his eyes leveling with mine. I crack a smile so that he knows I'm joking and he smiles back. We look at each other and I feel nothing, but friendship. This is Emmett and I am Bella and the two simply don't go together, not in that way. He cracks a smile.

"If anyone should be nervous it's you. I know how bad you want me, Bells," he jokes back, walking over to reach behind me, and place a piece of bread into the toaster.

"Oh, yes, that's it, Emmett. I want you, I need you, oh, baby, oh, baby," I say in a flat and monotone voice and we burst out laughing.

Emmett leaves soon after he stuffs his face and I wait in the lounge for the new shift to arrive. Today will be the first time I work with Tyler, Mike, Alice, and Jasper, and I have to admit I'm nervous. For one, I'm still kind of mad at Mike for voting for Edward and two, Alice is bound to be a complete bitch to me. As I watch the morning news, I notice Rose leaving in my peripheral vision. Neither of us acknowledges the other. I still haven't asked her why she voted for me and she hasn't brought it up, but I figure I might as well leave well enough alone. Either I'll find out why or I won't. The crew clocks in one by one, first Tyler, who nods in greeting and takes a seat on the other couch, and Mike, who after receiving an evil look from me, retreats from the seat next to me to the dining room table. Finally, Alice and Jasper walk in, hand in hand. It's not until they're right in front of me that I acknowledge the two exist however and that's only because they're both staring at me.

"What?" I ask with quite a bit of malice.

Alice harrumphs and Jasper nudges her and reaches out his hand to me.

"I know we haven't been properly introduced, although you've spent a lot of time with my sister. By the way, I apologize on behalf of anything she's done. Rose isn't very friendly. Anyway, I'm Jasper Whitlock Hale," Jasper greets me with that southern drawl of his, sounding all too much like an old-fashioned gentlemen. It makes it hard to hate him, no matter how much I hate his girlfriend.

"Bella Swan," I murmur, shaking his hand. "But I'm sure you already know that and I like your sister. At least she's honest about her feelings and doesn't try to fake nice around other people just because they want her to; you can't say that about a lot of people."

I stare directly at Alice as I speak and she blushes a delicate red.

"Well, you know me, I'm more than happy to tell you that you're a self-centered, pig-headed, bitch," Edward cuts in, stepping into the room. It appears he's finally dragged his ass out of bed and I can't help noticing how fine that ass is. In fact, I almost forget to scowl at him- almost.

He and Alice greet each other with one of their creepy twin smiles and he runs a hand through his hair. I could swear it looks even messier than normal. Heat floods me, my crotch throbs, and I really wish it didn't. I can't even look at him any more without my lady parts getting all hot and bothered. My thoughts flash to my dream and the way he moaned my name and I'm sure I'm about to start drooling. Thankfully, Dad chooses that exact moment to walk into the room.

"Good, everyone's here," he says and my eyes wander to the stairwell as a gorgeous strawberry-blonde woman steps into the lounge behind him. "Crew, this is Tanya Denali, the new recruit with Forks EMS. With Edward and Bella training for chief, we're going to need some extra help around so the ambulance crew has gratefully agreed to offer their assistance for this month."

I watch as the girl with the hourglass figure and long legs smiles at Edward and my blood boils in my body. I've never met her, I have no idea who she is, but in that second, I know that I hate her and even more, I hate myself for hating her. So what if she's looking at Edward, so what if he's now smiling at her with that crooked smile he always uses on hot girls. I shouldn't care, I don't care…I don't…I do. The words are out of my mouth before I know it.

"Jesus Christ! Why don't you two just fuck right here and get it over with? I'm sure we can all just work around you." I shout.

All eyes in the room turn to me and Edward looks at me with a deadly glare.

"You mean like you and Emmett on the roof last night, or like you and Quil on the beach at La Push. Oh and was that before or after he fucked you on the motorcycle? Some of us have more decency to do those things in private, where no one else can hear."

My cheeks flame with embarrassment and everyone stares at me with a look of distaste. Tanya smirks deviously, clearly pointing out that she wouldn't mind fucking Edward on the roof, the beach, or right here in front of everyone- the slut.

"Edward," Dad chastises Edward and then, me with a sharp disappointed look. "Bella,"

My eyes water. I didn't even do anything and yet I feel his disappointment in me. No one wants to hear about their daughter having sex so blatantly, especially finding out that I wasn't exactly quiet and here in the firehouse…well, that's like doing it under my parents' roof. It doesn't matter that I didn't actually do it, the fact that he thinks I did is bad enough and the stuff about Quil is true. I look around the room as my vision blurs and Edward peers over at me, his expression the same look of pity as Monday night and I break out into a fit of word-vomit.

"Not that it's any of your damn business, but I didn't have sex with Emmett and at least I don't fuck everything that walks. You can't keep your dick in your pants to save your life, Cullen. If your parents could know how much of a manwhore you are they'd be disgusted by you."

His eyes flash with anger and I know what I said was wrong, but I can't take it back, not now, not ever.

"At least I didn't leave my parents. Where were you when Renee had that tumor removed…oh wait, now I remember, you were in fucking Phoenix and they decided not to tell you because they thought it would worry your fragile little heart. Well, I guess they didn't have to worry about that, seeing as you have no heart."

The rage in me bubbles over pass the point of holding back and I can no longer hold myself together. As I feel a single tear drip from my eye, I crack.

"I may not have a heart, but I don't have kids either! Then again, neither do you. How is Charlotte doing anyway, Edward? Haven't heard from her since she got the abortion, have you?"

The room fills with a symphony of gasps and Edward looks at me with the deepest contempt. He didn't know that I knew, that I was there at the clinic in Port Angeles getting birth control, when she walked in, 16 and pregnant. Now he does, now everyone does, and I feel as heartless as he claims I am because she told me about Edward in confidence and from what she said he told her she should keep the baby, she was the one who wanted to get rid of it. I race out of the room, leaving behind the angry, shocked shouts of Alice, Charlie, and Edward. I never knew I could so cruel or that I could hurt this bad. The only comfort I have is that I'm not the only one that's heartless, we both are.

***GASP* Okay, careful now, breath in, breath out, that's it. You're going to be fine...probably, well hopefully...Lol Nothing in this chapter was planned. I winged it completely so if your mad, be mad at Bella. Everything that was written was her idea. And yes, I'm that pathetic that I blame it all on my character who basically lives inside my head. Lol Okay, yeah that sounded a little crazy. Whatever! Here's the part where you click that awesome review button and you tell me nice things that make the voices in my head happy. =D**


	10. Fire and Fire

**Yippie! It only took me 12 hours, but this chapter is finally done. Now, since I've spent my only day off without my husband home writing this, I need to go take a shower and clean up the house a bit...boo. Oh well, it was completely worth it. =D Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but boy, things are getting fiery and intense, geesh. I think we'll have a milestone next chapter by the way, NO, not a lemon, but maybe some beginner citrus...=D Enjoy and please review.**

**Chapter 10**

** Fire and Fire**

"Like fire and fire, we only create more flame and more destruction." ~Me

**EPOV**

The room explodes into a fit of shouts as Bella rushes towards the stairwell, but I can't understand what everyone else is saying because I'm still seeing red, my attention focused on her back.

"Yeah, run away like a fucking coward! That's what your good at!" I holler at her, my hands balling into fists.

I can feel the anger coursing through me, so much stronger than it's ever been. My curled up knuckles are turning white and going numb, my body aching for a fight. It takes all my self-control not to storm after her and release the pent up rage. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that she's a girl, especially in times like this. She's an irritating, heartless, terrible, impossible human being, yes, but still, she's a girl, and that's why I can't fight with punches and kicks. I have to fight with words, with underhandedness and cruelty, and so help me, I will get her back for this, no matter the cost. I glower at her retreating frame, watching her disappear into the stairwell, and as I force my feet to stay firmly planted in their place, the voices around me remain a distant hum.

I don't know how I ever could have confused Bella with someone caring, someone who might actually be decent under all her hate, and why, all because she had shed a few tears? It's clear to me now how different this Bella is from the one I conjured up in my mind only a few nights ago. That Bella would never do something so unbelievably harsh, but this is the real world, that was fantasy. It was only my imagination.

"Are you even listening?" Alice screams, pushing me on the shoulder- hard.

The movement catapults me back into the frenzy that's taking place and when I turn to look at her, I notice how red in the face she is. Her eyes are glaring daggers at me. She's furious. I've seen this look a thousand times and I can practically hear what she's thinking. She's angry that I never told her, that I kept Charlotte from her, and she wants to know why Bella knew and she didn't. It's not as if I told Bella though. I didn't tell anyone about that incident junior year. I don't know why Charlotte would, but she must have told her, the question is why and what made Bella think she had the right to stick her nose where it didn't belong in the first place. At least those are the questions running through my mind; Charlie has different questions all together.

"What were you thinking? Saying those things?" Charlie asks. Before I can respond, however, he holds his hand up to stop me from speaking. "It's-, it's inexcusable."

Everyone in the room stares at me and I feel suddenly defensive, standing there, surrounded by the rest of the crew. This is all Bella's fault. If she hadn't opened her big mouth, everything would be fine. Instead, I'm left trying to pick up the pieces of her outburst and the eyes of everyone on me finally drives me to say some not-so-smart things.

"No, it's your daughter who's inexcusable. You think she's this perfect little angel and she's not! She's a bitch, Charlie, and I'm sick and tired of her shit," I snap at him and his eyes widen in surprise and then narrow into tight slits.

"You, in my office, now!" Charlie growls at me in chief mode and walks towards the stairs without another word.

I scurry to follow him, my face burning with embarrassment as I leave behind a seething Alice. She'll want answers later. Answers that I'm not sure I'll be able to give.

When we get to Charlie's office, he slams the door behind me, and defeated, I take a seat in the chair opposite his own.

"How dare you make a scene like that in front of my crew? I should have you terminated…the both of you!"

I look up at him in shock and he continues, shouting into the small office.

"Oh, so you do listen? Well, perhaps you should have done that upstairs…the way the two of you acted was completely inexcusable, and I'd tell my _darling little angel_ that if she were here to hear it, but she's not. You know why? Because of you!" I watch as he paces the office, glaring at me in the same way he did when I was a trainee and I did something particularly stupid. That look makes me feel 16 all over again. "Neither of you think before you open your mouth, and the fact that the fate of this station could ride on either one of you is absolutely terrifying. I expect better from her and you..."

"I should fire you, Edward," he pauses and I can feel my lungs cease. The thought of being kicked out of my home makes my vision blur, but I hold back my emotions, desperate not to show them, not now. "But I won't."

My lungs fill with air and I blink away the tears in my eyes.

"However, that doesn't mean that you're off the hook. You two will apologize to one another…" I start to protest, but Charlie won't allow it. "You _will_ apologize to one another _and _to myself and the rest of the crew for your atrocious behavior by sundown tonight _or _you will find a new place to work. Do I make myself clear?"

I nod my head in agreement as Charlie pulls his ringing cell phone from his pocket, and exits the room in a hurry, flinging the door open. I can hear him screaming at Bella over the phone as he walks down the hall, away from the office, and I make to get up and leave as well. That's my plan anyway, until I see the transfer papers for Port Angeles sitting out on Charlie's desk. I stare down at the papers, the ones Charlie could have forced me to fill out the last time I was in this office. He was mad enough today that he could have called the station there personally and forced a transfer if he wanted to, but he didn't. He must know I belong here, just as I know that Bella doesn't, at least not while I'm here… The wheels in my mind turn and my stomach flips as I peer cautiously out the door. Charlie is still outside. I can hear the talking to that he's giving Bella from here. As I pick up the phone on Charlie's desk and dial the number, I tell myself that Bella will leave eventually, that I'm just helping things along.

"Port Angeles firehouse, Chief Volturi speaking, how can I help you?" a gruff male voice answers and I feel my nerves revolting against me.

I almost hang up, but that's when the memory of what happened only a little bit ago flashes back to me and my decision is made. I have to get rid of her and working for Port Angeles is still much better than what she deserves. That's what I tell myself anyway when I reply, making my voice sound slightly deeper, more like Charlie.

"Yes, this is Chief Swan with the Forks fire department. I was hoping that I could set up a transfer of one of my crew to your facilities for that lieutenant position opening at the end of the summer."

I hear the sound of papers rustling over the phone and I glance around nervously as I wait for Chief Volturi to reply, afraid that Charlie may return any second.

"Oh, yes, is this about Edward Cullen, did he finally decide to take me up on my offer?"

My heart clenches in my chest as I catch sight of the family photo on Charlie's desk nestled in an oak frame. I choke on my words.

"Um, uh, no, actually this is about my daughter, Isabella Swan. She's been training in Phoenix for the past four years, and now she's not quite comfortable here in Forks, what after living in the city for so long."

"Ah, I see," Chief Volturi responds, his voice filled with cheer. It's no secret that there's always been a bit of a friendly rivalry between Chief Swan and Chief Volturi. They don't talk very often, but living in such small towns has made them quite competitive and clearly, the idea of having the Forks chief's daughter on his crew thrills him. "And you're positive that she'll be up for being a part of my crew? You and I both know that if I'm going to hold the position I need to be certain."

I think about how happy Charlie was when Bella decided to come home and buy a house here, to live here permanently. It made him feel so proud and when she told him that she didn't intend to leave again, he was elated. Of course, once I'm chief she probably won't want to be here anyway, and I _will_ win chief…I deserve it. I'm just doing what's best for everyone. Even though I know that, I still feel queasy when I answer.

"Yes, she's sure."

"Excellent! Well, I'll put a hold on the position for her then…" His joy fades a bit as Chief Volturi attempts to sound kind, but there's still an edge of cockiness to his tone. "Oh, and Charlie, I know it's no conciliation, but at least she'll be close."

"Of course…thank you."

Chief Volturi hangs up the phone and my heart sinks into my stomach. I blame it on my nerves as I hurriedly leave Charlie's office. Besides, I don't have time to worry about it, I have to find the others and apologize, then I have to apologize to Bella…I don't want to and she definitely doesn't deserve an apology, but in a few months, I'll be chief, she'll be gone, and it won't matter.

I should start apologizing to people straight away and get it over with, but I'm somewhat lost after I leave the chief's office. Mentally that is, not physically. For an hour or so, I simply wander around aimlessly, thinking about nothing and everything. I'm not sure if I feel bad about what I've done necessarily. I just, I don't know...I know that when I'm chief it will be my decision to transfer Bella and Charlie will most likely be upset with me about it, but I can't take it back now and I wouldn't even if I could. I can't have her around me and Charlie should have known that by now. The two of us don't mix, like fire and fire we only create more flame and more destruction. If she was water- docile, cool and collective, things might be different. It is this thought that cures me of my sour mood. I realize that being like me- like fire. She will probably do the same thing. If she somehow miraculously wins the position of chief, I'll be shipped off before I have the opportunity to object. It's her, or me, and I've chosen me just as Charlotte chose her over her baby 5 years ago…

_I sat down on the bleacher, leaning on the cool metal, staring down at my watch. It was already nine o'clock and she said she'd be there by eight. As the seconds ticked by, I continued to wonder why Charlotte wanted to meet me at all. It's not as if we were friends, although I couldn't say exactly what we were._

_Two months prior, we'd be assigned as partners on a history project and well, she was cute and we flirted a bit and flirting led to __**other **__things. We hadn't spoken since we turned in our assignment though and I can't say that I was ecstatic about seeing her again. So what if we had sex...that didn't mean I loved her. I didn't even know if I liked her. Sure, she was funny and cute, but she complained about everything and had a habit of crying over nothing and it seemed to only be getting worse as of late. The day before, she'd burst into tears in the middle of class all because someone asked her if she knew where her ex, Peter Knightly, was. It was ridiculous. _

"_Come on, Char, I haven't got all fucking night," I groaned and tapped my watch, making sure that it was still working. It was._

_I rubbed my hands together, trying to get some heat. It was January; the middle of winter, and my smart ass hadn't worn gloves. For the first time in a while and purely for the purpose of heat, I wished I had a cigarette- those strawberry flavored cloves I used to like so much. I stopped smoking them when Esme found them in my jeans the August before. Carlisle had given me a hard ass time about them and brought home a bunch of pictures of black cadaver lungs from the hospital. He'd leave them sitting out on my dresser, the fridge, the kitchen counter, and one day when I picked up a cigarette and lit it, I got the nastiest image in my head of those black lungs. It only intensified my disgust for cigarettes when Charlie told me how many fires a year are started because of smokers...so much for that addictive habit._

_I felt the feeling in my fingers start to dissipate and I clenched and unclenched my knuckles in an attempt to circulate more blood. It didn't work._

"_Screw this," I hissed and stood, reaching into my pocket to grab my keys. I wasn't going to wait anymore._

_I barely made it off the metal bench when I saw her soft, ivory-skinned, petite frame emerge onto the football field. Even in the dark, her hair seemed to glow a golden color- almost white._

"_About damn time," I complained angrily, shoving my hands fully into my pockets, in an attempt to keep the frozen digits that were once my fingers from falling off._

_I wish that I had kept my mouth shut because when she got close, I noticed the tears on her red cheeks and a sinking feeling hit me. I didn't mean to make her feel bad. Like I said though, everything upset her lately and it turns out that there was a damn good reason for that and Charlotte was not very great with subtlety. She walked right up to the bottom bleacher and stopped, and with little more finesse then a child who wrote on the walls she fumbled over her confession._

"_I'm-, I'm pregnant," she sniffled around the words and I wasn't sure I heard her right...I couldn't have heard her correctly. It's not possible._

"_Um...say again?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly._

"_Pregnant...as in carrying a baby, a child, another human being inside my stupid body. PREGNANT!" She cried and I felt my legs crumble as I fell onto the bleachers, the world's most manly reply leaving my lips._

"_Are you sure?"_

_She glared at me with her pale blue eyes glistening with tears, and pulled something out of her coat- a white stick...a pregnancy test. She held it up and I saw the plus sign staring at me, mocking me with it's positiveness as if this could ever be something positive for a 16 year old girl and a 17 year old boy. Positive...positive as in positive for pregnancy...not negative...how could this not be negative. My back throbbed with pain from the position I'd landed in and my head started to spin. How could this be? I wore a condom, damn it! Suddenly, I remembered what Carlisle said about condoms not being 100% effective...so that was it. My entire life ruined from one fucking stupid fuck...What about college, what if I had wanted to go to college. I didn't know if I did, but what if I had wanted to. That simply test meant I couldn't. Not without a baby in tow. A baby...oh god, a fucking baby!_

"_Well, say something," Charlotte egged me on._

"_What the fuck am I supposed to say, Char?"_

"_Something, Anything!"_

_A sudden flare of anger shot up in me. Fine, if she wanted to hear something, I'd say something._

"_Is it mine?"_

_Her eyes flashed with an anger I didn't even know she was capable of and she stepped forward onto the bleachers and smacked me hard across the face._

"_Does that answer your question?"_

_My body was so numb from shock that I didn't register the pain at all...I couldn't believe what was happening to me and as I stared into her eyes I realized that she felt the same way. We were both at a loss._

"_So...so we're going to have a b-, baby," I muttered, fisting a hand through my hair. "I-, I-, I'm going to be a dad..."_

"_No, you're not," Charlotte replied with her face hard as stone, but I could see the sadness in her eyes._

"_But your-, your pregnant?" I said in confusion, the pieces not quite clicking._

"_The appointment has already been made. I'm driving to Port Angeles in the morning."_

_I felt the world spin around me for the second time and I heard words coming out of my mouth that I never expected._

"_You don't have to do that, Char. We could-, we could do this. We could try to, you know, date and whatever, and I'll help you with the baby and we'll-, we'll figure this-"_

"_I don't want to have a baby, Edward," she said, cutting me off. "Peter wants to get back together and I want to go to college and have a life...I've thought about this for a few weeks and I'm not ready to be a mother." _

_I nodded my head. Whatever she wanted, I would support her. Isn't that what I was supposed to do? However, inside I felt like I was losing something, albeit something I never actually had or wanted, but still, I was losing it all the same._

I feel someone crash into me, tearing me from my thoughts; it's Charlie. I've been standing in the middle of the hallway, sucked into the past, and the alarm is going off. There's a fire. I see the expression on his face, a look of disappointment and before I know it, I'm apologizing, but I'm not sure what for. I hate disappointing him, but it's something more than that…Unfortunately, I don't have time to think about it because I have to run to catch up with him and pull on my bunker gear. While we're jumping into the truck though, I see a change in him, a look of faith- faith in me, and I feel incredibly unworthy.

**Well, there you have it, the story of Charlotte, and Edward has done something bad...Who thinks this will come back to bite him in the ass? Lol Mm, Edward's ass...sorry got distracted! Lol Anyway, if anyone was curious I didn't make it to the second round of voting in the Avant Garde Award. Too bad, so sad, I guess. Oh well! You can see that I'm taking it pretty well, but you know what would allow me to take the news even better? Wonderful reviews from my amazing reviewers! So hurry, send one before I spin down into a spiral of sorrow...yeah I've taken the emo route to gain your sympathy, how pathetic of me, I know. Lol**


	11. Burning Down the House

**Another day off, another chapter. I do have some distressing news, I'll do my best to write a chapter next week, but my husband's schedule got changed and now he has every other Saturday off which is wonderful because I get more time with him, but it's awful because it will make writing every week even more tough. As I said though, I'll continue trying to get a chapter done every week and if not, it will happen at least every other week. Well, I've got to go get showered and do chores now. I'm going to see comedian Gabriel Iglesias tonight! So excited! And I'm sure you're just as excited to read this chapter and I don't think it will disappoint. Once again I own nothing Twilight, but these two are going to kill us all with the heat they have brewing. =D Enjoy and please review! **

**Chapter 11**

**Burning Down the House**

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."~ Joan Crawford

**BPOV**

As we race towards the scene of the fire, I avoid eye contact with everyone. They're all staring at me as if I have two fucking heads. Well, except Tanya, she's too busy batting her eyelashes at Edward. I notice that he winks at her, his eyes not quite as light and playful as I would suspect. Is it possible he feels as bad as I do about disappointing my dad and making asses of ourselves? I don't know…but at least the fact that he doesn't seem to want to flirt with Tanya is enough to stop me from wringing her neck.

I lean my head back into the over-padded seat and shut my eyes, concentrating on the blackness instead of the feeling in my gut that says I'm losing it and everyone knows it. I don't understand where this seething anger came from, and I haven't got a clue on how I'm supposed to impress these people, make them feel that I'm worthy of being chief and taking care of their lives, if I can't even control myself.

It's not as if I have support from a single person here either. These are all people who oppose me already. There's no one here that I can call a friend. Sure, Tyler voted for me, but now that he found out about Emmett and me on the roof, he seems to be uninterested in helping me. When I apologized to him earlier, he actually shooed me away before I fully had the words out of my mouth. I suppose that's not really a big surprise. I always knew Tyler was only on my side to get in my pants. The thought sparks an unwelcome image in my head of Tyler wearing my tight, hip hugging pants, and forgetting my previous issue, my eyes snap open, and I catch the quickly averting gazes of my fellow crewmembers.

Embarrassed at being watched like some sideshow freak, my cheeks flush and I attempt to cover the redness by resting my face in my hands. Maybe I was wrong to want to be chief. It's clear I don't belong here, that they don't want me as their leader. I fight back the wetness building in my eyes as I feel the truck come to a stop, and working on years of training, I ignore my instinct to run, and jump out of the cab.

The heat hits me first followed closely by the smell- burnt wood, fabric, plastic, and wiring. Smoke billows out from the beautiful, light green two-story home, pluming into dark gray clouds as the flames spew out of a window on the second story and crawl across the shingled roof. I hear the shouts of the others, the thuds of their footsteps as they hurry into their positions and I turn to make my way over to the controls for the pumps, but my eyes catch sight of the mailbox out front and the name that appears on it- Stanley.

My heart plummets into my stomach as a dozen thoughts enter my mind all at once. When did they move here? Where's Jake? What if he decided to stop by for lunch? That was his plan for today. I asked him to come by the firehouse because I was so upset about what happened this morning, and he told me that he couldn't, that he had plans to go over to Jessica's house for lunch. I'll never forgive myself for not telling him about her if he's in there, if he's dead…Panic rises in me as I forget who I am and what I'm doing. All I can think about is Jake. I have to get to Jake.

Ignoring everything else, I dash to the cab and start digging in the front seat for my dad's phone, desperate to hear Jake's voice. My panic turns to fear as seconds pass and I can't find the phone. I'm reaching between the seat cushions and I can feel my cheeks getting wet. I'm crying…I'm crying, but I can't hear it because my blood is pumping so hard that the sound of my erratically beating heart is echoing in my ears.

"Dad!" I scream out for help and scramble out of the truck. "Dad!"

I search for his distinct mustache, listen for his thundering voice, but he's nowhere to be found. There's people everywhere, neighbors and the members of the crew, including Emmett who must have arrived moments ago. I forgot he was on call. It doesn't matter though, it doesn't matter at all, only Jake matters, and if I can't call than I'll just have to make sure he isn't in there myself.

The second floor is practically engulfed in flames as I pull on my oxygen tank and mask. No one notices, not Emmett or Jasper who are trying to open the ancient fire hydrant, or Mike and Tyler who are uncurling hose, or even Alice who's setting the switches and controls for the water pump while Tanya flirts with the spectators under cover of keeping the crowd under control. Nope, no one notices…except Edward.

I feel a pull on my jacket as I step towards the house and his eyes are on mine, his angry gaze bearing down on me.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" He screams and his face scrunches up in fury. "That roof is going to collapse any minute!"

"I don't have a choice," I reply, my eyes still dripping with tears as I try to pull away from him. "I can't find my dad or the phone, and Jake might be in there."

"God damn it, Bella! If he's in there, he's probably gone, and getting yourself killed isn't going to change that." His grip tightens on my jacket and I hear the wood of the house groan slightly behind him as the crew begins to spray the roof with gallons upon gallons of water. "Sometimes there's nothing we can do, and this is one of those times. Going in there now is suicide, and I won't go in after you. I won't die and leave behind my family and everything I love to save one person who makes a dumb decision."

The softness in his eyes and the well of emotion in his voice lets me know that he's not just talking about him going in after me. He's talking about Jane…about the woman who rushed back into her burning apartment building to get her cat, and he's talking about his parents, who went running in after her and never came back. What he doesn't understand is that nothing he says will stop me, and that I'm not asking him to rescue me anyway.

"Fine, you don't have to save me. I know what I'm risking and some things are worth dying for…your parents knew that and so do I."

I push forward, yanking my jacket out of his hold, and free of his grasp, I run into the house without orders or a plan, and with a very good chance that I may die.

Once I'm inside, the smoke is so heavy that I can barely see the flames, but I can feel the heat. Beneath my bunker gear, my skin is slick with sweat and drops of perspiration build on my forehead. I don't have time to think about what I'm doing, and thankfully, I don't have to. All the years I've spent fighting fires allows my body to do the thinking for me.

It almost feels like an out of body experience as my feet move with expert speed and precision, my eyes scanning each room. The only noise I can hear is my breathing and the soft roar of fire and pumping water, combining to create a sort of white noise. I listen intently to the static sound, feeling out the rooms as I make my way around, and after a minute or two, I've cleared the first floor. They're not down here, which can only mean that if anyone is here, they're on the second floor. I move hastily towards the stairs and take the steps two by two, shouting into my mask.

"Jake! Jessica!"

My voice is muffled of course, but that doesn't matter, there's no one in the first two rooms I check, at least I hope there's no one in them because all that meets me is flames. I hear the roof creak and my breathing picks up speed as I race down the hall, towards the back of the house and the last two rooms. I have to make sure, I just have to make sure the house is empty, that my best friend isn't dead from inhaling the smoke, that the lying, cheating bitch he's crazy about isn't here so that I can kill her myself later..

"JAKE! JESSICA!" I scream out their names again, poking my head into the first room.

There's nothing to see but smoke, and with my eyes blurring with sweat and tears, I begin to feel a sense of hope. Maybe they aren't here. My hope is briefly lived. I hear a crash behind me and the floor shakes. It's happening; the roof is collapsing…A fear so deeply rooted in us all coils inside me. I'm going to die; I'm really going to die. I hear the ceiling above me giving way and with my nerves tingling, and terror gripping me, I throw myself into the final room. There, lying on the floor is not Jake, but Jessica.

She's dressed in the skimpiest lingerie I've ever seen and based off the mirror that hangs on the ceiling above the bed, I assume this is her bedroom. The window is cracked and the smoke so thin in here that she may just actually be alive and as I feel the floor rumble again and hear the sound of wood smashing into the door, I know there's only one thing I can do to save us both. Hurriedly, I open the window and lift Jessica off the floor, and with probably a bit more glee than I intend, I drop her through the window, into the backyard, and onto the bushes below.

The walls groan under the stress of the burning roof, and an alarm goes off in my helmet- the oxygen alarm. I grabbed a bad tank. Shit! It's time for me to go. I place my foot on the window ledge and I'm just about to jump out when I see something- a light, a beaming light coming from under the crack of the attached bathroom. Jake…Without hesitating, I clamber for the door and fling it open to find…nothing, absolutely nothing, and as I hear the distinct cracking of a mirror, I realize I'm fucked. The ceiling caves and everything goes black.

Who ever knew death could be so peaceful- the gentle rocking motion, the smell of cinnamon, the comfort of a warm embrace, it's all so inviting that I have a hard time thinking about anything else. I suppose that's a good thing, considering the whole ceasing to live aspect of it all. Regardless, I allow myself to melt into the swaying movement and the sweet, spicy scent while I contemplate how much nicer this is than that stupid white light everyone talks about. This-, this is my idea of heaven, of perfection. It's too bad that the pounding of my head has to ruin it.

The throbbing ache jolts me back into reality and I slowly open my eyes to an even crazier concept than thinking myself dead. I'm hanging over Edward's shoulder and the ground is coming towards me fast. I groan softly, inhaling the same cinnamon scent from before, recognizing the masking aroma of smoke as he steps down from the ladder.

"Edward?" I'm baffled by what's happened, and I can feel his muscles tense when I say his name. I don't know if that's good or bad, or why I care.

He places me down, resting me on my feet in the grass, and then drops my helmet and facemask on the ground beside me. I wobble under my weight, my head aching from the smoke as I gain some of my bearings back. I realize the house is still burning, that the second floor hasn't crumbled yet, and that Jessica is breathing, just barely, in the bushes. I cough up the smoke I inhaled and I rid myself of my jacket- it's too heavy and I'm too hot and confused…oh, so confused. What just happened? He said he wasn't going to go in after me, he said that if I got in trouble it was my own damn fault so why, why is it that I'm standing here with only him to thank?

He paces the lawn and removes his helmet in anger, tossing it to the ground with a growl of frustration. He wore no mask so every inch of his face is covered in soot from the fire, even the scruff on his chiseled jaw seems darker than normal, and I find myself mesmerized by the filth, my head swimming with dirty thoughts. He looks hot...and not just any kind of hot, but the type of hot that makes my thighs tremble and my heart race. Sweaty and enraged, he stalks over in my direction, his eyebrows furrowed, his arms gesturing every which way as he starts to scream at me.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Huh? You don't listen! You knew I was right, you knew it was too fucking dangerous, but you went in anyway. If you had stuck around for two extra seconds, you would have realized that Charlie wasn't around because he realized he forgot his phone and was calling Jake's shop from the neighbor's house…and oh, he's fine by the way! You know what your problem is, why you're not cut out for being chief of anything?"

He steps closer to me and I can feel the anger rolling off him, see his fingers balling into a fist. He wants to punch me, he really wants to punch me, but he doesn't, he just continues to rant.

"Because you get your fucking jollies off doing whatever the fuck you want no matter what anyone else thinks. You don't care who you hurt or if you're making a bad choice, all that matters to you is what _you _want and how _you _feel. Well, I have news for you. Other people have feelings too and despite what you might think, their feelings are just as important!"

The words have no affect for once and his hot temper is wasted on me. I'm not thinking clearly, I'm not fighting back as I normally would. It's so clear he's talking about himself- the way his body shakes and the anger he exudes at me is damn near palpable. I'm hurting him…how long have I been hurting him and why is it that right now I don't want to hurt him at all…Perhaps I'm too mesmerized, too distracted by his proximity to my body, and yet I can't help wanting him to be closer, needing him to be closer.

"I'm sorry," I whisper and his face morphs into complete perplexity. He doesn't understand, and fuck, neither do I. "I'm sorry…for what I said this morning."

"Are you though, are you really?" He whimpers, his eyes shimmering with distrust. "Or is it just because Charlie thinks you should be?"

He's only a few inches away, his face so close to my face that I can almost taste his hot, cinnamon breath and every word out of his mouth makes me want to hump his leg like a horny dog. Maybe the smoke is clouding my judgment, or perhaps it's the fact that he just saved my life, but I can't think of anything except his lips. They seem so enticing...his soft...perfect lips.

"I don't know anymore,"

I lunge at him, pressing my mouth to his with an intensity, a need, I can't control. He stiffens, his lips unmoving against mine as I run my fingers up and into his tousled bronze mane, my entire body tingling with want. I don't know why I'm doing this, what would possess me to, but god, it feels amazing- he feels amazing. I twirl my fingers around the strands of his messy, dirty hair, and he breaks. He kisses me back, purring in approval, his unruly hair revealing itself as his kryptonite. I melt into him, my body sagging against his while his mouth moves across mine, his tongue delving between my lips.

His taste coats my tongue and I gasp around the kiss. He tastes so good, impossibly good. My mind is dizzy, my thoughts are scattered by the exquisite cinnamon flavor.

He reaches for my hair, twirling his hand around my ponytail and yanking it back so that the kiss is ended, and my eyes peer up at him. I can't decipher what he's feeling, the emotions on his face are all mixed together- anger, lust, confusion, and something else...I don't know. I just don't fucking know!

"Maybe they're in the back! Edward? Bella?" Emmett calls out to us from somewhere around the side of the house, his voice laced with concern, bringing us both back to our senses.

"Fuck…" Edward murmurs under his breath and I feel my inner Bella cry in anger as the outer Bella frees herself from him and steps away…not with him, not with Edward. He's a player, an untamable, wild, jerk who will only hurt me. I shake my head to clear it and do my best to form my face into a look of disgust.

"Well, that was not what I expected," I say, which sadly isn't a lie. "I know it's the nice thing to do and all, kissing a person when they save your life, but next time, I think I'll skip it."

His gentle yet rough and spectacular lips form a pursued line and a pang in my chest forces me to look away.

"I found them! They're good!" Emmett hollers, jogging across the lawn in our direction.

He looks at the two of us, Edward and I avoiding looking at one another, shrugs his shoulders and reaches down to pick up Jessica. That's right, Emmett, nothing strange here. I mean, there's no way that I just kissed Edward Cullen...and I definitely didn't love every second of it.

**Hot Damn! Phew! Someone needs to turn up the A/C because it's getting hot in here...no, really, it's getting hot in here. I believe it's 106 here in Phoenix today. Yeah...it's like living in a fucking oven and unlike Bella, I love the rain and I hate the sun. Anyway, so here's what I need you to do for me. I need a distraction from the mind-numbing heat and you know what is the best distraction in the world besides Dirty Edward? Anybody, Anybody? No? REVIEWS! They are wonderfully distracting and boy, do they make me feel good after a long, hard week at work...hehe long...hard...Lol Sorry got sidetracked. =D The point I'm trying to make is, leave a review and do your part to make the world a better place (well at least for the people who have to deal with me complaining about how hot it is here in the 7th circle of hell that is Arizona).**

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	12. Burning in Perpetual Motion

**No time for funny, haha author's notes. I'm supposed to leave in 15 minutes and I haven't taken a shower. Enjoy the chapter. Once again, I own nothing twilight, but I wish I had a time machine right now. Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 12**

**Burning in Perpetual Motion**

"Neither love nor fire can subsist without perpetual motion; both cease to live so soon as they cease to hope, or to fear."~ François de la Rochefoucauld

**EPOV**

_The smoke billows in all directions, filling every crevice of space, creating a gray fog that conceals my view. There is no visibility, no indication of life except my own rapid breathing and I can feel the heat stretching towards me as if it's drawn to my presence. I know, without any proof, that's exactly what's happening- the fire is seeking me out, but I'm too focused on the task at hand to care. I press the sleeve of my jacket to my face and kneeling to the floor, I begin to search by touch as my heart races, and the wood creaks, buckling around me._

_Minutes flash by in seconds. I see it all in a fast forward of haze- my hand discovering another, a body slung over my back, a few angry words, and in an instant, time comes to an abrupt pause. The world freezes with her lips on mine. Soft, pliable, lips bend and curve to match my own and I forget. I forget about the heat, the fire inching in my direction, on the hunt for its prey, and as the flames quickly envelop and consume me, I scream with the memory of her taste still on my tongue._

My eyes snap open and I gasp in a lungful of air, scurrying to a sitting position. The room doesn't bend or creak, the air is clear and cool, yet my skin is still covered in sweat. It was a dream, only a dream…the same one I've had every night for the past week.

I place my fingertips to my lips. A week and I can still feel the ghost of her mouth on mine like it's been moments instead of days. With a groan, I let my hand slide into my hair as I peer into the dark room. Minutes slip by and I know the shadows on the walls are shifting slightly, but I can't see the change. It seems to be that way with many things in life, nothing appears to change, but it does. Under the cover of darkness, in the blink of an eye, when its least expected, there is change, and now all because of one mind-blowing kiss I don't even know who I am anymore. Unfortunately, change doesn't seem to care what I think, change is happening- whether I want it to or not. If only I could go back in time and warn myself…but if I could, would I stop myself from going into the house to save her. Alternatively, is it possible, that knowing the result would lead me to rush in twice as fast? As I said, I don't know myself anymore; maybe I've never known myself at all, the person I thought I knew never would have gone into the house to begin with.

_She disappeared inside and I heard a series of shouts and hollers from the crew, none louder or more concerned than Emmett's._

_"What the hell is she doing?" He bellowed, his face turning starkly white as he finally wrenched the fire hydrant open._

_Jasper took hold of the hose as Emmett rushed to my side, shoving me against the truck. _

_"How could you let her go in there? You know that roof is going to collapse!"_

_The heat in my veins bubbled, my defensive instincts kicking in. I've never liked being pushed around, especially not when I didn't do anything wrong. It didn't help that Emmett in particular, recently had become one of my least favorite people in the world. Hearing him and Bella on the roof through my open window the night before had really pissed me off. I was convinced it was because Bella had ruined every chance at fucking for me with all the cock blocking, and yet she was able to do as she pleased and he was the one that she was doing it with. That was enough to put him on my shit list._

_"And just how do you suspect I was supposed to stop her? I told her it was dangerous...It's not my fucking fault she doesn't listen!" I growled at him through gritted teeth, shoving him back. "Maybe if you'd been paying attention you could have fucked her and stopped her from going in!"_

_His nostrils flared and I felt my confidence wane as he stepped forward, sandwiching me between the truck and himself with his fingers curled tightly around my jacket. I somehow forgot how much bigger Emmett was than me, but with him so close and so angry, it was easy to remember. It's at times like these that I really wish I had some sort of filter. _

_"You better watch your fucking mouth, Cullen, or it's going to have a serious confrontation with my fist," he spat the words at me, pressing into me hard enough that I knew there would be bruises while choking me with the pressure of my jacket on my throat._

_I felt my lungs constrict with the lack of air and the world, while still red, went a little blurry, and even though Emmett kept talking, I was too dizzy to make out much of the words._

_"I'm sick of your shit...don't deserve...keep acting this way...never will."_

_I had no idea what he was saying. I just wanted air; I needed air. The edges of my vision went black and my limbs went numb. Blacking out was a real possibility, until, without warning, Emmett pulled away and my lungs inflated with fresh oxygen. My sight became clear once more and I discovered the reason behind my release- Charlie. _

_"What is going on here? I left you alone for two fucking minutes to run next door and call Jake to make sure he's okay! Two minutes!"_

_He glared furiously at Emmett for a moment, then, scanned the area- taking count of everyone, and upon noticing Bella's absence, he broke out into a panic._

_"Where's Bella?"_

_Silence. Apparently, I was the only one who had the guts to tell him._

_"She's inside," I croaked and in the background, I heard the house whine as the left side of the roof gave way._

_Determination- I saw it in his eyes as he reached for an oxygen mask and seeing his worry so clear made my heart sink. I knew what he was about to do and I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't lose him like I'd lost my own parents and if that meant saving Bella myself than so fucking be it. _

_I yanked the mask from his hand and threw it to the side._

_"There's not enough time for that,"_

_"I don't like it, but Edward's right," Emmett agreed._

_"Than I'll go in without it, that's **my **Bella in there," Charlie argued._

_There was something about the way he said it- **my** Bella, that sparked something in me. I saw the image in my head of Bella standing in my kitchen in nothing but a towel, tears running down her cheeks, face flushed with embarrassment, and I allowed myself to think that it was her in there- the Bella I had fantasized her to be, the kind, sweet, girl that blushed and cried. A switch went off in me, and I didn't think, I just did._

_"I know Charlie, I know, but I'll go get her, I've got this," Emmet countered._

_He reached for the ladder, but it was too late, I already had it, and the two of them stood there in shock as I rushed away with the ladder, chasing after **my** Bella._

"**My** Bella," I whisper into the empty space and the phrase sounds foreign, and thrilling. It makes my skin prickle with want and my insides burn. The problem is, Bella is not _my _Bella…but is it possible she could be.

The apology and the kiss have me filled with uncertainty because for a few moments, she was and I don't know if she ever will be again and even more so, I don't know what that means as far as my feelings for her go. Do I have feelings for this Bella? Could I have feelings for this Bella? Or will only _my _Bella do?

Climbing out of bed, I make my way down the hall to the communal bathroom, hoping to splash some water on my face and clear my head. I hate not knowing what I'm feeling, it's bad enough that I don't have a clue as to what Bella's feeling. I thought I did, and when she backed away from me in Jessica's back yard, I was certain she was her normal self, that the kiss was just some new way to torment me, but the events that followed made her feelings impossible to decipher.

_Bella avoided even glancing in my direction, and after Emmett picked up Jessica, she jogged to his side. Watching her leave without a care in the world made my chest ache uncomfortably and my ears burn hot with anger. I screamed out after her, my tone rude._

_"You're welcome!"_

_I saw her body stiffen and she turned to snap back with an almost genuine 'thank you', catching me by surprise as the house finally crumbled from the damage, crashing down into a burning heap of charred remains._

_When we emerged on the front lawn, Charlie rushed over to Bella, hugging her so tightly that you would think she might float away, she took it the way only Bella could, with a roll of the eyes._

_"Relax, Dad, I'm fine," she mumbled._

_But he didn't let go of her, and when he caught my eye he gave me a nod of thanks, I responded with a shrug, unsure of what to say._

_A sharp sting shot through my shoulder, forcing my attention onto my pixie of a sister. She smacked me, and she wasn't doing it to get my attention because she continued smacking me repeatedly even when I turned to her._

_"Jeez, Alice! For fuck's sake, will you stop hitting me?"_

_My request was denied, and in addition to smacking me, she started screaming, punctuating her every word with a shot of pain._

_"You- idiot! Don't- you- ever- run- off- like- that- without- telling- me- again! You- could- at- least- fucking- tell- me- when- you- do- something- so- idiotically- suicidal, you- insensitive- prick!"_

_"Alright! Alright! OW! Fuck, god, I'm sorry!"_

_Alice harrumphed, but thankfully, stopped beating on me, and I rubbed my arm, trying to sooth away the pain. It didn't help much, that pixie had a hell of an arm on her. Jasper tucked an arm around her and I glared at him._

_"You couldn't have stopped her, why?"_

_He shrugged._

_"Seemed like a family matter, I didn't want to get involved. Count it as my acceptance to your apology for this morning."_

_Shit. That reminded me I still had people to apologize to. Well...fuck. I opened my mouth, but Alice cut me off._

_"Yeah, yeah- you're sorry. You still owe me a talk later...in private."_

_That meant she was still pissed off about the Charlotte thing...damn it. I let out a groan as Jasper looked at me with an expression that clearly said 'You're on your own.' Double damn it..._

_It turned out that I didn't have time to worry about that however because things were about to go to hell in a fucking hand basket. _

_"Jake!" I heard Bella scream as a red car and the ambulance pulled up in front of the house._

_While Emmett placed Jessica on the cot and she groaned, coming to, Bella ran to meet Jacob's tanned arms. He climbed out of the car, enveloping her in a hug and my insides curled in on themselves. The sight made me feel instantly sick, even after he let her go, and while reaching down to clutch my stomach, I heard the nasally, high pitched voice of doom._

_"Edward! Edward, you saved me!" Jessica half squeaked, half groaned, slowly emerging from her groggy state just in time to squeal, "I knew you loved me! I knew it wasn't just about the sex. I knew you'd save me, that if I started the fire you'd like rescue me, and you did. Oh god, I love you, Edward, I love you!"_

_I saw it all happen in slow motion- everyone froze in place around us as Jacob's mouth dropped open in surprise and than his eyebrows furrowed, his hands curling in fists as Bella latched onto his arm._

_"You," he growled at me, "Your cursed ass is mine, Cullen."_

_"Oh great, here we go with the fucking cursed shit again...I'm so sick of this! My family is living on your tribe's stolen land, cry me a fucking river! That doesn't mean I'm doomed to live a cursed life, it doesn't mean shit. It didn't mean shit when I was fucking Jessica and it doesn't mean shit now that I'm not! Take her, I don't want her, I never did!" _

_I could see the muscles in his arms flex as Bella attempted to hold him back. _

_"Stop it, Jake. She's a cheating bitch, let it go!"_

_I had to admit, he looked ferule as shit, almost like a wolf or something- all snarling teeth and flexed muscle. It was clear that this wasn't going to end well for me, but I'd be damned if I was going down without a fight._

_"Come and get it, wolf-boy! You want me, I'm right here."_

_I threw my fire jacket to the ground and a surge of adrenaline sent me stomping in his direction._

_"Edward! Oh, Edward, don't fight over me, you don't have to. I'm already yours!" Jessica squealed again, and Jake pulled against Bella's hold, freeing himself. I could see the fear in Bella's eyes as Jake and I closed in on one another, but I didn't realize whom she was concerned for until she cracked._

_"Shut up, Jessica!" She screamed. "He doesn't love you! Otherwise, he wouldn't have stopped sleeping with you when I threatened to tell Jake about you!"_

_The crowd gasped and Jake stopped dead in his tracks, the anger on his face slipping into sadness._

_"What..." he murmured, his attention focusing in on Bella. "You knew about this, you knew and you didn't tell me?"_

_"Wait, Jake, I can explain," she pleaded with him, her eyes filling with wetness- **my** Bella was surfacing and it made my chest burn with warmth. _

_"No...no, you can't! We're best friends! How could you not tell me? And to protect him!"_

_Jake pointed in my direction and Bella glanced from me to him, her expression hardening, hiding **my** Bella._

_"It's just-, you were so happy, Jake, and I-, god-, I just wanted you to be happy!"_

_Ouch...I didn't know why that hurt so bad or why, even when Jake sped away, the fact that she wouldn't look at me, hurt even worse._

From what I hear, Bella hasn't spoken to Jake since then, andwhenever I'm around her, it's as if we both are fighting simply for some sort of normalcy. We fight about whose turn it is to run drills with Charlie or what to watch on the television, but it feels like an act- at least on my end, I know it is. Yeah, she still pisses me off, she makes me ridiculously angry, but every time we're within two feet of each other all I can think is she could be _my _Bella and the urge to kiss her is so strong I can barely see.

I'm halfway to the bathroom, when I notice one of the bedroom doors is open, Bella's, and curiosity takes over. Without making a sound, I peek into the room, hoping for what, I don't know.

She's asleep, deeply asleep, with her legs, practically bare in only a pair of black sleep shorts, entangled in a purple comforter. Her arms curl around the fabric, pressing it into the white tank top covering her and she shivers. How can she be cold? It's burning hot…She shivers again, and instinctively, I walk into the room, stepping across the distance that separates us and carefully, I wrap the extra bits of comforter around her. My hand brushes across the skin of her arm and warmth rushes through me as Bella, _my _Bella murmurs in her sleep, so softly I can barely hear her, she says, 'Edward'.

Once I leave the room, and shut the door behind me the warm feelings dissipate. I don't know who _I_ am, but I know what I want, the question is, is what I want a possibility or will this all end like my dream, with me being burnt alive for my efforts, scorched beyond repair.

**No Time! Pretty please with Edward on top and ice cream and a cherry and whipped cream and chocolate syrup leave me a review. **


	13. Let the Flames Begin

**So, the first lemon was supposed to happen this chapter, but it just wasn't working, sorry guys. The good news is that the lemon WILL be next chapter, which means it will be EPOV and really, isn't that better? Well, once again, I own nothing Twlight, but I hate writer's block...seriously, I've been trying to write this since yesterday morning and I kept hitting snag after snag after snag. *sigh* Anyway! Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 13**

**Let the Flames Begin**

"Weakness is our strength."~ Paramore

**BPOV**

The phone rings in my ear, once, twice, three times, before the voice mail kicks in.

"Hey, you've reached Jake, leave me a message."

With a dejected sigh, I press the end button and place my cell on the table in front of me. There's no point in leaving a voicemail; in the past week, I've left sixteen. Knowing Jake, as I do, he didn't bother to listen to them prior to deleting them, but that's just how he is, he's the type of person that holds a grudge. Hell, I'm not completely sure he'll ever forgive me for this, and the worst part is I'm not convinced he should.

I slump forward, burying my face in my arms, resting my forehead against the cool wooden slab in an attempt to calm myself. Why should he forgive me when I refused to tell him the truth for my own selfish reasons? Now, it's true, I didn't know until that day of the fire the exact reason, but in the end, I suppose it doesn't matter. Whether I was protecting Edward, or simply prolonging Jacob's happiness is a mute point, it doesn't change the outcome. If I were a good friend, I would have told him something, anything. The truth is I've been too absorbed in me...and in Edward.

My thighs clench as the dream from last night comes rushing forward- his hands on my body, his breath on my neck, his words being whispered into my ear, my entire body blushing and quivering beneath his. Thinking of it all makes me feel like gelatin- wobbly, unstable, and unsure. With great effort, I force the images from my thoughts, lifting my head from the table. If it's possible to be drunk with lust, than I am well-beyond sloshed. I rub at my eyes and the shame rolls back in, in a massive wave, making me increasingly angry with myself. What have I become? I can't even feel bad about what I've done because all I can think about is _him_.

It doesn't help that he's everywhere I go, when I'm at home he's next door, when I'm at work he's here also, and I swear he's getting too close these days, almost as if he knows that he's driving me insane and he's doing it on purpose. Every little argument makes me hornier, every word he says makes me feel high, and yet, I can't give in, I won't. It's torture, but it's what I deserve for destroying my friendship with Jake. Besides, I'm better than that, I won't become another notch on Edward Cullen's belt.

I groan, my thoughts weighing heavily on me, so heavy that I feel as if I could sink into the wood of the table. I'm a terrible person…I thought I was strong and smart- good, but Edward's made it so I'm not certain about anything anymore. On Saturday, the way he acted, well for a moment, he almost had me thinking that he was someone else entirely.

_I ran a check on the bunker gear, watching from a distance as Garrett and Kate scrubbed at the truck, the soapy suds overflowing in their hands. Edward was supervising the two bickering teens, occasionally acting as a referee, but try as he might nothing he could have done would have stopped the war that came to fruition between the volatile pair. All it took was one tipped over bucket of water and all hell broke loose._

_It happened in an instant, Kate was on top of the truck and Garrett was on the side, the two busy at work, seemingly in a truce for the time being. I saw Kate turn away from the edge of the roof, and then, back again, her elbows hitting the soap-filled bucket and sending it crashing down onto the unsuspecting Garret below. There was nothing I could do, no way that I could have warned anyone, it happened too fast. Oddly enough, what followed felt as if it spanned a lifetime, the seconds ticking by in slow motion._

_Soapy water cascaded down over Garrett, soaking him from head to toe and Kate's eyes widened in shock, a flash of a wince showing itself before it faded to a blank expression on her face. _

"_What the fuck!" screamed a soaked Garrett as he wiped the suds away from his arms, his face turning from complacent white to rage red, his fists clenching in anger. He glared up at Kate, accusingly, a growl escaping from him. "You did that on purpose!"_

_The truth is she hadn't, I know because I saw the surprise in her eyes that had flickered away too quickly to be seen. Unfortunately, the history between those two, the years of anger and hate, made all the difference. Garrett would never believe Kate, or even Edward, or me, in his eyes, Kate had done it on purpose, and no one would convince him otherwise. He couldn't see the Kate I saw...the one that felt bad for the accident and for a second, was even concerned he might be hurt before he automatically assumed she was too blame. He only saw the Kate that started laughing- a fake, forced laugh to cover up the fact that he'd hurt her, and that laugh felt all too real to Garrett._

"_God damn it, Kate! These are new fucking shoes! Just because you don't mind looking like shit doesn't mean the rest of us are content with looking like white trash!" Garrett yelled, launching the wet rag he was using right at Kate. It smacked her in the face with a sloppy, wet sound and her laughter died, a look of fury taking over her features._

_With a determined air, she took to the ladder, hopping down from the top of the engine, striding in Garrett's direction. She stopped within inches of him and with a howl of anger, shoved him- hard, and time sped forward, flashing by so fast I could barely keep track of everything. When it was all said and done, Garrett had a black eye from Kate's fist, Kate had a fat lip from Garrett throwing his pale of water on her, which made her slip and fall flat on her face. The two were seething at each other, struggling in mine and Edward's holds, but I wasn't holding Garrett and Edward wasn't holding Kate, it was the other way around._

_I clenched onto Kate tightly, curling my fingers around her shirt in a death grip as she swatted at me, her eyes set on Garrett's as Garrett fought against Edward. That's when the weirdest thing happened. For one miniscule moment in time, their faces changed and I didn't see Kate and Garrett, I saw Edward and me. Edward resisted against his own hold, as I fought to free myself from myself and I couldn't help it, I gasped. It was all too much, too wild. Then, it was over, my eye lids blinked closed and when they opened, I had Kate in my grasp once again, and no doubt a look of absolute shock on my face. Edward was yelling at the two teens, but I wasn't paying attention, wasn't listening at all. Eventually, he let Garrett go and I released Kate; she jogged out of the room in a hurry, headed for the parking lot. Garrett, however, stayed behind. Edward was still talking to him and my ears finally seemed to be working again._

"_I mean it, you two come back intent on at least being civil, or don't come back at all. We can't have fights going on here," he spoke as Garrett nodded in respect, but the teen appeared almost torn, unsure of his ability to do as Edward wanted. Edward must have noticed it too because he sighed and offered some encouragement. "Maybe the easy way isn't always the better way, Knightley. With some effort, maybe being nice could be more rewarding." _

_Edward's eyes shot a look at me and for a brief second I saw the same look of uncertainty in Garrett's gaze, mirrored in his. For that moment, all the walls were down and he become this person I never knew he could be, kind, thoughtful, and boy, did that scare the fuck out of me. The fear coursing through me was damn near palpable. Taken off guard, and scared out of my wits, my defensive instinct kicked in, I rolled my eyes at him. A blip in time and the kind Edward was gone, his attention focused on Garrett again, his expression flat._

"_Then again, I could be wrong." _

But I don't think he was wrong and that's terrifying. Edward being right, Edward being kind…hell, if that could happen, up could be down, round could be square, and blue could be purple as far as I'm concerned. At least that would make more sense than this strange sensation in my gut that I'm free-falling into a great unknown. It's almost as if I'm Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I'm falling into the rabbit hole, dropping into a new world that is strange, and eerie, and infinitely different from the world I've always known and I see glimpses of it. Those glimpse makes me scared, and confused, really confused. The shitty part is that being confused and scared…well, that makes me angry.

"God damn it," I shout, pounding my fist against the table- dumb idea. The contact sends a shooting pain up my arm that causes me to hiss. "Fuck."

Yep, that was brilliant**¡** With a wince, I begin massaging my fingers in an attempt to soothe the ache.

"Smooth move, ex-lax," his soft, velvety voice knocks the wind out of me and the pain ceases as my body warms.

He's behind me, I can feel it, and yet his presence, as comforting as it is, angers me more. It's because of him that I didn't tell Jake about Jessica, it's because of him that Jake won't answer my calls, it's because of him that I have a hard time even berating myself for betraying my best friend, and it's because of him that I can't stop thinking about him. This is all his fault.

"Bite me," I snarl at him, whipping my head around, the rage tearing through me.

It's my second stupid decision of the day, and considering it's only eight o'clock in the morning, it must be some sort of a record for me. Regardless, when I see him- all strong chin and bright green eyes and cocky grin- I feel more wobbly and unstable than before.

"I didn't know you were into that," he replies, lifting his eyebrow. The small gesture sends a tingle of warmth from my toes to the tip of my fingers…dear god.

Is he flirting with me? Oh, holy fuck, no…this is dangerous, and stupidly, it thrills me. It makes my insides flip and flop and burn and a million other corny things. Just like that kiss made me feel, that dangerous and oh, so stupid kiss. I can't believe I did something so incredibly dumb. Since when am I so stupid? I'm supposed to be the smart one!

Quickly, I avert my attention from him and back to my phone; the conflicting sensations are too much to handle and I'm hoping if I ignore him the urge to stupidly kiss him again will go away, but it doesn't. Instead, this action causes my free fall into oblivion to come to an abrupt end, and I find myself in a twisted, alien world. I watch in the screen of my phone as Edward leans forward and snaps his teeth together in a biting motion just by my neck, a growl emitting from his chest, and my heart stops cold. Sweet, baby Jesus…My pussy throbs at the sound of his growling, such a feral animalistic sound, and Edward chuckles, leading me to wonder if he knows that I need a new pair of panties. No, of course not, how could he? Snap out of it, Bella!

"Why don't you go play in on-coming traffic?" I snap, watching Edward take a seat in the chair next to mine as my thighs clench together.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that his shoulders fall a little and his eyes narrow. He opens his mouth to say something, but instead he closes it again. The scent of cinnamon in his cologne hits me like a battering ram and I have to choke back the lump that rises in my throat. Why are these chairs so fucking close together? Why does this gigantic room suddenly feel so stiflingly small?

Clutching my phone, I imagine myself standing and rushing out of the room, down the stairs, out the front door. I contemplate how far I could run until my legs would give out and I'd be able to breathe again. Unfortunately, there's no hope of this actually happening, especially not today. Today is the first day that the two of us are in charge. Dad will be here to monitor us of course, but Edward and I are going to be calling the shots, and I can't fuck this up. I can't ruin the one thing that still feels real and normal; I won't lose this.

"Listen," I look over at Edward, letting out a deep breath to steady myself as much as possible. For the past few days, I've refused to look at him, well, really look at him anyway because of what happened with Garrett and Kate, but I refuse to take down my defenses. I can't allow it. Deep breaths, Bella. Get a hold of yourself. I try to think encouraging thoughts, hoping to snap myself back into normalcy, but when I take in his face, my body has other ideas; I nearly lose all of my control at the sight of him. His eyes peer into mine and they're so bright, lit up like polished emeralds glistening in the morning sun. It's breath taking- literally. My lungs constrict, my mouth salivates, my palms sweat, and for a moment, I just freeze, I become a prisoner of his gaze unable to move or think or speak. My entire body thrums with a fiery electricity in a not so unpleasant way, and my hand twitches with longing, to touch…to feel. He runs a hand through his hair, in a gesture of frustration. He's waiting for me to finish talking, and the movement breaks the hold he has on me, my breathing resumes. The fear though, the fear remains, remains and increases, driving my mouth to speak without thought. "I'm-, I'm sick of disappointing my dad so let's-, well, let's just try not to kiss-, _kill,_ let's try not to _kill_ each other today. We've got that party tonight and I can't get piss-ass drunk in a jail cell."

I notice the slip up as soon as I make it and I try to recover, rushing through the rest of my words. It's too late. Edward's grinning like the cat that ate the fucking canary. He knows; he knows that I'm thinking about the kiss. My cheeks warm considerably until they're so hot that it seems my face will melt away. I might as well have a tattoo across my forehead that says 'I'm at your mercy'. Jesus…someone kill me, anyone, please. I rest my head in my hands in an attempt to hide the blush and while I'm contemplating the many ways I could commit suicide, my skin tingles with a newfound vigor. Even with my eyes shut and my face covered, I can sense him leaning into me, his breath hitting my neck.

"If you keep blushing like that, I'm not making any promises," he whispers.

I pry my hands from my face as he leans back, all cocky and self assured, and I know if he wasn't driving me crazy before on purpose, he will be now. The fear in me overflows, my stomach pulsing with the threat of vomit, and I'm about to jump out of my chair and run. That is until my dad walks in and hands us our task sheets for the day ahead. Running is no longer an option, no, I have to fight fire with fire. I throw Edward a sideways glance and he gives me a crooked smile. Let the flames begin...

**Normally, I'd say something funny here, but I just don't have anything to say. Well, I take that back, I do have something to say, and I'm sure no one will like it... To tell you all the truth, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do this. I love you all and I love writing for you and this story IS important to me, but there's this novel idea in my head and it's screaming to be written, just screaming! Seriously, every time I sit down to write, it's itching for my attention, and it's pushing me off course, making it extremely difficult to write Hot Mess. Every spare thought I have is consumed by this new, amazing idea, and deep down, I know this novel is what I'm meant to write. I've never had a story take hold of me like this. It's almost as if writing it feels RIGHT to me, and writing anything else feels wrong, if that makes any sense.  
**

**That said, I plan to finish Hot Mess and I plan on having the first Lemon chapter out next week. However, I need you all to know how important this Novel idea is to me, and if after this next chapter, I only update once a month or sporadically, I hope you all understand why and that you don't give up on me because I'm not giving up on you or this story. It's simply that I have no choice anymore, this novel wants to be written and with my limited amount of time, that's what I have to do.  
**


	14. Sex on Raging Fire

**As promised, here is chapter 14, the lemon chapter. =) Yes, I know that makes you all infinitely happy, it makes me happy too. Not nearly as happy as all your wonderful comments last week though. I can't believe how many of you were so supporting about my novel, thank you for you faith in me and your patience. I love you all! =D Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but Dirty Edward, I missed you! Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Inspiration for this chapter came from Control by Puddle of Mudd. I know, weird, right? You would have thoughts Kings of Leon, but nope.  
**

**Chapter 14**

**Sex on Raging Fire**

"And where two raging fires meet together, they do consume the thing that feeds their fury." ~ William Shakespeare

**EPOV**

My eyes are locked on her, unable and unwilling to move. Bella stands across from me, holding a cup filled with rum and coke, chatting pleasantly with Eleazar and Carmen Denali about their daughter, Kate. Charlie wanted us to come and talk to them since they're here for the party, so here we are, within groping distance of each other after an intense day playing a game of lustful chicken.

Ever since this morning, it's been one torturous event after another. She sat next to me on the fire engine when we got a call; I retaliated by 'accidentally' grazing her thigh with mine. She walked into the common room in nothing, but a towel, and I countered by pulling off my shirt because it was 'too hot'. All day it's been like this, which is why my cock feels like it's going to implode at any moment.

Thankfully, Carmen and Eleazar seem to be oblivious. The two are completely attentive to the conversation. Eleazar's blue eyes and Carmen's hazel ones are both alight with interest, their olive skin shimmering under the soft glow of the light in the bar. Carmen's blonde hair is pulled back, and Eleazar's hand massages her neck as they laugh and prattle on. I wonder what they would think if they knew that despite nodding at all the right moments, I could bet good money that Bella's not paying attention to either of them. I'm sure the hell not.

It's not that Eleazar and Carmen aren't a fun, cool, older couple; it's just that I have other things on my mind- like Bella and the piece of sin she's wearing that she somehow believes is a dress.

The thin black fabric fits her like a second skin, stretching across her flat stomach, curving to the contours of her tits, and barely covering her ass, and all I want to know is what the hell she's got on underneath of it.

"We were kind of sad when Kate decided not to join the EMS, but in the end, we only want her to be happy." Carmen's voice drifts through the fog in my mind, but none of the words stick because Bella's playing with her straw, twirling it, sliding her fingers along the sides of the smooth surface.

She knows I'm watching, I know she does, because she wets her lips with her tongue and giggles when I hiss out a breath of air, causing a stop to the conversation. All three of them look at me- Carmen and Eleazar with perplexed expressions and Bella with a knowing one.

"Sorry, drink's a little strong," I say with a not so fake wince. I feel as if I've been kicked in the balls.

My cock pulses into my zipper and I nearly choke on my own spit because it feels incredible. I haven't cum in my pants since I was 14, but the possibility seems more and more likely as this day ticks by. I take a few large sips of my drink, enjoying the burn as the alcohol slides down my throat. It's a small distraction, an almost welcome distraction from the torturous ache in my groin. At least it allows me to suck in a small breath of air as my body trembles, and I clutch the side of the table that I'm leaning against. It's all so intense, so excruciating, but god, I want more. If it's possible to die from blue balls more lust just might kill me, I can't find it in myself to care though…what a way to fucking go…

"Oh, Tanya, there you are! Come over here!" Carmen yells out and Bella stiffens, her back going rigid as she glares at me over her drink, and I can't believe I didn't see it before- in her eyes, in the way they gloss over. My god, she's jealous! I'm tempted to laugh, but I won't, instead, I can use this to my advantage.

Using all my strength, I turn my focus from Bella to the strawberry blonde that appears at the table. She's wearing a mini skirt and a red tube top that screams, 'I'm a whore', and before my kiss with Bella, I might have liked it, I might have even snuck off with her and found a way to get into her panties. Now, it doesn't matter, she's simply not what I want, the only girl's panties I want to rip off, preferably with my teeth, are Bella's, but that doesn't mean I can't make Bella think otherwise.

"Hey, Tanya," I greet her with a sexy tone that makes other girls swoon.

Tanya tries to give me a seductive grin in reply, but her expression is more whore-like than attractive. Quickly, she strikes up a conversation with her aunt and uncle about how nice everyone is at the fire station while I do my best to pretend to be engaged by her words.

"And everyone is so sweet, it's like family," Tanya coos, smiling in that fake way she does so well.

"Yep, one, big happy family," I agree, and give Tanya a wink. "That doesn't make you my sister though, does it? I certainly hope not."

She laughs and so do Carmen and Eleazar. However, out of the corner of my eye I see that Bella doesn't find my flirting very funny, she's seething- perfect. Tanya smacks at my arm playfully, making me want to cringe, and apparently, it has much of the same affect on Bella because she can't stand the heat anymore. She gulps down the rest of her rum and coke, and plasters on a smile.

"Excuse me, it seems I need a new drink," she announces, rushing off towards the bar, and boy, do I enjoy watching her go, the sway of her hips, the stride of her legs in those fuck me heels, and I can't force myself to stay in place. I have to follow her.

I stand up and gesture to the bathroom, clearing any wondering gazes before I walk off in the direction that I saw Bella take, careful to avoid the others that came tonight, which isn't all that hard. Alice and Jasper left earlier, Rose and Emmett have disappeared, and Charlie's off some where talking with Esme, Carlisle, and Renee. The bar is big (I guess that's what happens when it's the only fun place in a tiny town), making it easy to spot the four of them when I see their table, and being extra cautious, I manage to avoid them completely. The big bar doesn't make it easy for me to find Bella though. Lucky for me, she's surprisingly, exactly where she said she would be, at the bar. That's strange...she really does want another drink. She's already had three. Bella's a major lightweight, she might not be able to stand after another.

"HELLO!" Bella screams at the bartender, Ben Cheney, who's flirting with Angela from dispatch at the other end of the bar. The noise and music are so loud that he doesn't hear her and she's pissed. Sick of waiting, I watch as she bends over the counter to get her own alcohol, and the sight that greets me makes me completely lose my shit…I've been wondering what she's wearing under that dress for the past two hours, and now that I know, I'm done playing games. My stomach coils, my cock throbs with a whole new level of intensity, and I stalk over to her, grab her by the arm, and drag her into the dark hall that has a sign over it that says Employees Only as she shouts at me.

"What the-, Let go of me!"

I see the words 'Stock Room' on the door as a blur. I'm shocked I see it at all, with what transpired seconds ago replaying in my mind on a loop- bare skin, smooth, pink, and wet. My stomach coils, my balls tighten, and with a deep groan of defeat, I pull Bella into the stock room, into the darkened space, slamming the door behind me and locking it in place.

My hands wander on the wall, finding the light switch after what feels like forever. The dim light flickers on above us, basking the room in a weak light, enough to see her face, to make out the expression there- anger and shock.

"What the fuck is your problem, Edward? In case you haven't noticed, you grabbed the wrong girl. You want that skanky bitch at the table, remember?"

Her eyes sparkle with a fiery rage, her hair sticking to the sides of her face as the temperature in the tiny room rises and my thoughts are taken over by my cock instead of my brain. I'll take the defeat, I'll be the one to fuck her raw, to give into the incessant, nagging urge to claim that's been driving us both insane. Fuck what comes after this, fuck the consequences, she's mine.

"Shut up, Bella!" I growl, pushing her back onto a stack of boxes as my arms encircle her waist, slamming myself against her.

"UGH!" she gasps when she feels it, the steel rod that's taken me over, that grinds into her pussy covered by nothing more than the fabric of my jeans.

Nothing, god, she's wearing nothing. Without thought, I reach down, underneath the sin of a dress, intent on feeling her, on slipping my hands across the delicate, erotic skin there, and when my fingers touch it, when I feel her moist cunt beneath my hand it's more than I can bear. My balls tighten, my cock stiffens, and I cum so hard that my legs shake and crumble beneath me, sending me crashing to the ground on my knees.

"Fuck!" I scream out as the cum spurts into my jeans, my face suddenly eye-level with her dripping wet core, and despite my release, I still want it, I still want her. Instantly, I'm hard again as if she's put some wicked spell on me and I love it.

My fingers slide across her swollen lips and Bella's head falls back, a provocative, porn star moan leaving her lips as I gaze up at her in wonder, in awe.

"My god…" The words leave my mouth in a whisper, and I pull her pussy apart with my fingers, licking my lips with desire as I watch her writher and squirm in my hand.

"Edward…holy…oh, UGH!" she cries out, her legs spreading out wider and I'm overcome with the sudden need to taste her.

Cautiously, slowly, I lean my head forward and just before my mouth touches her, her eyes snap open, a deep moan leaves her lips.

"Oh, jesus…yes, lick my pussy, lick me fucking dry," she mumbles, a pleading tone to her voice, want in her eyes, and I can't move, I'm overwhelmed, amazed by how direct she is, how filthy- it's exactly what I've always wanted, a woman who can keep up with me, and now that I have it, I'm in complete shock. Thankfully, Bella knows exactly what to do. "I'm not asking."

She grabs my head, weaving her fingers into my hair as she tugs my face into her cunt, making contact between my month and her clit. "Lick my cunt and don't fucking stop until I cum all over your sexy face."

Sexy…she thinks I'm sexy. The thought is forgotten as the taste of her, of honeysuckle and sex reaches my tongue, and like a shark to blood, it drives me into a frenzy, a pussy eating frenzy. I wrap my lips around her clit and stroke her with my tongue as I spread her apart with my fingers, lapping at her, devouring her while my mind goes blank.

"YES! Just like that!" Bella screams, her fingers digging into my scalp as I lick every inch of her, the smell of her flooding my brain, her taste coating my mouth.

"Mm, so good, Bella, ugh," I groan into her pussy, the words muffled and she whimpers in reply.

"Fuck, your tongue feels so good…don't stop, don't stop!"

Her words, there killing me, burrowing under my skin and driving me mad. I have to fight back, the competitor in me won't allow her to think she's better at this. A grin pulls at my lips, a wicked thought entering my mind. I pull back and Bella cries out in despair.

"No!" She bucks her hips towards my face, the hem of her dress riding up against the box she's sitting on, her fingers twirling tightly around my hair. "I told you not to fucking stop! I swear to god, Edward, you better fucking finish what you started or I will shackle you down and torture you within an inch of your sanity."

My mouth salivates, my body thrumming at the idea…torture, delicious torture- hours upon hours of dirty, filthy torture.

"God, that's fucking sexy," I murmur, shoving my fingers into her with a force that makes her squeal, wiggling them around inside of her as she pants for air.

"Jesus. Fucking. Christ. UGH!"

I chuckle at her reaction and she glares at me hard until I lean forward and I'm an inch away from where she wants me, all the while drilling my fingers into her in a rhythm that makes her throb around my fingers.

"Please, please," she begs, tugging on my hair, but I hold myself back, my lips curling into a crooked grin.

"You like my mouth on you, Bella?" I tease her, twisting my digits to press against her g-spot and her back bows, her head falls back. "Because I love licking your cunt and I want you to cum in my mouth, I want you to fucking cum for me so I can clean you off and fuck you raw."

With that said, I dive back in, sucking her clit hard as I curl my fingers inside of her and she explodes. Her body shakes with tremors, her pussy clamps down around my fingers and her taste floods them, all the while she's screaming out my name. Damn right… With each lick after that she quivers beneath me, her thighs clenching in an attempt to keep me back and I devour every last drop that she's spilled.

When I'm done, when I've gotten my fill, I grasp onto her dress with hunger in my eyes, my cock throbbing as badly as it was when we started. She's ready again; the need in her chocolate brown eyes says it all. One swift pull is all it takes to remove her dress and as I lean her back onto the cardboard boxes, she whimpers with desperation.

"Are you ready for me, Bella?" I ask and she nods. "Good, because once I start, I'm not going to stop."

I slide my hands up her body, wrapping them around her to unclasp her bra. It comes free with a tug, exposing her perfect, perky tits with their straining nipples. The bra falls from my hold, my eyes unable to leave the form sprawled out before me- naked, sweaty, and delirious.

She reaches for me, tugging on my button up shirt.

"Off, I want it off," she pants, pulling at the fabric. A few of the buttons pop, and she drags the shirt off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as she hums with pleasure, eyeing my body. "Sweet lord…kiss me, kiss me so I can taste myself on your lips."

My insides flip, my cock twitches- perfection.

"Anything," I whisper, smashing my lips to hers, my hands gravitating to her hips, pressing into her skin.

I feel her hands on my zipper, hear the sound of the teeth separating, and I moan into her mouth, twirling my tongue across hers as she reaches into my jeans and pulls my cock free. It takes all the energy left in myself not to cum in her hand. She breathes out a burst of breath when she realizes how slick and wet I am, and I release her lips.

"I couldn't wait… I've been thinking about you all day, about bending you over and fucking you deep and hard…just touching you, it was too much," I speak softly, with my eyes shut firmly, my face a breath away from hers. "You make me feel so weak."

"Yeah, me too," she replies and her lips find mine again, her hand slipping along my length. When she pulls away, I feel dizzy and maybe a little sick, but I forget everything when she says, "Now break me."

At her request, I press my cock to her soaked entrance and slowly push forward, stretching her walls. Bella's hands find my shoulders, her nails burrow into my back and the world disappears, the past fades away, and all that there is, is now, this moment, and I'm damn sure going to make the best of it. I bury myself in her, as far back as I can go. When I'm fully engulfed by her she sighs, a deep, content sigh and I know exactly why. It's home, this is fucking home.

"How do you want me, Bella?" I whisper, trailing my mouth to her neck, nibbling at her skin. "Tell me, I want to hear you say the words."

"Fuck me, Edward. Fuck me like you own me." Her voice is a soft breeze in my ear that sends a shiver up my spine. I curl my fingers into her hips and slowly increase my speed, while tasting her neck with my tongue, sucking her skin with my lips. "Oh, god."

"Not god," I respond in a growl. "Edward. I want you to say _my _fucking name while I'm claiming you, only mine...Tell me who's making you feel like this? Who's fucking you? Who owns you right now?"

"Edward!" She cries out, clutching my shoulders tighter as my cock slides in and out of her perfect body. "You feel so good, so fucking good!

"That's it, you're such a good girl, Bella, such a good fucking bitch."

"Oh, fuck, yes! Treat me like your whore… Make me cum, Edward. Make me cum on your cock like the filthy fucking bitch I am."

"Is that what you want, slut?" I grunt, thrusting faster and harder. "You want to cover me with your cum, to mark me as yours?"

"Yes! Yes, Edward!"

In the back of my mind, a part of me is certain, I'm already hers, that there's no going back from here, but I drown that part out, intent on making Bella explode beneath me. Confident, I reach between us, pinching her clit between my fingers, feeling her cunt pulsating in my hand. My mouth trails down to her taut nipples. I suck one between my lips and she shudders, her walls shaking, trembling around me.

"I can feel it, Bella…oh fuck, I can feel you clenching around me. You're so close." I say, my own insides coiling in anticipation. "What are you waiting for? Cum on my cock, mark me."

"Shit…bite me, Edward!" she growls through clenched teeth and the room spins, my eyelids flutter. Without hesitating, my mouth takes place over her heart and my teeth clamp down, a vicious, feral growl erupting from within me. It's the bite, that kinky, dirty act, which pushes her over the edge, and while she crumbles around me, it drives me into animal mode.

In an instant, my right hand latches around her hair, pulling her head to the side, and with a roar, I begin plowing into her, driving forward with a need greater than release. A need that screams, Mine! MINE!

"Mine! _My_ Bella! UGH! I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum inside you, tell me you want it. Tell me, Bella! Fucking tell me your mine."

As I pull her hair, clenching my fingers in the silky soft strands, she explodes a second time, her eyes drifting backwards into her head at the overload of pleasure.

"I'm yours…cum for me…cum for me now, Edward."

The coil in my stomach snaps and my cock expands inside her as she slams her hips into mine. My skin, slick with sweat, glides across hers, the noise of slapping skin echoing through the small space, and it's the only thing I hear other than my own heavy breathing and the sound of my name on Bella's lips, which I muffle with a kiss. I cum the moment our mouths find one another, and the two Bella's in my mind mingle into one. The little things I've hated about her seem trivial in the space of time where our lips touch, and our chests rise and fall as one. She can be the Bella I want and still be her because in the end it doesn't matter. I want her still…I want all of her…the good, the bad, all of it. The future flashes in my mind, infinite and wide- full of nights like this where we curl into each other, days of fun and happiness. I've finally found my reason for being here and I feel lighter than I've ever felt.

I nuzzle my face into her neck, breathing in her honeysuckle scent, basking in the glow of her. Then suddenly, I remember the phone call to Port Angeles and the talk with Chief Volturi and my calm is replaced by the deepest fear I've ever known…oh my god…what have I done?

**Well, to answer your question, Edward. You majorly fucked yourself over, good job, numb nuts. lol Anyway, so was it worth the wait and UST? Let me know. I've got to clean up now...CLEAN the house that is! Jeez, get your mind out of the gutter, perverts. Lol =D**

***Special Note to my fire/ambulance crew: How do you like Dirty Bella, boys? Was she everything you wanted?

****I'm still sending review replies for last two chapters, please forgive me for my tardiness. I'm not ignoring any of you, just been very busy.  
**


	15. Into the Flame

***Sigh* Well, I already typed all the author's notes, but my computer froze on me so I guess I get to do it again. First off, I am truly sorry for the wait on this chapter and that it is shorter than normal. I just didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. I have missed you all so much! Sadly, I haven't had much time to write lately, not even for my novel (I'm only about 2,000 words in thus far) because I've been working 9-12 hours a day at my "part time" job. We got a new client, and needless to say it has added a ton of work. So by the time I get home, I'm utterly exhausted and all I want to do is sleep, read, or drool on the couch while I watch t.v. Plus, my husband has had the last 4 Saturdays off so I haven't even had anytime to write on the weekends. But mostly, the delay in this update is because I'm just wiped out. However, I've really missed writing for you all so yesterday, after working a 9 hour day, I did all my chores for this weekend so I could devote the entire day today to finishing this chapter and I'm thrilled to share it with you. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but I wish Dirty Edward would make me something to eat, or let me eat him. =D lol Enjoy and please review!**

**Oh, one more thing though. Seeing as tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of September 11, I would like to take a moment to thank all the men and women who risk their lives everyday to protect us, whether they be military, fire, ambulance, or police. Our world would be a very sad place to live without these people. As for those who died on that fateful day 10 years ago, they are gone, but not forgotten. Even though I was only 13 at the time, I was deeply saddened that day at the loss of so many people from an act of such blatant cruelty. It still makes me sad to think that there is such evil in the world, that people will kill other human beings out of hate and a lack of respect for your fellow man. It's not that hard to put your differences aside. Terrorists tried to tear us apart that day, but in the end, it only brought us closer together and they failed. The only thing they did was tear away thousands of people from their loved ones who didn't deserve to die. We will never be the same and we will never forget. 9-11-01  
**

**Chapter 15**

**Into the Fire**

"Out of the frying pan, into the fire."~ Tertullian

**BPOV**

One minute his face is buried in the crook of my neck, his breath hot against my skin, and the next, he's pulling away, dressing himself, his expression one of panic. I don't know what's happened. Did I do something wrong?

"No, I did," Edward says, and I realize that I spoke aloud. Damn…how much rum was in those rum and cokes I had?

Reaching up, I place a hand on my forehead, nearly poking myself in the eye. Apparently, it was a lot more rum than I thought- so much for driving home. I bend forward to pick up my bra and dress, almost catapulting myself to the floor. I somehow manage to dress myself despite the fact that the alcohol is making me feel wobbly, blissful, and confused. Then again, maybe that's just the result of the most amazing sex I've ever had. I really can't be sure. Either way, I'm far too impaired to operate a vehicle and I want to go home. I want to sleep.

"Can you take me home?"

I can hear the slur in my words. The room spins and I try to focus on Edward to keep myself from getting dizzy. Even my own thoughts feel like they're going in circles. I've never been this drunk.

He stops with his fingers on the middle button of his shirt, a frown pulling down his perfect lips- lips that brought me the most intense pleasure I've ever experienced. I wonder if they still taste like me, me with just a hint of cinnamon. The thought makes me wet- well, wetter anyway. He starts to talk, and I watch his lips move, forming words that I'm too distracted to hear. How can talking be so fucking erotic? My thighs are tingling with want, and I reach for him, resting my hand on his chest as his lips cease their movement. I let out a frustrated whimper, and a sudden smile lights up his face, making me sigh.

"I like this Edward."

I hear my inner thoughts blurted out and embarrassment washes over me, my face flushes with heat. The Edward I've always known would say something cruel right about now, but he simply touches his hand to my burning cheek and leans forward so that his eyes are level with mine. His eyes have always been hauntingly sharp, but now they're kind and unbelievably beautiful. I stare, unable to look away, memorizing these new eyes. A circle of bright green surrounds a swirl of darker green, and scattered throughout the lush color are specks of shimmering gold, reminding me of a forest splotched with spots of sunlight. I can't believe I've never noticed the gold before, and as he presses his lips softly to mine, I wonder how much I've missed about him until now. Who is the real Edward Cullen?

* * *

The next morning, I wake up to a pounding headache at the sound of my daily cell phone alarm, and automatically, I grab the pill case on my nightstand. I pop the Friday pill out of its foil pocket and swallow it with ease. Then, I roll over with a groan, inhaling the scent of cinnamon that coats my hair. It takes me only a second to remember how I got here, that Edward brought me home and I begged him to stay until I fell asleep. He must have left afterwards. Of course he did, its Edward. What the fuck was I thinking? My heart rate accelerates as the ramifications of what happened finally hit me. Not only did I become another notch on Edward's belt, but also he knows he affects me now and I'm sure he'll find some way to hold it against me. Great**¡ **My heart continues pounding and I grudgingly crawl out of bed. There's no point in trying to go back to sleep, I'm too far awake now.

After going to the bathroom, and downing a couple Tylenol, I wander into the kitchen, rubbing at my closed eyes as I wait for the medicine to kick in. A sharp pain zings through my temples at the sound of a cabinet closing and I flinch. Wait…I didn't make that noise. My eyes fly open and there he is, standing in the middle of my kitchen with no shirt on, staring down at the pan that he just pulled out with a smile of triumph. I can't believe he's here. I devour him with my gaze, taking in every inch of him, from his even messier than usual bed-head to his pants hanging around his waist, showing the prominent muscular 'V' shape of his pelvis. I think I may be drooling when he finally looks up at me and jumps in surprise, nearly dropping the frying pan in his hand.

"Fuck, Bella, what are you, a ninja? Make some sort of noise next time, will ya?"

The sound of his voice isn't irritating as usual, it's mesmerizing, and coupled with the crooked smirk that pulls at his lips, he's damn near lethal. I really want to say something witty and entrancing in response, but all I can think is that he said 'next time'. Next time…how often is this going to happen, that I'm going to wake up to him being here? I find myself hoping that it's a lot. My mind conjures images of him cooking for me in the mornings, of waking up beside him and sharing showers and lazy Sundays spent in bed. Heat courses through my body and I can't believe how enticing and comforting the images are. Why is the idea of this happening every morning make me so happy? What has he done to me? My eyes trail down from his exposed hipbone, and I realize that I can make out the shape of him beneath the fabric of his pants. The sight triggers flashes of last night and I moan, replaying exactly what he did to me in perfect, excruciating detail. That has to be the reason for this warmth I feel. The things he can do with his tongue and cock could probably make the blind see so it's no wonder I want more, and I definitely don't want to wait. My lips pull up in what I hope is a sultry smile and I walk towards him only to be assaulted by the throbbing ache in my forehead. Wincing, I groan in disappointment and reach up to rub my temples. Not now, you stupid brain! Like a petulant child, I stomp my foot hard. It's a move that I regret immediately because the hangover has removed all grace and balance from my body.

My foot slips on the linoleum and I brace myself for the impact of the floor, but it never comes. Instead, there's a loud bang as the pan hits the ground and I'm being held up by a strong, yet gentle hold. I hiss at the pain that shoots through my head at the loud sound, feeling the room spin, still a headache is better than the bruises I surely would have had. Not to mention my view at the moment is more than worth it. Edward hovers over me with his arm encircling my waist, igniting a fiery spark in my stomach and the scent of him overwhelms me. I can't breathe without inhaling it, without inhaling him. It makes me forget all about my headache or maybe that's just the Tylenol kicking in. Regardless, his face is close enough that I can see those same gold flecks that I discovered last night and the day's worth of stubble that adorns his chin. I want to touch it, to feel the competing textures of his soft skin and rough hair, a physical representation of the new Edward mixed with the old, smooth and coarse, tender and rash.

"Stand much?" Edward quips with a chuckle, the old Edward, but a kinder version that makes me want to laugh with him.

I reach up to cup his cheek and Edward's gaze softens from amusement to something else, this is the new Edward who is charming, thoughtful, and enthralling. My breathing halts at his expression and I'm in heaven…or possibly hell because my insides are on fire. How can it be so hot without it hurting? I'm struck by a wave of understanding and the fire in me scorches every bit of me that wants to scream in protest. I shouldn't let this happen, it can't happen…but it is. In the passing of an instant, my heart stops beating and then it starts again, fluttering to life in my chest and beating a whole new rhythm…only now I don't believe it beats for me. I wonder what I've gotten myself into as I pull his face down to mine and my lips find there place in the world, pressing firmly onto his.

It's not long before Edward pulls away, a wide grin on his face. Why is he stopping? I don't want to stop. I can feel that he wants me, at least my body anyway because he's rock hard against me. Yet when I try to kiss him again, he shakes his head disapprovingly.

"You need to eat," he says. "It'll help with the headache."

As soon as he mentions it, the headache comes barreling back with a new vigor and I allow him to help me to my feet and to a chair at the kitchen table. I can't help noticing that wherever his skin touches mine it burns marvelously. Does he feel it too?

When he lets go, I shiver at the loss, uncertainty weighing down on me. This is bad…this is so bad. Then why does it feel so good? I'm caught between reveling in the new feeling that's bubbling in me or cursing it. From all I've heard, nothing good ever comes from girls feeling this way about Edward. That's why I'd rather not think on it or even worse, say it. That would not be a good idea. My hands are shaking and I press them into my thighs to try to stop their movement. Get a grip, Bella!

I force my thoughts away and resolve to watch Edward move across the kitchen as he gathers ingredients from the fridge, and combines them in the frying pan on the stove. While he cooks, my eyes stay focused on his exposed upper body and firm backside. I simply can't look away. Soon, the delicious aroma of eggs, onions, cheese, and bacon floods the kitchen, making my mouth salivate. Okay, so I'll admit that my mouth watering is probably more due to Edward than the food, but the food does smell amazing.

Eventually, he turns around with a freshly plated omelet and a smug expression on his face, as if he knows that I was staring at him the whole time. The blush that flares on my cheeks isn't much of a denial.

He places the plate down in front of me and hands me a fork. I expect, or hope really, that he'll sit with me, but he walks towards the door. My heart plummets into my gut. Okay… this is bad, really, really bad.

"Wait! Where are you going? Stay and eat with me."

In reply, he shakes his head and says, "Just enjoy your breakfast, Bella. I've got something I have to do."

"Oh, uh, okay," I murmur, trying to sound nonchalant as a nauseous feeling hits me that has nothing to do with the food and everything to do with rejection.

I think I hear him apologize as he leaves, but I'm too hurt to care. Sorry for what, that he doesn't want to stay? Or that he can sense how I feel and he doesn't feel the same? Jeez, I'm an idiot.

After I push around the food on my plate for a while, I spend the rest of my morning wallowing and trying to call Jake. He's always been there for me, but not now. By noon, I'm sick of trying to get him to answer his phone so I call Emmett. He picks up on the second ring.

"Hey, Bells, how's it going?"

I can't tell him the truth so I lie.

"Fine. I was wondering if you wanted to take a trip to the cliffs with me?"

What I don't tell him is that is where Jake and I would always go to talk and it would feel weird going there by myself. Thankfully, he doesn't seem to care about the why and he agrees. Jacob would have wanted to get the whole scoop before going, but Emmett isn't Jake…an idea suddenly pops in my head of something else Jake would never agree to. I've wanted to jump from the top of the cliff since we were teenagers and Jake wouldn't let me, instead forcing me to jump from lower down, and I never had the nerve to do it alone or with Quil. That didn't stop Jake from doing it once though, to impress some girl on the reservation. Well, now he can't stop me. I blurt out the question before I lose my nerve.

"Have you ever been cliff diving?"

**EPOV**

I press my forehead against the glass of Charlie's office door, and the cool pane on my skin makes my body shiver. The phone, it's right there on the desk, so close and yet so far away. Desperate, I jiggle the handle. Still locked.

"Fuck," I hiss under my breath and with a sigh, I walk away. I can't be caught there, lurking outside the chief's office. It's too suspicious, as it should be. I'm not working today and besides, my intentions aren't exactly golden.

The thought reminds me of that stupid saying, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'. That may be true for some people, but for me, not so much. My particular road to hell is paved with selfishness and idiocy. I thought I was in control, I thought I knew what I wanted, and I was wrong. Now the world is conspiring against me, making it impossible for me to change my course.

Charlie never locks his door, never. This is the universe's way of telling me I'm screwed, that I have no control over my path. Well, this isn't over, universe, not by a long shot.

**One fish, two fish, red fish, review this! Yay, I rhymed! Yeah...I know that was pretty pathetic, but give me a break I'm tired. Besides, I want you guys to review because you want to. Plus, I've really missed receiving messages from you all and the smiles that light up my face when I read them. I did actually get a few messages from several of you, which I enjoyed immensely. Speaking of which, NeeNee, I did get your pm, but I totally forgot about replying and now it's lost amongst my inbox somewhere so I'll just reply here. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!...That's it. Lol I LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL!**


	16. Icy Fire

**YAY for a new chapter! YAY! It's been a busy last few weeks, spent last weekend camping at a car show (west coast nationals), been swamped at work (helping new co-workers learn the ropes, and processing work for new clients), and my husband got a new job (well, kind of, working for the same company, but at a different location making more money =D). Anyway, I appreciate your patience. Moving on...yes, I know, the quote for this chapter is used far too often in fan fiction, but I honestly thought it was perfect for this chapter and I hope you'll agree. Now get to reading, I don't want you to have to wait any longer. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but I don't care if Dirty Edward is hot or cold, as long as he's very very filthy. LOL Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 16**

**Icy Fire**

"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice."~ Robert Frost

**EPOV**

As I'm leaving the station, I crank the heat in the car, practically freezing even though it's in the 70s, which is odd for me. It seems that ever since I left Bella's this morning that I've felt unreasonably cold, maybe it's because I always feel like I'm on fire when I'm with her...Whatever. I don't have time to think about that. Instead, I drive around for a while, trying to wrap my head around more important things. I can't believe Charlie's door was locked. It's never locked. I wonder if he knows…No, if he did he would say something, wouldn't he? I'm not sure. I flip flop with the idea as I drive and eventually, I end up at Esme and Carlisle's house. I'm not sure when I made the decision to come here or if I did at all, but Esme runs out before I even shut the car off so it's too late to high-tail it out of there.

I'm barely out of the car and her arms are around me. Like always, she smells of apples and cinnamon, and the comfort of her hold makes me feel guilty. I should visit her more often, instead of just showing up for the occasional dinner. The guilt increases when she kisses me on the cheek with the tenderness of a mother, which is understandable, she's always been like a second mother to me, she even looks so much like my mother that it's almost like my mom never completely died, she left a small piece of herself in this world to take care of us. At that thought, I hug Esme back a little tighter than normal, enough that both her and my mother will feel the love I carry for each of them.

Esme gasps, almost as if she knows what I'm doing and then, she pulls away, her eyes sparkling, a smile lighting up her face, which although scattered by a few wrinkles has lost little of its youthful beauty. I give a boyish smile in return and the tender moment is gone, Esme's back to her normal, exuberant self, shooing me inside.

"Come, come. I just made fresh cookies,"

I follow her across the lawn and find myself admiring the porch where I first saw Bella. It's no longer in shambles, restored now to its original beauty like the rest of the house. The restoration didn't take long, only a year or so, and the steps barely creak as I walk up them. If only I had a time machine, I'd go back and do that day right...I wouldn't have taken her words so harshly and we could have been friends and then slowly, steadily more. I stare at the wood, wishing so hard for it to change back to what it was, for time to reverse and my stupid mistake to disappear. It doesn't, and Esme pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?"

Plastering on a smile, I reply, "Yeah, sorry, distracted by the thought of cookies."

My stomach decides this is a good time to rumble, making my lie credible. Nice, even my body easily betrays people…

I hang out with my Aunt for a while, eating cookies and making polite conversation with her about the new bridge being built and Carlisle's upcoming retirement, but it's hard when all I can think about is Bella. Esme repeatedly has to ask if I'm okay and eventually, I can't deny it to myself anymore, I'm not okay. I want to be with Bella. Scratch that, I need to be with Bella. I don't feel right without her anymore, I feel cold, empty. Of course, I don't tell Esme that, I lie…stupid.

"I'm fine, just have a headache. I must have drunk too much at the party."

Esme's lips turn up into a smile as she nods and takes a sip of her lemonade.

"Alcohol will do that to you. It's poison to your body, delicious, delicious, poison, but still, poison all the same. "

She sets down her glass and grins at me while I chuckle and shake my head.

"Is this the 'Alcohol is bad talk'? Or are you saying as long as it's delicious, I can chug it as much as I want."

She laughs, a little twinkling laugh.

"I'm simply saying, it makes you do things you wouldn't normally do and you shouldn't let anything or anyone push you into something you don't want."

Her face turns serious and her gaze pulls away from mine. Her sudden change in mood confuses me and I feel the need to reassure her, to say something, though I have no idea what I should say. Bella's face comes to mind as I remember the night before, how the alcohol lowered my inhibitions so that I could pull her into the back room, and panic fills me. Did Esme see us? I choke back some lemonade, giving myself a moment to recuperate, piecing together the perfect words for a reply that will diminish her suspicion.

"Well, don't worry; I'm all about doing what _I_ want. You know that."

I laugh and she relaxes, the response reassuring her. The bad part is it also makes me feel like total crap. Doing what I want is what got me into this mess…maybe I should concentrate more on doing what I need and right now, I need to see Bella and I need to fix what I've done.

I tell Esme that I'm going to go home to rest and say a quick goodbye. I don't think she suspects the real reason for my departure. I'm aching to be with Bella and my body, knowing where I'm going, announces its need for her to. While I make the five-minute drive home, battling the now raging hard on I have, I consider my options as I did last night after Bella fell asleep, hoping that something new will come to mind, but all I can think of is the same 3 choices from before. Option 1: tell Bella what I did, apologize, and risk the high possibility of her hating me forever. As simple as this option seems, I can't imagine it would go well for us at all. Us…yeah, I'm pretty sure _us_ wouldn't happen if I choose that route, Bella would probably never forgive me and that would kill me. Option 2: sneak into Charlie's office or steal his cell phone in order to call the Port Angeles station again as Charlie, and convince Chief Volturi to let Bella out of the deal that I arranged so that no one ever finds out. This particular plan is easy in theory, but not so easy to execute now that the universe apparently hates me. Option 3: call Chief Volturi without pretending to be Charlie and secure the job for myself by whatever means possible. This option would solve all my problems, I wouldn't have to misuse Charlie's trust again and no one would ever know what I did, including Bella, but I can't stomach the outcome. I'd have to leave Bella, and despite the fact that I should leave, that she doesn't deserve someone like me who will be cruel, deceitful, and manipulative to get what they want, I don't have the strength to walk away. I'm just too selfish.

I pull into the driveway, coming to the same conclusion as last night; Option 2 is the best course of action, the only course of action as far as I'm concerned. I'll simply have to find some way to make it happen.

When I step out of my car, the first thing I notice is Bella's truck isn't parked in front of her house. Still, I knock and wait on her front step like an idiot, hoping she's not actually gone because I really need to see her. I even think about inviting her over to watch a movie while I wait. Sadly, there's no answer and a feeling of disappointment washes over me. I have a painful need to spend some more time with her…okay, so truthfully that need is about more than watching a movie. I'm rock solid here. That's not to say that I don't want to spend some time with her as well though. In fact, I'd like to get to talk to her more, maybe make her a nice, early dinner before I pull her into my bedroom, and afterwards, we could always watch a movie while we lay in bed together…Geez, when did I start thinking such girly thoughts? With a shake of my head, I retreat into my house alone with my cock throbbing and my chest aching. I'm not sure which need would have won out in the end, I guess it doesn't matter since she's not home anyway.

Ignoring my chest and groin, I sit down at the computer, which just so happens to be by the only window with a view of Bella's house. So I want to keep a look out for her, it's not as if it's a crime. Anyway, ever since Bella mentioned Char, I've found myself wondering how she is so I pull up her Facebook page. She's still with Peter, married now actually, and they're expecting their first child, _her_ second pregnancy, if you want to be technical about it. She looks happy in her pictures as if she knows that she made the right choice, perhaps she did. I can't imagine having a child with her, one with her blonde hair and my green eyes, looking like the perfect mixture of me and a woman I never loved and would probably never have loved. Not only would Char and I not have worked out, but also, I'm not ready to be a parent _now_, so how could I have been ready then. If it had been what Char wanted, I would have done it, I would have tried my best to be a great father. That's just not how it worked out, and I can't change the past. I won't allow that to happen again though, that's why I'm so adamant about protection. I'm not ready to be someone's daddy, who knows; maybe I'll never be ready. A sudden image pops in my head of a little girl with my bronze hair and Bella's chocolate brown eyes and my heart beats loud and frantic as a strange mixture of fear and excitement floods me. It's odd, but something feels right about that image even as I push it out of my mind. I don't know what to think so I don't. About ten minutes later, I realize that I've been gazing off thoughtlessly, staring at the glass windowpane instead of the windows on my computer screen. I finally let it sink in how truly pathetic I am.

"Get it together, man," I whisper to myself, and desperate to regain some of my manly ego, I force my attention back on the computer. Unfortunately, the site I've pulled up does nothing to improve my previous sense of self. Out of all the websites in the entire world, I've managed to end up on Bella's Facebook page. Wow, its official, I've turned into an obsessive stalker with a crush that rivals that of a teenage girl. Wonderful**¡**…Well, I guess it won't hurt to look at her page, seeing as I'm already on it.

Thankfully, her profile is public, just like Char's was, because I'm too hungry for Bella to be happy with just a few snippets of information and a profile picture. I want to know everything about her. I scan her page, taking in everything with new eyes- her favorite books, movies, music, it's all so close to my own. Soon, I'm devouring her pictures, studying each one as if it's a work of art. If only I could paint, every single portrait would have her in it- those deep, chocolate eyes, that wavy brown hair, I'm mesmerized by them, at least until I come across the pictures of her and Jake. There's so many of them laughing and smiling together, arms wrapped around each other. Looking at them makes my skin boil with jealousy, but underneath that, I'm happy to see her happy, they honestly seem like good friends and nothing more. I just don't like that he's been the one to make her happy for so long, that I was too stubborn to see how wonderful she was in the beginning. Those pictures could have been of us, kissing and laughing, smiling and holding each other…Damn it, Edward, stop being such a vagina! A chat window pops up, and I couldn't be happier for the distraction. I need to find my balls again and the only way to do that is to stop thinking about Bella, no matter how much I don't want to. A second message comes up right below the other and as soon as I see the name, I know why, my sister has absolutely no patience.

_Alice Masen-Cullen: What are you doing?_

_Alice Masen-Cullen: …_

I pull up my home page before sending off a reply. Even if she can't see what I'm doing, I feel awkward chatting with her while I'm on Bella's page.

_Edward Masen-Cullen: Nothing, just enjoying my day off. How's work going?_

_Alice Masen-Cullen: Boring. It's dead around here, but you would know that considering you stopped by earlier..._

Shit…I thought I had been in and out quick enough for no one to notice. What should I say?

_Alice Masen-Cullen: Why didn't you bother to come say hi to me? __**: (**__ You've been avoiding me. I know we're having some troubles, but we've always talked our problems out before._

I breathe out a deep sigh of relief, glad that she doesn't suspect anything. Whew, that was close. If my sister had seen me trying to get into Charlie's office that would have been difficult to explain. The relief fades quickly when her words sink in. She thinks I'm avoiding her…well, aren't you? Ugh…I guess I have been keeping my distance. I didn't want to have that discussion with her about Char, but it has to happen eventually, might as well get it over with.

_Edward Masen-Cullen: I'm sorry, Ali. I just had to process some things…and about Char, I didn't tell Bella about that, she found out on her own. I didn't want to tell anybody because I was, well, ashamed, I guess. I offered to take care of her and the baby, but she had already decided that the abortion was what she wanted and I was supporting her…and deep down, I was somewhat glad that she made that decision; I didn't want to be a dad._

And there it is, the truth, right there in black and white. My stomach turns over as I read the words I've typed. It makes me feel terrible that I feel that way, but as I said, I would have done whatever Char had wanted. She was the one that made the decision. That's how I justify it to myself anyway.

_Alice Masen-Cullen: Oh, Edward…you're punishing yourself for feeling the way anyone else would feel and it's not the way you felt after the decision was made that matters, it's that you offered her your unwavering support in whatever she chose before you had known her choice. In the end, neither of you was ready or able to take care of a baby. You did what any good guy would do, you were there for her, and that's all that anyone could ask of you in that situation._

Knowing that Alice feels that way does make me feel a little better. However, a part of me will always feel wrong for not fighting for that child. If nothing else, I should have tried to convince Char to put it up for adoption. Regrettably, once again, what's done is done.

The screen refreshes and my eyes follow the movement to a new status update.

**Emmett McCarty**

**At La Push, Cliff Diving with Bella Swan and about to take my second jump. FUCKING AWESOME!**

Despite his overuse of capital letters and exclamation points, something I can't stand, all I can concentrate on is two words, Bella Swan, and a sharp stab of fear shoots through me, cold as ice. This is bad…I don't know how I know this, but I do.

Without replying to Alice, I jump out of the chair and race out to my car, not even bothering with shoes. All I can think is Bella…bella…bella. With every heartbeat her name pounds in my head, and by the time I get to the cliff diving point, a 15 minute drive that I cut down to 5, it's more like bellabellabella.

The wind is cool, and my feet slam against wet earth, screaming for me to stop with every twig that breaks and every rock that presses into them. I've never run this fast or this far and my lungs burn though I'm freezing. Finally, I reach the edge, just in time to see Bella standing on the precipice, her arms arched above her head. Her hair's already wet, meaning she's jumped before and she's in a wet suit because even though it's May the water is still cold. I don't have time to yell for her to stop, to scream and convince her that something's not right that I'm freezing and I have the worst feeling of doom, before she jumps head first off the side of the cliff and into the vast emptiness below.

**I know, I'M SORRY! It just had to end this way in order to set it up perfectly for the next chapter, forgive me! Hopefully, the next chapter will be posted up within two weeks, that's my goal. Hubby is working today (hence the new chapter), but he doesn't have next Saturday off so I won't have any time to write...Good news is that the next chapter _should_ be richly lemon flavored. ;) Yes, that also means Bella's not going to die...but I won't guarantee her being injured or uninjured, for that you'll just have to wait and see.**

**So, who out there wants a million dollars? An Aston Martin? Your very own Dirty Edward?...well I can't promise any of those things, but I can promise a pretty review reply to anyone that sends a review. What? It's just as good as any of those other things! =D**


	17. Unseen Smoke and Fire

**Sorry, but this is another short chapter. Let's just say life is being a bitch lately. My dog had to have all his teeth pulled because he wasn't eating and his teeth were infected, which of course cost me an arm and a leg. I got a promotion at work, which is both a good and bad thing because it means more money, but also more responsibility like making sure the others are doing their job (they all have attitude problem and don't want to actually work). ****Hm, doing the job that you're getting paid to do? Who would have thunk that's the way it works...*shakes head* Anyway! I'm sure you all want to get to reading so I'll let you get to it. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but I'll give Dirty Edward a job to do...Lol Enjoy and please review!  
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**Chapter 17**

**Unseen Smoke and Fire**

"There may be a great fire in our hearts, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passers-by see only a wisp of smoke."~ Vincent Van Gogh

**BPOV**

Soft, warm, and quiet…that's what my senses tell me before I open my eyes, and see the silky grass that cradles me and the empty meadow that surrounds me, edged by forest. I know immediately that I'm alone, but there is no anxiety, no fear. I'm untroubled by how I got here, simply accepting it as fact before sitting up slowly, and allowing my hands to brush along the vibrant green blades at my side that are bathed in sunlight. I don't find it odd that when I look up, I can't find the sun in the cloudy gray sky anywhere.

I'm not sure how long I sit in the silence, undisturbed by the lack of noise until one moment, all is still, and the next, there is movement. It seems to come from all directions, sounds of twigs snapping, rustling in the grass. The forest beyond the trees is alive again and I'm more curious than scared when I catch sight of a pack of wolves stepping out into the light, blocking me in, encircling me. They remain at a distance, allowing me to take in their subtle differences in size and color- one larger wolf has salt and pepper hair with a muzzle that's slightly more bushy than the others, a smaller one has hazel eyes and bronze colored hair that reminds me of someone…a name I can't remember. I don't linger on the thought, instead moving my gaze to the rest of the pack. As I scan across them all their features pop out at me, sandy hair and thoughtful blue eyes, rich brown fur and a cocoa stare, blonde fur and an icy blue gaze, black hair and more green, a burly wolf of brunette with hazel eyes, another blonde with a softer ice blue gaze- all different and strangely familiar. I could stare at them forever, but my attention is pulled away when a deep, russet colored wolf approaches me, and it's only when it bares its teeth at me with a growl that a trickle of fear enters me. My eyes dart around, trying to find an escape as the others begin to growl and I discover that it's already too late.

The rusty wolf lunges at me, but instead of teeth sinking into my skin, I feel the touch of warm arms as they grip me in a tight hug that smells of sandalwood- Jake. The name comes to me out of nowhere.

"I miss you," he says, the words confusing me. He lets out a sigh into my neck and I peer over his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Bells."

In an instant, the wolves have become people. Dad, Mom, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper are amidst the sea of faces, all smiling brightly with sharp, canine teeth…wolves in sheep's clothing.

Jake releases me, grinning with his wolf teeth, and my fear turns to terror as the forest stretches in front of my eyes, my feet suddenly pounding on the dirt as I run. They're chasing me, chasing me through the trees, and I can feel my heart pounding, my lungs straining for air. I glance behind me and see nothing, though I know the wolves dressed as people are there. I hear growling and I run faster as the edge of a river comes into view. The water is much too wide, but I jump anyway and with an inhuman leap, I land on the bank easily. For a second, I let myself think that I'm safe, before I realize that the wolves now back in their animal form are leaping too. I take off again, pounding over fallen logs as the sun sets too quickly and the moon appears in the sky- a piercing red, that makes the ground glow an eerie blood shade...the smell hits me, like rusted nails and I can feel the wetness coating my legs…no, it really is blood.

A scream escapes me as I slosh through the liquid, and the snarling grows closer. There's something up ahead, a house of some sort- a two-story white house with wrap around porches that tickles a memory in my brain that I can't quite grasp. The wolves start to howl and I don't care whose house it is, as long as I can get inside. I step onto the porch, though I was more than 50 ft away a second ago. I lift a hand to pound on the door, but there's no need, it opens before I can knock, and lean, strong arms grasp onto me, a mouth presses into mine. He smells of cinnamon and the way his tongue tousles with mine makes my knees weak. I let my hands slide into his messy copper/brown hair, twisting the strands in my fingers as he presses his body into mine and we tumble across the threshold into the house. His mouth lifts away for an instant and just before the door closes behind us, I notice the wolves, which have shifted back to people, standing on the lawn, and maybe it's only me, but they almost look smug…

Clothes fall to the floor without sound, hands press into flesh, and all thought is forgotten, the wolves no longer important as Edward pulls me through the house and I get the feeling this is actually _my_ house, not that it matters. All I really care about is him.

He scoops me up naked, my legs wrapping around his waist, skin against skin, as we travel down the small hallway toward my room. His breath is hot on my neck as his lips wander from my mouth so that he can kiss and suck on the sensitive skin beneath my ear. I let out a moan.

"Edward,"

"Bella," he whispers and I shiver at the sound of my name leaving his lips, although the words seem strained with worry. I ignore the sense that something is off as he lays me back on the bed, his hand slipping between us to rest on my thigh and inching slowly upward. "I don't know what to do."

"Just touch me, please, Edward," I pant a reply and he leans back so I can see the bright green of his eyes, the slight smirk of his lips, encouraging me.

Reaching down, I wrap a hand around him, stroking him as his eyes roll back and he whimpers.

"I need you,"

My heart constricts at the emotion in his words, and I have to hold back tears.

"As I need you," I say, stroking him faster, squirming under him in an attempt to get his hand where I want it. "And right now, I need you to make me cum."

His eyes flash wickedly and his cock twitches in my hand. I slow my stroking to the point of torture, making him grind his teeth in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Give and you shall receive," I say, my voice sultry and thick with lust.

He whimpers my name as the tip of his fingers find my clit. Just the slightest touch of his hand and my back arches off the bed, my breath bursts out in a sharp gasp.

"Oh god, Edward,"

The words tumble like water over my tongue, escaping me with a rush of embarrassment and happiness. His fingers twirl and slide along me with expert precision, and he falls forward, licking and nibbling my body, tasting me.

"Bella, oh god…Bella, say it again, please, please say my name again," he begs me as I jerk his pulsating cock in my hand.

"Edward," I pant, my vision flashing with sparks of white as his fingers circle my swollen nub, more…more…

"More, more, Edward…make me cum, make me cum for you,"

With a groan, he pushes my hand away from him and slams his cock into me, burying himself in my pussy, making the world blur around me like paint splashed in water. The walls begin to smear, the room around us disappearing as my insides curl and knot in anticipation.

"Edward, yes!

"Bella…Bella…oh, thank god, Bella," he cries out, repeating my name over and over again in praise as my nails rake his back and his cock stiffens inside me.

"Yes, cum inside me, fill me with your hot cum," I groan and my insides quiver, my thighs shake. "Edward!"

He spills inside me as I shatter around him and everything fades to black.

Beep, Beep, Beep, the sound repeats rapidly before being drowned out by voices, though I can't understand what's being said. There's shouting and arguing until the darkness wins again.

Time…I'm not sure of how much time passes in the dark, but eventually, the beeping starts again, slower than last time, even and constant. Beep…Beep…Beep. At some point, I get tired of the darkness and I wonder if there's something I can do to get out of it, but I can't seem to move or speak so eventually, the idea drifts away. The beeping noise gets annoying. Thankfully, I start hearing voices, soft, worried voices that say my name and slowly, but surely, I hear other words too.

"Bella, please wake up…"

I don't understand…Blackness.

"I'm back, Bells…I brought a book to read, I don't know if you'll like it, but…"

More blackness. I'm bored…I start to try to move, talk, open my eyes…anything. Nothing works.

"I hate having to sneak in here every night and leave you in the morning. I wish I knew what you wanted, if you want everyone to know about that night or how we feel about each other…well, actually, I'm not sure how you feel about me, but I know how I feel about you. I wouldn't have jumped in after you, risked my own life to save you, if I didn't care about you. That wasn't easy to cover up by the way. Emmett still asks question about why I was there and I keep dodging him. I wish you would wake up, Bella, and give me some answers, tell me what I should say to people. I told the nurse, Victoria, that you talked last week- a few days after they took you off the ventilator, of course I said that I was visiting Carlisle and that I heard you talk when I passed by your room, not that I was in here after visiting hours. She didn't believe that you spoke and we got in an argument about it…dumb bitch. Maybe it was just my imagination and I heard what I wanted to hear. Anyway, I would have told Carlisle, but once again, I don't know if you want anyone to know that we…besides, you might end up hating me in the end so maybe it's better that no one ever knows…well, it's almost morning, and I'm going to have to leave soon…Please, wake up, Bella."

And again more blackness. I try to move again, but I have no control. I'm starting to think I'm going to be trapped like this forever.

"Why isn't she awake yet, Carlisle?"

"As her physician, I can only say that her physical injuries are healed, but as you know, she suffered some extensive damage to the brain, and there's no way to know if she'll ever wake up. As your friend who happens to be a doctor, I believe she should have died on that cliff last month, but God seems to have a plan for her. She's breathing on her own, which as you know, is a great sign and the tests are all leaning in the positive direction…Charlie, I have every hope she'll make a full recovery, her brain simply needs more time to heal itself."

The words register, but than fade away just as quickly when I slip back in the dark. Finally, one day/night, who knows, I feel it, an urge to scratch. My arm itches, the worst itch I've ever had, and the more I think about it the more I want to scratch it. The urge becomes unbearable. Okay, seriously, it's time to move, body! I concentrate all my energy, all my strength into moving my arm, my fingers- a slight twitch. Yes…come on, body, don't fail me now! I try harder, but nothing happens, I groan in disappointment.

"Bella?"

Edward…there's an edge of hope in his voice. I think he heard me…maybe if I try just a little harder, I could say something…Move lips…MOVE!

"Ed-ward,"

I can barely hear it, but I feel a hand clutch mine and squeeze. I feel my arm being raised up, then, the ruff texture of facial hair on my hand and a splash of tears.

"Bella…"

I've never heard anyone sound so reverent, so awed. My eyes prickle with tears and I don't care what my body wants, I will my eyes to open just so I can see his face and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

**EPOV**

I'm sitting by her bed as I've done every night for the past two months, when her eyes, groggy and unsure, open. There is no holding back. The tears flow freely, cascading down my face. I kiss her fingers, her cheeks, her lips, tenderly and softly. Though her only response is a tiny moan, I couldn't feel happier. Yet at the same time, I hate myself for enjoying this, knowing that the suffering is only just beginning. I couldn't get into Charlie's office…I couldn't get his phone…I suspect someone knows and has been thwarting my attempts at redemption, but I have no idea who, my most recent guess is Rosalie. Regardless, with time running out, I did the only thing I could- I called Aro and convinced him to give me the job in Port Angeles. I start in two weeks.

**WAHHH! I know, it's so sad...By the way, I am blown away by how awesome this coma sequence turned out. *Pats self on back* I hope you guys like it as much as I do. If so, you know what to do. Click that wonderful button and leave me a review.**

**Oh, speaking of reviews, I am still answering reviews from last chapter so forgive me if it takes a while to send a reply. I'm just extremely busy. I do love every single review I get though and they put a very big smile on my face every time I read one so THANK YOU! - LOVE YOU GUYS! =D **


	18. The Burning Man

**Oh, thank Jebus! Lol I was THIS close to giving up guys, seriously. I've tried to write this chapter four times out of the last six Saturdays and if it didn't happen today I was going to throw in the towel. But finally, I got past the writer's block and I couldn't be happier. I may even do a little jig or something I'm so freaking happy. Anyway, I've been busy as shit, went on vacation for a week at the end of last month, had to deal with some stuff at work and I've pretty much been running on E. I cannot say thank you enough for all the amazing review you guys sent, if I didn't send a reply it's only because I have not an ounce of strength in me to type more than this. I'm dead tired. So once again I own nothing Twilight, but thank goodness for Dirty Edward or surely all my sanity would be gone. Enjoy and please review!  
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**Chapter 18**

**The Burning Man**

"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better."~ Henry Rollins

**EPOV**

I breathe in the steam surrounding me in the shower, hoping it will suffocate me or redeem me. It does neither. Water can wash away dirt and grime, sweat and tears, but it can't remove the damage I've done, although thankfully it's now unto me, and not Bella. My phone call to Aro has made sure of that.

_The phone rang several times before Aro answered, and I felt my stomach churn at the sound of his voice._

"_Ah, Edward, my dear boy, how are you? Doing well I hope?"_

"_Fine," I replied, willing my tone to be even and flat as my anxiety twisted and curled in on itself. "And yourself?"_

"_Good, good, but very busy. We've got a few new recruits in from Nevada that I'm afraid aren't trained as well as I would hope. They still need some more smoke training," he said. I could hear the grin in his voice. The fact that he was so excited about that particular exercise was nauseating, but I suppose it wasn't very surprising. I'd heard the stories of his intense training, forcing his recruits to dredge through smoke filled buildings to find dummies he'd hidden under beds or in closets. That wasn't so bad though, it's the fact that he would make them do it repeatedly without their masks for protection that bothered me. Last year, one of his crewmembers, a girl named Gianna, passed out from smoke inhalation on her fifth run through and the moment she recovered, he made her do it again. He claimed it builds character, but after hearing the joy in his voice, I couldn't help thinking he just liked to push them past their breaking point, to watch them crumble. "Never mind that though, I don't really have much time to chat. Is there something I can do for you?"_

_There was no time to consider backing out, to second-guess my decision. I swallowed back the bile in my throat and forced the words to leave my mouth._

"_I've changed my mind, I want the lieutenant position. No, I **need** the position." I tried not to sound desperate, but I couldn't help it. Bella was in a coma and time was running out. Aro had yet to call Charlie. Although, why would he, he doesn't care if Bella's in the hospital, he didn't even call to offer well wishes when his fellow Chief's wife, Renee, was in the hospital getting her tumor removed. He'd only call if Bella didn't show up in Port Angeles for her new job, if he didn't get what he wanted. Then, he would ask questions, questions no one else could hear._

"_Really? And why's that, I thought you were content to stay in Forks," he said, his tone full of curiosity and amusement. I realized then that he would not make this easy. He clearly liked this game, dragging out my secrets despite the fact that he had already filled the position. He's a sadist all right._

"_I was, but I'm not anymore. I'm sick of this tiny town and everyone in it. There's not enough women, enough excitement for me here," I lied, my heart clenching in regret of my words._

"_Oh, well, that's unfortunate because I'm afraid that position has already been claimed by young Ms. Swan," he said with malevolent joy._

_Of course, I knew that, but still I started to break out in a cold sweat, my skin getting clammy and slick. The phone nearly dropped from my hand. I couldn't allow him to turn me down. To prevent it, there's nothing I wouldn't do...nothing._

"_Bella? Seriously? She's an imbecile, Chief Aro. We've had nothing, but problems since she got here. She fraternizes with her fellow crewmembers, promotes arguing among the team. Hell, she risked her life on that cliff for selfish fun and now look where she is, in the hospital, in a coma. She's easy and reckless, Sir. You deserve someone who won't screw up, who will devote himself fully to training your crew, not sleeping with them," I said, the lies crushing my insides with a frosty burn. I wished that I could take back my words, that I could tell him the truth. In that moment, I couldn't hate myself more._

"_I see," Aro replied, dragging out the syllables. He was silent for a few moments, extending my torment no doubt, until I decided to take the opportunity to close the deal._

"_I'll even take a pay cut, Chief; just get me out of this town."_

_That did it._

My body shivers from the memory as the hot water pulsates against my back vigorously, warming me on the outside though I'm still freezing inside. I can't explain it; the bitter cold that buries itself in my gut when she's not around, it's almost unbearable. This is what hell feels like, I'm sure of it, not fire and brimstone, but isolating, indifferent cold. For two months, I've endured it, despite the warmth of summer that others seem to be basking in, well before the heat wave anyway. It's hard for people to enjoy the heat when it's damn near suffocating, I know how that feels…the sad thing is that I would give anything to be in that position, but alas, I'm the only one that hasn't felt the effects of the heat wave that has engulfed Forks these past two weeks.

The swimming pools are crowded, A/C units have been selling out at any store within 50 miles, and the movie theater, with its industrial A/C, is packed everyday, despite the fact that the movies being screened are already on DVD. For all those who aren't suffering from internal freeze the heat is terrible, but for me, it's nothing more than the weather torturing me with the absence of Bella, reminding me that I can't be warm without her, that I'm nothing without her. Ugh…I'm so sick of all these stupid, girly thoughts! I step out of the shower and dress quickly, trying to fight off the chill- it's no use. My work pants and fire shirt do nothing to stop me from shivering. There's only one thing that will warm the icy cold inside me and seeing as I have absolutely no balls left, I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay away from Bella much longer, Charlie or no Charlie.

Since she woke up nearly a week ago, Charlie hasn't left her side, she's even been staying over at her parent's house to ease their worry. Therefore, I haven't gotten any time alone with her except the precious moments when she woke up before the nurse showed up and made me leave, without us exchanging a single word between one another. Sure, whenever our eyes meet across the room, her face blushes radiantly, but then, she looks away, avoiding my gaze. I have no idea what she's thinking. It could be that she only wanted me for sex, or that thinking about me embarrasses her. It's possible that she regrets what happened, or my reaction to her awakening spooked her. With a heavy sigh, I wonder if that would be a gift in disguise. I press my hand into my face and slide it up through my hair with a groan. Perhaps, it will make leaving in a week easier. The thought alone is enough to make my stomach prickle with cold jabs of fear, as if I swallowed a handful of icicles so I'm guessing it probably wouldn't help.

Leaving her will be the hardest thing I've done in my life, but I have no other choice. Bella can't find out what I did, no one can. I wouldn't be able to handle the disgust in their eyes, or the loss of their respect. More so, after seeing the way she looks at her parents these last few days, as if she's the luckiest daughter in the world, and the way they look at her, like something precious carved out of gold. Well, if they knew that I almost ruined that, they would never forgive me and I don't think I would ever be able to forgive myself.

I catch sight of the clock on my nightstand and swear under my breath. Time has been running so quickly lately, I feel like I can barely keep up. There's no time for love or for hope or forgiveness. There's only time for resignation, the cold sting of defeat, and the buzz of the time clock as I punch in late. Reaching for my duffle bag, I rush for the door.

When I arrive at the station, the time clock sounds with an irritating hum as I run my badge through it, the word 'Late' flashes on the small screen that normally displays my clock-in time.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Story of my life," I say to myself. Too late for work, for redemption, for happiness, it's too late now for anything. Thanks for rubbing it in, you stupid clock.

Instead of darting upstairs, to drop off my bag, as I normally would, I head towards Charlie's office. It's the last place in the world I want to go, but I've held it off long enough. I have to tell him that I'm leaving…I have to be convincing. God, I feel sick. With each step, I hope the room will be empty, that he won't be there. I have no such luck. He's seated at his desk, Bella at his side, laughing at some picture he pulled off his desk in a green frame. I know exactly which one it is. I've memorized them all. It's the photo of Bella at senior prom with Jake, dressed in the ugliest dress I've ever seen. Renee wouldn't let her get out of going so to protest she wore the most god-awful dress she could find, puke green with a dozen or so ruffles, and a big bow in the back.

"That's what she gets for making me go," she says, shrugging her shoulders as her father chuckles, his eyes sparkling with playful happiness as he places the framed image back in its place.

My knock on the open door causes both heads to turn, and I watch as Bella turns a deep shade of red. She coughs, turning her head to the side and excuses herself. It takes all my control not to follow her with my eyes as she leaves the room. The heat that I feel pouring off her as she passes is nearly my undoing. I'm so tired of being cold.

"What's up, son?" Charlie asks. He so rarely calls me that. It feels good…A sudden thought pops in my head. If I married Bella, I would be his son for real. Then, I remember why I'm here, why that won't happen. My heart sinks and I flinch, causing Charlie's smile to fall away as I shut the door behind me.

There is little said after I tell Charlie about my move to Port Angeles. The light in his eyes dies and he lies, telling me he has paperwork to do before dismissing me from his office. Normally, I can't tell when he's lying. However, this time his face becomes a mask of indifference, but his voice trembles ever so slightly and it's obvious. It kills me to see him this way. When I make to leave the room, he has me shut the door again, closing him inside. I escape to one of the bedrooms for the rest of the day, trying to erase the image of his sadness from my mind.

He waits until dinner to tell the rest of the crew and I count it in my favor that Alice and Jasper aren't here. I don't think I could handle seeing my sister's face when she hears the news. Surprisingly though, there is more sadness then I would have expected, Emmett slams a fist on the table, even Rosalie's scowl seems to have more sorrow behind it than anger, either that or I'm imagining things. At least I know I'm not misinterpreting the smile on Mike's face, his grin is so wide that you would think he might have had sex for the first time. Bella though, she's the one that takes it the hardest. I'm probably the only one that notices it, but the smile on her face when she says, 'Good Riddance', is fake. I don't know why this makes me happy, but it does, and when Charlie excuses everyone, I find myself chasing off in the direction I saw her go, towards the roof. It's the first time I've known her to be alone since the hospital, and something inside me won't let me miss this opportunity.

The door to the roof is locked, but it's easy enough to get up there through one of the bedroom windows. I'm so overwhelmed by fear and anticipation that I barely can feel the bricks burning my hands with the scorching heat that they've stored throughout the day or maybe it's just that it's another form of heat that can't quite touch the freeze within me. Regardless, the burns peel a layer of skin from my hands, turning them pink. I wipe them on my pants with a grimace. It doesn't matter; I don't care about my hands. I care about her…I mentally kick myself. I really hate that I'm such a pansy now. I see her sitting on a blanket stretched out across the flat roof with her back to me, staring out at the woods where the sun has slowly begun to fall beneath the trees, transforming the air around her into a shimmering gold, lighting up the red in her hair. Okay, never mind, she can have my balls if she wants…hell, she can have all of me.

Without thinking, I rush over to her, making it about halfway when my steps alert her to my presence and she turns to see me with hands pink and clothes filthy from sliding over the bricks. She gasps before her lips slip into a scowl.

"Jesus Christ, Edward, what were you thinking?" she asks, pulling herself to her feet and closing the distance between us. She grabs my hands furiously, pressing the skin on my palms and heat floods me from the tips of my fingers to the very depths of me.

"I wasn't. I'm still not. If I were thinking, I wouldn't be here. I shouldn't want to be here, especially if you don't want me to be, but I can't help myself."

I ignore the slight sting as I close my hands around hers, and Bella growls, a sound that causes my cock to throb and my heart to thump much too fast. She tries to pull away, but I won't let her.

"What the hell are you talking about? You're the one leaving, not me! You're acting like a selfish prick!" She hollers, continually working to free her hands from my grasp.

"No, I'm being selfless," I murmur, and as silly as it sounds, I believe it to be true. I'm doing this for her, so that even if she's angry, she doesn't believe I'm the type of person who would send her away from her family, who would ruin another's life just to make myself happy.

"If selfless means doing whatever you want and not caring what it does to anyone else, than yeah! Do you have any idea how upset my Dad is…how much this hurts him." She shakes her head and huffs out a breath of air. "_He_ should have kept his distance, _he_ shouldn't have gotten so close to you when you're the type to just run away and _he_ knew that, _he_ even tried to keep away from you after the fact. But…god, _I_ couldn't. Hate is so much easier and now, I'll never be able to think of you without wanting you, without missing you. How could you do this to me-"

I cut her off with my lips pressed to hers, my arms encircling her to pull her closer, and it burns, it burns so wickedly that I can hardly breathe. She kisses me, giving me all the fire and passion that I'm giving her as I push her back and lower her to the blanket atop the rough cement. My hands tangle in her hair, my moans die in her mouth, while tears wet her cheeks. Now, I'm being selfish. I want her, I want this to be how I remember us. As something that could have been. She wants me just as much as I want her and knowing that is as painful as the fact that I can't allow it. She deserves better, I wish better for her. For now though, for now I'm content to be selfish.

She pulls at my shirt and I don't stop her, she buries her fingers in my hair and I don't stop her. I should, but I don't stop her.

"Bella, oh, Bella, Bella," I murmur her name with reverence as I trail kisses from her mouth to her cheek, tugging her shirt until she's free of it. I can taste her tears, but her moans are enough to urge me forward as I continue to press my lips to her skin, moving to her throat while I unclasp her bra. It slides off her easily and my mouth falls on her gorgeous tits, my tongue twirling around her taut nipples as she squirms beneath me.

"Edward…yes, it feels good…so good." She whimpers, her tears slowing as her body is taken over with lust. She latches onto a chunk of my hair, pressing me against her as I suck on her, grinding my hips into hers. Inside me, a deviant urge builds. I want to make her cum like this, with nothing more than my lips on her tits and dry humping. I want to see her body fall apart with desire so that I'll remember exactly what I'm missing when I'm gone, what I could have had…god, I'm a fucking sick masochist.

"You're going to cum for me, Bella," I pant into her skin, making sure to slam my pelvis into hers with just the right amount of force as I twist her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. "I want to feel it, your body shuddering, your juices seeping out through your clothes, the look of absolute perfection on your face."

Her eyes roll back as she lets out a deep, guttural moan.

"Jesus, Edward…"

"That's it, be a good little slut and cum for me, show me exactly what I do to you," I growl, feeling her body slowly begin to shake. Reaching up I wrap my hand around her throat lightly, putting just enough pressure on her jugular for her to tense up. "I don't deserve you, Bella. I'm a bad, bad, boy, but give me this, cum for me, cum for me so that I'll never forget what I'm missing."

I pivot my hips one last time and she breaks beneath me, her body shaking with the most intense orgasm I've ever seen as she lets out a powerful groan that vibrates my fingers. She's covered in sweat, glistening in the rays of golden sunlight and appearing as if she's made of diamonds. It's beautiful, the most intoxicating thing I've ever seen. There's no way I'll ever forget…I'll die with the memory branded on my heart.

**Aw, so sad. Poor guy. I can definitely relate with the fact that he never seems to have enough time. 24 hours a day is not enough, I tell you! I'm beat...but you know what might help me, a review. I have missed them oh so much, as I have all of you. LOVE YOU ALL!**


	19. It Will Rain Fire

**Sorry this chapter is short, but it's sweet, and also the best I could do. I've got a pounding headache. UGH! Anyway, I believe we've only got maybe 2 or 3 chapters left in the story and to be quite honest, I'm kind of excited to finish it. I've had a lot on my plate and it will really help to not have this particular story taking up space in my head anymore. Once again, I don't own anything Twilight, but it would rain everyday without Dirty Edward in my life. Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 19**

**It Will Rain Fire**

"Fire in the heart sends smoke into the head." ~Proverb.

"If you walk away, everyday it'll rain." ~Bruno Mars

**BPOV**

He's gone swiftly, just like when he appeared. I'm conflicted, sad and at the same time satisfied. My insides are still warm from his touch, but I can't seem to breathe quite as deeply as before. Some girls would probably call this heartbreak, this intense feeling of anger, sadness, and loss. I, however, refuse to believe that is what this is. It can't be. You can't lose love if you've never had it and I won't turn out like her.

_He swiped my hand along his cheek as my head started to swim, and I realized where I was. The room was just like any other hospital room, empty, blank, but also surprisingly warm. I remembered the cliff, the water, the dream...that weird dream. Edward rests his hands, still laced with mine, on the bed and a small smile finds its way to his lips. He looks tired. I try to return his smile, but the best I can do is a slight twitch of my lips. I'm not sure why I feel so weak. How long have I been here? More so, how long has he been here...how often?_

"_What in the world? What are you doing here?" A voice, edged with anger and concern, breaks through the silence and Edward drops my hand._

_Standing in the doorway is a nurse who's our age, with flatiron straight auburn hair and eyes that shimmer a gorgeous teal even in the dim light. She's familiar, I think I've seen her before, but I can't quite remember her name. I know she's relatively knew to town though, because I'm positive we didn't go to school together._

"_Visiting hours are over. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."_

_Her eyes never leave Edward, a look of intense sadness on her face, and when he looks over at her, I watch her eyes fill with tears as she fights them back with a scowl. I can guess just by the way she's standing there, working so hard to hold herself together, that at one time she was a victim of his, but he doesn't even notice. Why would he?_ _This is a boy who has collected an entire jar of hearts from the Fork's female population. Why would he remember this particular one? My insides clench as I watch her hands fidget with the edge of her scrub top as he looks at her._

_He looks back at me and shakes his head in annoyance at her decree._

"_Get some sleep, Bella. I'll see you later," he says, and then stands, walking out of the room without even looking in her direction and with him gone, she lets the tears spill over until she realizes that I'm staring._

_I quickly avert my gaze, but it's too late, she rushes from the room as she calls back to me._

"_I'll go get the doctor and tell him you're awake."_

_The room is suddenly ice cold._

Watching that nurse crumble in front of Edward reminded me of what I'd forgotten. I didn't want to end up like her, another heart in his collection, another woman who couldn't look at him without dying inside. I'm smarter than that. He can't take my heart without my consent and that's why ever since I woke up I've forced myself to deny, to keep my distance from him and to try to regain the sanity I'd lost. I simply couldn't allow myself to feel what I wanted because heartbreak would indeed be the outcome. This is Edward after all. He's never been a one-woman man, and who am I to think that I could change that. I'm just me, just ordinary, nothing fantastic Bella Swan. I have a bad attitude, a sense for trouble, a short temper…I'd never be enough for him.

The problem is that every time I've looked at him this week, seen his face, I couldn't help feeling that maybe this is different, maybe I was different, but now it's not feeling different at all. Still, this can't be heartbreak. Maybe I'm just coming down with something, a cold or perhaps it's a tumor…yeah, I would prefer that to heartbreak. Heartbreak is a bit more fatal, a tumor can likely be removed where as a heart, well, no one can live without a heart.

For a while longer, I sit on the roof, hugging my knees to my chest as I watch the sky darken. My body slowly cools from his heat and though the summer air is hot, I start to feel bitterly cold as night settles in. I think about everything and nothing, until I find that all I can think about is him. A drop of wetness falls onto the bare skin of my leg and I believe it to be rain, until I reach up to brush back my hair and discover my face is wet, streaked with tears. The sight of them, drying on my hand beneath the moonlight, is enough to break me and before I know it, it's raining down tears and my heart is constricting in my chest, stabbed by a thousand freezing knives. I don't know how I could have let this happen, how I could have been so stupid, so utterly reckless. I feel myself crack, my exterior shell shattering to pieces as it hits me all at once. The pain I'm feeling isn't just a cold, or the flu or even a tumor and this isn't infatuation, lust, or obsession. I'm in love…and it's over before it's begun.

It takes a while before I can force myself to stand and leave the rooftop. I try to hide my heartache as best I can, but my face is blotchy and red from crying. The only thing I can do is be sure I avoid everyone, at least until my skin returns to normal. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. As I'm walking back to my room, my vision slightly blurred, I manage to run right into none other than Rosalie Hale.

"What the fuc-" She snaps at me, but stops mid-sentence when her eyes meet mine. I can't imagine what I must look like. It must be a depressing sight though because she takes one look at me and frowns, grabbing my hand. Against my normal judgment, I let her pull me into her designated room. I've never been inside it before. The whole set-up screams Rosalie- harsh, yet elegant. Her dresser is distressed wood in a deep, almost blackish color and resting on her matching nightstand is a bowl of water with a single, large lotus flower floating within. Probably a gift, though I have no idea from whom. Placed in the middle of the room is an iron bed, covered in a bright red duvet. It's king size, meaning she purchased it herself. The girl must have money. I've always suspected so.

"Sit," she says, pointing to the bed. It's more of a command then a suggestion and I have no fight in me anyway. I follow her with my eyes as she digs through her duffle bag, pulling out a compact of powder. She starts to put it on my face and I can't think of anything to say so I stay silent.

"You're probably wondering why I'm doing this," she says, her normal bitchy tone replaced by one that's almost nice. She doesn't wait for a reply. "I don't like you, but you know that."

I nod my head. I don't like her either. She's too full of herself and the fact that she thinks she's all that pisses me off. It's possible that if she was more like this, I might actually like her, but knowing Rosalie, this is a side of her rarely seen by others.

She lightly blows away the extra powder and her breath smells like mint and cherry lip-gloss. After putting the container away, she sits down beside me. A moment passes in silence, and I consider leaving.

"Do you know why I became a firefighter, Bella?" Her voice leaves me rooted in place, and I sit unmoving in hopes that she'll continue, resolve my curiosity. She sighs deeply, gazing at the wall as if wondering why it's still standing. That's when I see it, the sorrow in her, the sadness, the regret. "I grew up in a small town in Texas. A town just like this one, where everyone knows everyone and you can't walk down the street without stopping to talk to someone. I loved it, loved everything about my life. I grew up in a privileged household. My father was the mayor. My mother was a homemaker. Jasper and I, we never wanted for anything. Life was…perfect. I was the perfect girl with the perfect life and the perfect family, and then I met Royce. I loved him before I even knew what love was. We grew up together, went to the same school, the same church. We started dating when we were 16 and for what felt like such a small blip of time, I got to enjoy absolute perfection, the type of life that everyone wishes for. He showered me with affection, never failed to do something romantic and spontaneous. We graduated high school with plans to go to the same college. I knew there would be marriage, kids…"

Her hands clench one another and she shakes her head as if to strengthen her own resolve.

"But none of that would come to be. The summer after graduation was hot, definitely worse than this weak heat wave that seems to have everyone bitching."

Rosalie lets out a short, non-humorous laugh, trying so hard to sound light-hearted.

"Royce was over one night and we were sneaking around in the shed. No one ever went back there and it was kind of our place. We used to go there to make out or to just get away from everything. That night though, we'd set up a mattress in there with fresh sheets and it was going to be a special. Well, I'm sure you can guess why. Young couple in love and all…"

She glances over at me, noticing the smirk on my lips. Rosalie, a virgin at 18, you're shitting me? I unintentionally snort at the absurdity. It's so ridiculous to imagine her sweet and innocent.

"Not that it was our first time or anything-"

I do my best to hold it in, but a chuckle or two escapes, interrupting her attempt to cover up her words. She shoots me a glare.

"Oh, fuck you, just because you couldn't keep _your_ legs closed…do you want to hear what happened or not?"

"Sorry," I whisper, my voice slightly hoarse from the crying.

"Alright then, yes, I was a virgin. It sounds stupid, I know, but my parents were very traditional and well, I'll admit I liked being a tease. It gave me a sense of being in control…anyway, we were in the shed when the lightning struck and the fire started. The smoke seeped in through the cracks of the wood and we rushed outside to find the blaze quickly engulfing the house. It was late, everyone was at home in bed…my mother, my father, Jasper."

Rosalie's face pales a shade, her features smooth and hard as stone.

"I didn't think. I ran into the house and began to search as Royce screamed after me, following me inside."

Her voice cracks, and she stops speaking, letting the room fill with silence briefly before starting again.

"I yelled at him, told him to go get Jasper as I ran into my mother and father's room. I tried to lift them from their beds, but I couldn't…I was weak, a perfect girl who'd never done more than carry purses, and they were so heavy, unconscious from the smoke. I couldn't move them."

In the darkness, I see the tears glistening in her eyes and inadvertently, I reach out to hold her hand. It's cold, freezing just like mine.

"He got Jasper out, but he came back when he realized I was still inside. I was passed out on the floor...that's where the firefighters found us, his body laying over mine, shielding me from the blazing inferno."

She doesn't finish, and I don't need her to. It's obvious what happened, her parents, her first love, they're all dead. It's a tragedy…

I give her hand a squeeze, but she pushes my hand away after that.

"You should go now, Bella,"

She's clearly done, but I can't help myself. The hurt on her face is killing me.

"I'm so sor-"

"Don't," she interrupts. "Just go, Bella. Go and try to hold on to him because once it's over there's no going back. Love like that doesn't go away, it only gets stronger, and it rarely, if ever, happens more than once in a lifetime."

Her eyes fall on the Lotus flower in the glass bowl and I see a small sad smile on her face before it disappears. Definitely a gift, though I doubt I'll ever know who gave it to her. Whoever it is, she deserves them, no matter how much of a bitch she is on the outside, _this_ Rosalie deserves all the love in the world.

I get up from the bed and walk towards the door. With my hand on the doorknob, I turn to ask one more question.

"Why did you vote for me?"

Rosalie replies with a smirk and says, "Because my salsa is amazing. It's won seven county fair ribbons…the moment you stuck up for him, I saw what everyone else saw. You're perfect together. Remember that when everything goes to shit."

Her answer makes no sense, but she doesn't allow me time to question it.

"Now get the hell out of my room. You need to get some beauty sleep because I can't stand looking at your ugly face anymore."

I roll my eyes at her.

"Goodnight, Rosalie."

**Well, there it is, Rosalie's story, and yes, as far as I know Royce was a nice guy and she truly did love him. The time has come, my dearest friends, to write such wonderous things...in translation 'leave me a review or I'll cry myself to sleep at night' Lol**

**Oh, by the way, IMO Boyce Avenue's version of 'It Will Rain' is so much better than Bruno Mars. You should check it out on youtube if you haven't already.**


	20. Firewater

**Bear with me here people. I know this chapter may cause some of you to lose your desire for this story and I'm sorry if that is the case. I personally love this chapter and as big a shocker to me as it was, it has completely renewed my love for Hot Mess. This story is going to end epically and I feel bad for you if you miss it. Once again, I do not own anything Twilight, but Dirty Edward is burning hot. =D Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 20**

**Firewater**

"Fire and water cannot be friends, but they can mingle together at times, and create a brief truce in the form of steam." ~Me

**EPOV**

I lift the glass to the light and turn it in my hand so I can see the amber glow bending in the air before touching it to my lips. Just like expected, it slips down easy, no fire, no burn. I don't know what I thought would happen, that it would be different than the first 10 shots maybe. I chuckle softly to myself. I must seem crazy, I probably am. As the laugh dies, I place the shot glass back on the bar. The alcohol doesn't fill the void, or warm the cold at all and without it I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. Walking away is so much easier when you don't care.

"Another,"

"I don't know, buddy. I think you've had enough."

"Enough?" I snort, locking eyes with the bartender as my mouth turns down in a scowl. How would he know when enough is enough? Has he ever felt this before, this chill that buries itself in every crevice of the body? If so, he wouldn't be stopping me. With renewed resolve, I slam a twenty on the bar. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Just trying to help, man,"

"Well-" I look down at his nametag. "Laurent…I don't _need_ any help, just pour the shot."

He does as I tell him to and my minds reels with what it is that I truly need, I need a heart…because I seem to have lost mine.

_I labeled another box and placed it amongst the piles of cardboard that lined the walls. Only a few more boxes and I would be finished packing. I suddenly found it weird that I could fit every aspect of my life into a box, every trinket tied to every memory. Without them the house felt empty, void of all my things, the walls bare like my insides. The space was so barren that when the knock at the door came it echoed with a resounding boom. I looked through the peephole, cursing under my breath. I knew who it was long before I confirmed it, but seeing her there was more than I could stand. I felt her presence with the same intensity as the lips that smashed into mine when the barrier between us was removed. She wasn't yielding or soft or gentle as she clung to me and the burn ignited. It was…everything._

"_Bella…my Bella," I whispered under my breath as heat traversed my body, filling me, staunching the ache in my veins. _

_She shoved me into a stack of boxes and I felt the corner of the cardboard slam into my hip. It was the sudden shot of pain that reminded me that I should be protesting, trying to stop the movement of her hands as they traced the waist band of my sweat pants. Alas, my body wasn't in the mood to listen to my brain, and my willpower was long gone by the time her hand found purchase beneath the fabric, wrapped around my length._

"_Oh, god," I gasped, clenching my body in an attempt to stop myself from releasing in that instant. Her eyes locked on me, full of lust and awe as her hand stroked me once, slowly, as if she was eyeing my reaction. Her touch was like silky fire, soft and heated, I shuddered under it's grasp._

_I watched her eyes study me while she began an almost painful rhythm, down, up, twist, down, up, twist. The box beneath me bowed under my weight as I leaned against it, my hands clenching around the edges. There was no stopping this, I couldn't fight this fire. It built in my toes as her stroke sped up, her gaze never leaving my face._

"_Ugh…Jesus, Bella," I grunted under her ministrations, panting for breathe as sweat began to bead on my face. My hands twitched against the cardboard, desperate to touch her, but I couldn't move, my body was under her control, I belonged to her in that moment, a plaything to do with as she pleased. She inched forward, leaning into me as my cock throbbed in her hold. The smell of strawberries and honeysuckle wafted off her hair as her mouth moved to my ear._

"_So hot…You feel it, don't you?" She whispered, her lips grazing my earlobe and my knees shook under the onslaught of sensation, the scent of her, the feel, the heat radiating off her like a furnace, the taste of her in the air. I nodded my head vigorously, unable to speak. My whole body was on fire, she was burning me alive, and I only wanted more, more of her, more of this. I felt my stomach curl in on itself, twisting, knotting in a fiery ball as her free hand grasped my thigh, all the while continuing her agonizing pattern, down, up, twist, down, up, twist._

"_You're not going anywhere, Edward. You _**will**_ come to me, and right now, you will cum _**for**_ me."_

_Her breath landed hot on my ear, and my balls tightened at her command as her lips wrapped around my earlobe, sucking on the delicate skin. It was instantaneous, uncontrollable, every nerve inside me exploded in a firework of heat, lit like bottle rockets on the forth of July. My legs turned to jelly as hot spurts of cum covered Bella's delicate fingers, cascading over her hand while she hummed in my ear and I screamed out her name. The room was cold, the door opened and closed, before I ever got the chance to catch my breath._

I swallow the shot whole at the memory, my cock standing at attention, knowing all too well what it wants. If only it were that simple. I can't have her, and at the same time, leaving her will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Without her I'm not even sure if I'll exist anymore. God, that's pathetic. Then again, I'm the epitome of pathetic at the moment, sitting at this dive bar at midnight on a Thursday, drinking myself into a stupor. It doesn't matter though, I've somehow managed to keep my distance by some crazy twist of fate, and I just have to make it to tomorrow, moving day, and to be honest, I don't think I can do that without drinking myself stupid. At least that's what part of me thinks, the other part knows that Laurent is right, I've had enough, I probably won't be able to do it regardless of how drunk I am. Sadly, that side of me isn't in charge right now.

"Another,"

He refills the glass with a shake of his head and walks away with the bottle. I gulp down the liquid and stick my tongue out at his retreating form.

"Well, isn't that attractive…"

If I wasn't so drunk the voice might have startled me. Instead, it simply makes me groan under my breath.

"Get lost, Newton,"

He does the opposite, sitting down in the stool beside me with a stupid, cocky grin on his face. The kid obviously has a death wish. He waves over Laurent and orders a martini.

"Wow, seriously? Would you like some Vagisil with that? How about some tampons?" I say with a chuckle that seems to make the room spin.

"Laugh all you want, pretty boy, but you're not going to be laughing for long," he replies, turning to me when Laurent returns with his frilly drink. Holding the martini glass by the stem, he takes a sip and sets it down. "I came by because my buddy Laurent was nice enough to tip me off that you were here getting sloshed, and well, you see, Laurent owes me a little favor."

He takes another sip of his drink and tips it towards my empty glass. "How's your drink taste, Edward? You feeling a little woozy maybe?"

I raise my eyebrow at him like he's an insane person. Well, I think I raise my eyebrow at him, I can't quite feel my face at the moment, in fact my whole body feels kind of numb.

"I'm not surprised that you haven't figured it out yet, you've never been too terribly smart. What with you forgetting to shut the blinds at your house the other day when Bella stopped by, or oh, my personal favorite, neglecting to realize phone lines can be so easily tapped."

"It was you," I say in a slur as a black blob seeps into my vision, sliding along the room like blood as Mike's face contorts into a long, almost snake-like shape. A forked tongue slithers out of his mouth as he hisses a chuckle and I think I may hurl.

"Bravo!" He cheers, swallowing the remainder of his drink. "Yes, Charlie was oh, so concerned when I told him that I thought I saw someone sneaking around his office. He locked it right up."

His eyes bulge from his face as I try to will my feet into standing. This is all his fault and I'm all but willing to beat him senseless just as soon as I can stand. Unfortunately, my legs are just as numb and useless as the rest of me.

"Let's just be honest, I don't like you, Edward, I've never liked you ,and well, I thought this little plan of yours would work out fine, but now, I don't think it will, not with Bella wanting you to stay so bad. I, of course, thought of telling her what you had done, but I've seen the way she looks at you, that _disgusting_ need she has for you. I can't take the chance that she'd forgive you. So think of this as me taking matters into my own hands. This is the perfect opportunity to be absolutely sure I get rid of you, once and for all, and with you out of the picture, well, Bella won't have any reason to turn me away. She'll be all mine, after all these years, she'll be _my_ Bella."

His words click in my head after a moment or two and with all my strength I propel my legs forward onto the floor, my hand cocked back to punch him, but I stagger and fall. Mike catches me, feigning help, his voice echoing out to the fellow bar patrons.

"Just had too much to drink, I'll make sure I get him home."

The room swirls in flashes of black as he slithers an arm around me, propping me up with his body under my left shoulder. Staggering, under the dizzying effects of whatever he laced me with, he easily leads me outside to his car and places me in the back seat. My face hits the fake leather and my eyes begin to droop closed, my world slipping into sickening darkness.

It's the cold that wakes me, ice cold, absolutely freezing. It coats my body all at once, curling around my bones as I plunge into a gigantic vat of black ooze. I attempt to move my arms, my legs, fighting mercilessly against the sludge that suddenly surrounds me, but my body will barely respond to me. The darkness seems indefinite as I battle the current with small twitches of life in my legs, but off in the distance I see a light, bright red and undulating. A small voice in the back of my head whispers 'beach…bonfire'. I'm slammed with a wave of understanding. I'm in the ocean, my body aching from the impact with the water. I recognize the dark lumps of landscape in the pale light from the moon, La Push. It would be beautiful if I wasn't choking on water, fighting for air. With each kick, each small movement of my extremities, I battle the drug that is leeching all my strength, but I know I can't fight it for long, the alcohol doesn't help. The recognition is gone as quickly as it came and everything starts to spin, the water flickering to black slurry under my fingers and I find myself thinking the terrible truth, I'm going to die here. I feel the drug pulsating through me with every beat of my heart and I want so bad to sleep. Just as my eyelids flutter to close a flash of light, blue and bright, bursts before me, a roaring sound fills my ears. Then, and only then, does my body go limp and my lungs constrict in my chest. This is it, I think, this is the end. An image flashes in my mind, the face I will miss the most, the last thing I wish to see before I part this world. My Bella…my love.

**JPOV (Jacob)**

I watch Edward cough and hack up a lung full of water and then pass out on the floor of my boat, both hating and reveling the sight. I hate the fucking bastard, but she doesn't…and for her sake, I'm glad he's alive. If I hadn't been on the beach, seen the splash, he may not be. As I rev the engine and make may to shore I consider what I'm going to do next. Charlie would want to know about this, but I'm not sure I'm going to say anything. I think it's about time I get Edward's input on all this. I take him to my place, where I deposit him on the couch. He groans her name in his sleep and it gets me just a little. Maybe they're all right, maybe I'm wrong just this once. I can only hope so. I've helped them because the fact is, I would do anything for Bella, my best friend. She deserves all the happiness this world has to offer and I hope she realizes that when this is over. God, I hope she forgives me…I hope she forgives us all.

By the time lover boy finally comes around, he damn near shits a brick, sitting up on the couch like some freakish jack in the box with his eyes darting around my place like he's in some foreign country. Well, I guess he kind of is. He's never been to the reservation before, due to the whole ban against the Cullen's for stealing our land. Tribal rules and what not. Whatever, rules are meant to be broken.

"Coffee?" I offer him a cup, tilting my own mug back to my lips as he gets his bearings back.

"What-, what the fuck is going on?" He blurts out the words, running a hand through his hair. I groan. What is it about that gesture that the girls like so much? The guy's going to go bald from ripping out his hair.

"Long story short. You fucked with the wrong guy…big surprise, I know," I say with the roll of my eyes. "Here's the cliff notes version: Mike is what you call a psychotic fuck. He started eyeing Bella back in high school. Back then he was harmless of course, and Bella was more than capable of taking care of herself so I just kept an eyes on things. It wasn't until Bella left for Arizona that things got creepy. Mike started asking me about her constantly, 'How's Bella doing in Arizona?', 'Is she visiting anytime soon?', 'Do you know what kind of flowers she likes, I wanted to send some?', 'I'm taking a trip down there soon to see her.', 'Will you tell her I miss her?'"

Edward's eyes widen and he starts running his hand through this hair again. Jesus, he can't fucking stop himself can he? I snap my fingers to get his attention again.

"Follow me here, pretty boy…Anyway, Bella started to mention things when I would call her, weird things. I don't know if she just didn't realize it or what, but she kept saying that she was having trouble getting her front door to stay locked and getting hang-up calls…yeah, I know, creepy, right?"

"Then she calls me one night and tells me she slept with some dude name James," Edward's face falls, his fist clenching tight. Wow…alright then, probably shouldn't have said that. Protective much? I feel a slight twinge of respect for him, or maybe it's just heart burn. Yeah, probably heartburn, damn breakfast burrito. "Chill, dude, it was some one night stand, he's not a threat, seeing as well…he's dead now."

"Do you mean?"

I nod my head.

"Newton…At least that's what I think. There's no proof and no one else believes me, not even Charlie, but I can feel it in my gut, you know? The dude died just days after my phone call with Bella. It had to have been him, he must have tapped my phone line or something. And seeing what happened to you last night I would say you're inclined to agree with me."

He nods and I let out a sigh, bracing myself for the reaction to what I'm about to say, he's going to think I'm nuts. Hell, Bella would probably think I'm insane if she knew about this. That's why I never told her.

"Have you ever heard the legends of our tribe, other than the one about the cursed land? Actually, more specifically the one on imprinting?"

He lifts his eyebrow in question. Of course he hasn't, god forbid this be even the slightest bit easy.

"Well, ever since Bella and I were kids, I've been able to…fuck, how do I say this…" I pause for a moment, wringing my hands together. "Oh, for fuck's sake, I'm linked to Bella."

Edward glares hard at me, his muscles tensing like he's about to jump up out of his seat before I blurt out, "I'm not talking about any sort of romantic link!"

He relaxes slightly and I tumble through the rest of my explanation.

"I don't feel for her that way. In fact, I pretty much hate how I almost feel this constant need to protect her, to keep her out of harms way. It's like a compulsion. I don't know, maybe I'm fucking crazy too, but I've always gotten this feeling when she's in danger, either physically or emotionally. That's why I can't fucking stand you. I knew from the moment we met that you were going to hurt her…I was starting to think that it was your death that was going to break her heart, which is why I felt compelled to go to the beach last night, but I still don't feel right. You're still going to hurt her…"

His shoulders slump, his head falling into his hands.

"Shit…you know I'm right. What the fuck have you done?"

**First off, I know this chapter is weird. It does bring in a strange aspect that I really was not expecting when I started this story. This does not mean that the story is still not an AH story. I believe in psychics and I don't think that what Jake can do is any more strange than Mother's intuition. If you can believe that a mother can have the sudden feeling that her child is in danger then we can extend belief that Jake has that same link to Bella. As he said, it is not romantic in any form! Jake does not love Bella! He just wants to protect her. So, I'm dying to hear what you guys think so please drop me a review.**

**To my fire crew: Hope you all aren't too disappointed about losing the bet on both sides, but you will be glad to know that half of you are right, but the title is for the NEXT chapter. So feel free to keep the bet alive. =D**

**By the way, I could have left you with a cliff hanger, but I didn't. See how much I LOVE YOU ALL?  
**


	21. Set Fire to The Rain

**I just want to say, I absolutely love this chapter. I have been planning this one since day one, long before the song became popular, probably right after they sang Turning Tables on Glee (Yes, I watch Glee and I love it!) and I discovered Adele, a singer with the most amazing pipes. Almost the entire premise of this story was inspired by my fire/ambulance crew and _this_ song. I Adele hard core. If you don't know who she is, well, quite frankly you must be living under a rock. I will say though that if the radio stations don't stop over playing her stuff that I'm going to be really pissed. I love her songs, but when I hear them too much it sort of ruins it. Oh, speaking of that, here's one of her songs that the radio never plays and I absolutely adore it, be sure to check out 'Chasing Pavements'. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but I burn for Dirty Edward. Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 21**

**Set Fire to The Rain**

"I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Let it burn while I cried

Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name."

~Adele

**BPOV**

_My fingers slide through his soft bronze hair while his mouth devours my skin, trailing fiery heat across my stomach, down, down…_The alarm sounds and I smash the off button. I can't believe I forgot to turn it off. Fuck my life. I could try to go back to sleep, but it won't do me any good, the dream is ruined, shattered by the sheer reality of the empty space beside me. I sigh. It's been three days since I took Rosalie's advice, and here I am, alone. I honestly thought it would work and now I just feel stupid for ever believing that. The words I said bounce around in my memory.

'_You're not going anywhere, Edward. You _**will**_ come to me, and right now, you will cum _**for**_ me.'_

Ugh…in the heat of the moment it sounded like the right thing to say, but now the thought of it makes my cheeks flush with a flash of heat. It's kind of nice in a way. It's been entirely to cold lately, like all the warmth has been sucked out of my life. I wonder if it will be like this all the time when he's gone, when he's moved on to Port Angeles. My stomach twists in knots. In just a few days time, I may never see Edward Cullen again. A couple of months back and I would have relished the thought, now it makes my chest ache in the most uncomfortable way. Love hurts.

With all of my effort, I force myself to crawl out from beneath my thick comforter. I reach for my phone, checking Facebook, my text messages- ten from Mike, one from Dad, another from Jake. I automatically delete the ones from Mike. Recently, he's taken to asking me out several times a day, just out of nowhere. No one knew about Edward and I. Well, Rose knew, but she caught me in a very compromising situation what with the bloodshot eyes and sexed up hair and all. Anyway, what I can't understand is what would make Mike show such a sudden interest. Could he have somehow know Edward and I had gotten close and now he thinks he has a shot at me or something? Whatever. We've always been friends, and that's all were ever going to be. I told him as much. That didn't seem to deter him. Who knows what the hell he's thinking. All I know is the dude is starting to annoy me- leaving flowers at my door, popping up at random places like the grocery store and the park and striking up a conversation. I'm not sure he gets the concept of subtlety. Not that it would work on me anyway. Mike isn't Edward.

God, I'm one of _those_ girls…I need help.

Swallowing down my idiotic thoughts, I read the message from Dad.

_Hey, sweetie, you want to hit the lake with your old man? There's a storm coming in later so the fish should be biting like crazy._

I consider the idea of sitting in a boat all day with him, attempting to make jokes, trying to bond while my heart is ripping itself into tiny pieces. I let myself think over the likely-hood that I might fail at such a task while I check Jake's message.

_Party tonight, my house, you in?_

Hmm, drinking, that's definitely something I could do, but I haven't seen Jake since the incident, we've barely even spoken except to argue more. We've never fought this bad for this long. Then again, maybe the invite means he finally forgives me. I type out a reply.

_Definitely._

As for Dad, well, I'm pretty sure there's no way that I could convince him that nothings wrong with me if I spend the entire day on the lake with him.

_Sorry, old man, but your little girl has stuff to do, but how about dinner tomorrow with you and mom? I'll fry up your catch._

I press send. Dinner is a much easier endeavor, it's only an hour or two and I can avoid conversation by eating. My phone buzzes.

_Quality time and fish fry, you sure know the way to your father's heart. It's a date!_

Yeah, the map to Daddy's heart is easy. Unfortunately, even with a compass and a flashing neon sign, I doubt I could ever find my way to Edward's heart. My chest constricts and I force myself to my feet with a shiver. It has to get easier with time, doesn't it?

Apparently not. The day eventually gives way to night and there is no change. I still feel empty, cold. I spent the daylight hours trying to drown myself in a book. The words didn't seem to have any meaning, not when the characters were professing their love, or traipsing off to their death with their hands entwined tightly together. I didn't feel it, their happiness, their fear. Normally, a book like that would make my heart pound in my chest, make my palms sweat, but it did nothing and when I closed the book on their happy ending I felt sick. The churning of my inside makes me want to stay home, but this is my chance to get Jake back in my life, and I can't ignore it.

I find my way to the reservation, taking the old back roads that allow my truck to test itself. Dad was right about the storm, it's slowly starting to drizzle and it's making the dirt road muddy, it's almost fun to romp through it-almost. When I finally get to Jake's house I rush a bit to the front door to avoid getting rained on too much. I don't want to ruin my dress. Yes, my _dress_. I figured maybe if I dressed up for the occasion, it might make me feel a little better. It doesn't. The only thing it does is make me have to avoid puddles of mud so I don't splash any on my midnight blue heels or matching one-shoulder dress. Although, it would have to be a pretty big splash to reach the hem line just below my ass. Regardless, it's still a pain.

I don't bother to knock. Etiquette is sort of lost on Jake and I. Knocking is for friends, not family. Family…hm, it's odd to think I still consider him so, but I do. He's like the brother that I can't help loving no matter how much of an ass he's been.

The music is loud, the place packed with Jake's friends from the reservation. When I walk in, I could swear that every head turns in my direction. I'm probably being self-conscious. There's no reason why they would all be looking at me. I make my way through the small home, searching for the face that may just bring a smile to mine. I find him in the kitchen leaning against the counter, a drink in one hand, a girl's hand in the other. What the-

"Bells!" He calls out to me, his eyes lighting up. and I feel the ghost of a smile twitch my lips. It feels so good to see him again that I can't help reacting as I always do. I throw myself into his arms, ignoring the girl at his side. He reacts in kind, dropping her hand to hug me tight, encasing me in safety and a fraction of heat.

"I've missed you," I say, unable to stop the words from falling out of my mouth.

"Me too, Bells, me too," he replies, the heat from his body stifling the aching cold on my body the tiniest bit. I let myself enjoy it for a moment or two before I pull back and try to compose myself enough to greet the girl.

Her hair is a rich chocolate brown, long and flowing halfway down her back ,and her skin a deep tan. I've known her my whole life and so has Jake, but I wouldn't say they've ever been friends. Leah Clearwater is the last person I would suspect to see holding Jake's hand, smiling up at him. They used to bicker constantly, fighting all the time, the tribe was always pushing them twice as hard as the other kids, always saying they were special. Last I heard, she was with Sam, happy, engaged. I wonder what happened.

"Leah, hi, how are you?"

"Good," she says with a smile before kissing Jake on the cheek. "I'll just let you two catch up. I think I saw Seth going for the alcohol and my parents will kill him if he comes home drunk again. He may be going to college in the fall, but he's still only 17."

She touches my shoulder lightly as she leaves, a friendly gesture that makes me do a double take. She hasn't said one nice thing to me since we were 5 and she pushed me in the lake. Weird. I can barely wait until she's out of hearing range, before I start the Spanish inquisition.

"When, what…how did this happen?"

Jake smiles, grabbing my hand and leading me out back to the covered porch. It's quiet out here, nothing, but the pitter patter of rain on the ground. He sits down on the old wooden bench that we carved our names in when he first moved in here right after high school, before I left. My skin breaks out in goose bumps and Jake reaches out his arms, inviting me to embrace him. I don't even pause. He's the first to break the silence.

"There's something I've never told you, Bells, something I should have told you a long time ago. I'm ready to tell you now."

I listen quietly, somehow managing not to freak out as he explains imprinting to me, but when he gets to the part about Leah, I can't hold my tongue anymore.

"So Sam was her imprint, but than why didn't it work between them? I mean, when you don't love the person like a brother or sister the way we do, wouldn't it make like the ultimate, perfect relationship."

Jake laughs.

"Haven't you figured it out yet, Bells? There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. And just because Leah and Sam cared about each other and Leah felt a protectiveness over him doesn't mean it was all rainbows and butterflies. But you aren't the only one who assumed that, Leah thought that when he told her he loved her that they would have this fairy tale relationship because of that bond. The truth was that although I think Sam might have at one time cared for Leah, his side of the bond wasn't nearly as strong, just like your side isn't as strong as mine. He pulled Leah along for awhile, thinking it would work, until one day it didn't. He found himself falling in love with Leah's cousin, Emily, and he broke it off with her. It devastated Leah. That's why when you and I fought, she came by to see me. She thought that I had loved you, and had been hurt the same way she had. For whatever reason, she felt drawn to comfort me in my misery. When she realized that I never loved you that way, and the real reason for why I was so angry, well, we were talking and talking became dating and dating became love. I suppose I have you to thank for that."

"Your welcome, I guess, but Jake I never meant to hurt you. I thought you were happy with Jessica, I really didn't want to ruin that for you."

Jake shakes his head and pulls me away from him a little so he can look me in the eyes. He sighs.

"Bells, there's something else I'm keeping from you, but will you trust me when I say that right now isn't the time to tell you?"

A part of me is extremely curious, but I stomp it down. This is Jake, I can trust him. I nod my head.

"Good, I will tell you, I promise. When the time is right."

The house becomes suddenly quiet, the music shutting off, and I hear one of the Jake's friends, Jared, yell.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

Jake's smile widens until I can see all his teeth sparkling in the artificial light that beams over the porch from the small back light.

"Oh good, my special guest is here," he says, standing. I make to follow him, but he shakes his head. "If you trust me, Bells, you'll stay here, and remember what I said, okay?"

Edward's appearance in the doorway sends my emotions into a whirlwind. I want to run into his arms, to smack him, to scream, to laugh. I barely notice Jake's exit or the argument that ensues between him and Jared, bits and pieces of his angry rant waft out and I think I hear him say that he can have over anyone he wants, that the tribe isn't the boss of him. Good ol' Jake. It all hardly registers as Edward walks over to the bench cautiously, sitting down beside me. His shirt is a long sleeve white button-up, his pants black as the night sky. He's even wearing a tie. I don't think I've ever seen him in a tie, it makes my mouth water.

My hand shakes as he reaches for it, placing it in his own strong grip. There's an expression in his emerald green eyes that seems ominous, foreboding, and yet, the fire ignites inside of me at his touch. His hand travels up my arm, feather soft, and when it stops, cradling the cusp of my neck, I let out a sharp gasp. In an instant, his lips are pressing on mine, a groan escaping from his mouth and into my own. For a moment, I am at complete peace, in a space of time that is both infinite and incredibly short. He tastes like mint toothpaste and cinnamon, hot and spicy sweet. When he tries to pull back desperation clutches me.

"No, don't stop," I pant, my hand latching around his tie, pulling him forward as he groans deep and feral, resisting me, or at least attempting. Alas, his resistance is futile. I kiss him forcefully, savoring him as I would the most delicious dessert ,for that is what he is- my favorite indulgence.

I'm beyond lost when he detaches himself from me, his face scrunching in a grimace, the move seeming to cost him a lot of strength. I want to kiss him again, but my hands although strong, seem all at once far too weak.

"I can't," he whimpers, pulling his hands away with a groan of agony. It hurts me too. It hurts more than I knew I could hurt.

I assume he means that he can't be with me, that he can't stay.

"Please stay, you can if you want to…I-, I want you to."

"No, I can't, I want to so much, but I can't," he replies, his voice cracking with hurt. I don't understand, if he wants to stay then why is he going, why is he leaving me. Lightning flashes in the sky, making his emerald eyes flash. The rain begins to pour, the sky crying big, fat, tears as my lungs heave, my heart clenching in a vice grip. I ask the question that I'm not sure I truly want the answer to.

"Why?" I whisper, my body no longer cold, but burning, hot and alive, my blood coursing through my veins like lava.

I want nothing more than to latch onto him before he can answer, to drown in the flame that sparks between us, but my heart will not allow it, my mind will not go quiet. What in this world could make him leave? Why can't he love me?

He swallows hard his eyebrows furrowing. The rain taps the roof in a rapid rhythm- tink, tink, tink, tink, my heart beating in time with heat that threatens to choke me.

"I-, I did something," he begins, his hand automatically reaching up to tug on his hair. The thunder booms. "It was before-, before I knew that I-, before I knew that I could feel for you the way I do."

He avoids looking at me, gripping my hand blindly,

"I called Port Angeles…I pretended to be your Dad and I told them that you wanted that job. If I won chief, I was going to make you leave, force you into it if I had to."

He squeezes his fingers hard between mine as he breaks my heart into a thousand pieces and the fire fills my lungs. I can't breathe, can't speak. I feel the tears pooling in my eyes as realization dawns. I knew what he was from the beginning, I had it right all along and stupidly I've let myself fall right into his arms. How could he do this, to take me away from the family that I have missed so much, to banish me from my hometown full of people that love me and care for me, to deny me my chance at happiness simply because he didn't like me. What kind of person does that? A monster…he is a monster.

The tears begin to spill as I rip my hand out of his hold, I can't look at him, can't face him. I have no idea how this man, who I love, could do something so cruel or how I could have ever given him my heart. He tries to reach for me again, but I cringe away from his heat, towards the cold of his absence.

"But Bella, I called back," he says, filling the air with useless words. "After we, after- I called him back, I begged Aro to give me the job, to take me instead of you, he would take nothing less."

How does that change anything, how does that fix what's already been done? Now instead of losing my family, I have to give up him. The lies, the deceit, the pain he's put me through, forgiveness can't be given, not for this, not when I let him have so much of me, not when he almost drained me dry of everything good in my world, only to hurt me anyway in a stronger more powerful way by proving that I was an idiot to ever think that he was a good person. How is it I don't know that he's been lying all along that he hates me still and is doing everything in his power to hurt me? Well, if he is, then it's working, and I won't let him see that.

"Goodbye, Edward," I say, standing on wobbly knees. I race down the porch stairs and into the muddy grass. My heels break in the wet soil as Edward comes into the rain after me, the water soaking his dress shirt, exposing him for the world to see. He chases me across the yard, around front, running to me as I fumble for the keys to my truck. The key is in the lock when he turns me slamming his body into me so that I smash into the door, his lips finding purchase on mine, and I taste our tears, our sorrow while the storm rages around us and we set fire to the rain.

I try to stop my fingers from fumbling for the buttons on his shirt, to not wrap my legs around his waist. I even attempt to telekinetically force his hands not to wonder below the hem of my dress, but the fingers, legs, and his hands move on their own accord. He opens the door, tossing the keys onto the floor, and laying me across the bench seat, his greedy monstrous hands removing my dress, ripping my lace panties as my dignity disappears.

"I hate you," I pant, wishing I could mean those words as I tear off his shirt, popping buttons in my attempt to rid him of it quickly. I hope it cost a fortune.

"I don't care," he whimpers back as his mouth starts to explore the wet skin of my stomach before wrapping around a taut nipple. My insides curl. Another crash of thunder. The unzipping of his pants. The inferno building to a blazing molten mess as the lightning flashes in the sky and the rain pounds onto the metal roof of the cab. One of his hands grips my side as the other burrows deep in my hair in a far too gentle way. I don't want gentle, gentle is too much like love. I don't want to believe the lie. I'd rather get the monster, the monster will hurt me, at least that's real. My legs clutch his body against my will as I growl out to him.

"You've already broken me damn it, just fuck me."

The expression on his face is all agony and rage as he reaches for my arms, pinning them above me as he buries his cock so deep in me that I squeal. The pain is exquisite.

"I fucking hate you," I groan, my back arching against the leather seats. Maybe if I say it enough I'll actually start to believe it.

"I don't care, Bella. All I care about is that I make you fucking cum, I make your fucking toes curl, I make you scream like a banshee, and you will never fucking forget me just like I'll never forget you," he grunts, thrusting into me, his cock sliding along the walls of my pussy, causing my whole body to shake.

My tits bounce as he captures my lips in a kiss that makes me dizzy, and when he howls into my mouth like a rabid animal I think I might see stars, the entire cosmos behind my eyelids. It's too much, and just when I think I can't take anymore he tilts his hips ever so slightly and I am orbited to the moon as my cum seeps out of me in a gush, his name leaving me in a scream of pleasure that's probably loud enough to wake the dead.

"You will always be mine, Bella!" He growls, and I feel him stiffen inside of me as I float on a high. "Even if you hate me, even if you fall in love with someone and marry him and have precious fucking babies, I own you!"

"Yes," I whisper in my delirium and he explodes, filling me with a searing heat, squeezing my arms with a death grip, and just like that, it all stops- the rain and the fire.

I am in an instant indifferent and cold. I push away from him clearing enough space so I can slam the door and hit the lock only to conclude that I can't make myself move. The tears come full force as I lay across the bench seat, curling in on myself, hearing his words drifting through the metal and glass.

"I was an idiot, a jerk, a selfish ass. I thought only of myself, Bella." I recognize the tears in his voice, the pain in his words, and my hearts hurts for him, for me, for us. "I was all those things until I fell in love with you. You lit this fire in me and it burned all those bad things about me and continued to blaze until it became this inferno in my chest. That fire won't go out now, it will never die. I love you, Bella, and I know I don't deserve a second chance, I don't deserve you at all, but I will always burn for you...always."

I can't, I won't open the door, I won't look at him, I won't let myself, but inside, I'm dying. If he was aiming to hurt me, to tear me down into nothing, he has finally succeeded. When I can bring myself to sit up, to pull on my dress and put the keys in the ignition, he is gone, and I can't decide if that's for the best or the worst. Perhaps, it's a little bit of both.

**Ah! It's so sad and yet, so hot. Lol Just one (or possibly two) more chapters left and then the epilogue. It's weird to think that it's been over a year since I've started this. Work sucks...oh well. So, for all of those that are still sticking around. I love you! I truly, truly do, and I'm so sorry that I've been sort of MIA (and that you all are missing out on reviews replies- I love ever single review I get, I swear. Just no time to reply. I figure you guys would rather have me spend my spare time writing.), but like I said this story WILL get finished. That is my solemn vow to all of you. Now, here's your chance to brighten up my day a bit, go ahead press the review button, it's right down there. I know you see it! You, clicky, clicky, me, likey, likey. =D **


	22. Fire the Torrent Shark

**While writing this chapter I had to do some pretty odd research. Hopefully, the government doesn't start stalking me for the weird google searches I had to do.* That will make sense when you finish reading the chapter, promise! Anyway, sorry for the lag time again. I've been busy with work lately (I've now been at my job for a year...you have no idea how weird that is for me) and I won't bore you with my ramblings, but the bottom line is LIFE IS HARD. Shocking, I know. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but Dirty Edward is all heart here. It's kind of cute actually... No worries though, the dirty will be back for the final chapter and epilogue. Enjoy and Please Review!  
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**Chapter 22**

**Fire the Torrent Shark**

"There is no fire like passion, there is no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, there is no torrent like greed."~ Siddhartha Gautama

**EPOV**

The road to Port Angeles is smooth, but the distance, not so much. With every passing mile, I have to remind myself that Bella doesn't want me. She hates me and I can't say I blame her- I've ruined everything. I took too long to tell her how I felt and what I'd done. I should've told her earlier, then maybe she would've been more understanding and she could've found it in her heart to give me a second chance. That's what it all boils down to- a bunch of should've, would've, could've, but didn't scenarios. Basically, I'm a dumb ass, and this is all my fault. She deserves better.

When that knowledge becomes to real, I pull over onto the side of the road and wait until the urge to see her face subsides to something tolerable. The need won't go away completely, but I don't think it ever will. It is a beautiful, pure, desire to be with the woman I love. Unfortunately, it's something I can not give in to, not even after I take the threat out of her life because let's face it, forgiveness is not easily won. I don't know if I could survive her turning me down a second time and maybe even a third and forth time. The first hurt more than I can describe- it was like a piece of myself being torn away, ripped from my body. Maybe someday I'll be able to handle that pain, the aching frostbite of failure, for now though, her safety is more important to me then happiness. I will do anything and everything to keep her out of harm's way, even if it kills me in the process. Jacob doesn't think it will come to that, but if it does, I will happily lay down my life for hers.

I feel the vibration of my cell in my pocket and pull it free. Jacob's name flashes on the screen and my heart beat accelerates ten fold as I press the phone to my ear.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine…well, other than being an emotional wreck. Could you really not keep it in your pants? This wouldn't be half as bad if you didn't have to commit a fuck and run. In good news, it seems you're a front runner in the douchiest douche awards," he replies with a growl. The imprint has been flaring since last night, causing him to be almost as angry at me as she is, but the plan is still in effect, so unlike her, he has to put up with me. However, that doesn't mean he's being nice about it. His comments over the past 12 hours have been below the belt. I deserve it though, I deserve a whole lot worse. His words cause my stomach to roll and tighten. I feel sick. Disgusted in myself.

"Yeah, I'm expecting my award to arrive soon. Maybe you could do me a favor and smack me over the head with it." My response is automatic, there is no malice in it, only a resigned sadness.

"Whatever. Phase two is in motion. He got the package I left 'from Bella' and he just arrived at her house. She didn't answer the door, but he left some roses and an envelope on her porch. I managed to scoop them up."

There's a rustling of paper in the background and I feel suddenly nauseous. I'm not sure if I want to hear the words that Mike left for Bella. Actually, I'm almost positive I don't, but Jacob doesn't really give me the option.

" 'Dearest Bella, I can't say how happy I was to receive your message. I have longed for you from afar for so very long, and to find that you desire me in return has made me the happiest man in the world. I will do as you asked- I will end this and we will be together- forever and always. Love, Michael.' Makes you want to hurl, doesn't it?"

"You have no idea," I mutter. I knew Mike was delusional, but the fact that he believes Bella would ask such a thing of anyone is even more proof that he has gone over the deep end, he is a danger to her, a danger that I must eliminate.

"Good. Well…I'll keep an eye on Bella. Try not to screw up."

The phone line goes dead.

"I won't," I say to no one as I pull back onto the road and hit the gas.

I focus on the task at hand for the rest of the trip, ignoring my feelings, blocking out the ache in my chest. It's not until I'm sitting on the bare floor of my new house surrounded by boxes that remind me of the day she showed up at my door and slammed me into this very cardboard, that I let myself crack. I wrap my arms around my knees, resting my head on my kneecaps, and let the memories flow- the smell of her skin, the taste of her sweat, the sound of her voice. I bury myself in thoughts of her and my heart cracks in a thousand fissures. I've never felt so alone.

Seconds, minutes, hours- they tick by without notice. It's long since dark when I hear the creak of the door, the sound of his footsteps. This is the moment when my heart should be racing, my palms should be sweating, but I feel nothing, just numb and cold. I sit frozen, waiting and listening, uncaring. Any normal person would be scared out of their wits- not me. I have nothing, I am nothing- only an empty shell of the person I used to be. A part of me actually wants it all to be over. The wanting, the needing, the craving, the loneliness, the cold, but then I wouldn't have her and a life without her…even one where I don't see her, or talk to her is inconceivable. I let my hand wander into my pocket, and my thumb presses slightly against the button that will hopefully send me a savior. Simply knowing she is still in this world is enough for me to want to stay. I want to stay, if for no other reason then to pine for her for the rest of my existence while she lives a safe, happy life.

That thought brings me to lift my head, to stand and turn so I can face the gun that he aims at my head- the one that if in desperation he claims came from Bella, can only be traced back to him. The registration paperwork is solid- a favor called in by Jacob to an old friend. Unfortunately, the bullets inside are real. As a hunter, Mike knows weapons, he would know if the bullets were blanks and that would be a lot harder to conceal than a missing firing pin. I can only hope that in a moment of blinded infatuation he would trust Bella to give him a working, untraceable weapon, that he didn't take it apart to check and make sure it was functioning properly. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, but even complete morons have moments of brilliance- like the last time he tried to kill me for example. There's a possibility he took the gun apart, it's conceivable that the gun he holds is a different one altogether, and that my life is not in my own hands. I'm betting on Mike's stupidity and right now I feel pretty stupid myself.

"Ah, this is much better I think. I would much rather see the life leave your eyes," he says, a slow smile stretching across his face. My insides curl and twist, a mantra running through my head. _Don't look at the cameras…don't look at the cameras…_I quadruple checked the security cameras after mounting them in their hidden compartments_. _I know they are working, recording this very moment, the temptation to look at them is so strong, but if I do, I might give them away. I can't risk it.

Mike lets out a chuckle, amused with himself. I want to punch him, I really do, but I have to get him talking first. I have to get every ounce of proof I can.

"What are you doing here, Newton?" I say, my voice flat, lifeless. I'm shocked it didn't crack in fear.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asks, stepping forward to jab my forehead with the barrel of his gun. "Any last requests, Edward?"

"Yeah, actually, tell me why."

He cackles, just like a villain in some cheap superhero movie and I'm tempted to groan in disgust. In that moment, I make a decision. If he kills me, I'm haunting his ass. I hold back the retort on my tongue and simply eye him with an expression that I can only hope conveys earnest curiosity. He heaves a deep, irritated sigh.

"Alright, fine, if you must know. It's for Bella. She's mine…always has been, always will be, and I don't share. Even if you lived on the other side of the earth, I don't think she would forget you. This is the only way I can make sure that she never thinks twice about you for the rest of her life…Oh, and I may have failed to kill you last time, but don't let that give you any hope. This time I have a back-up plan."

I feel my blood run cold, like ice through my veins. The only good thing about this new information is that he is here, it means he is not near Bella, he cannot hurt her now- only me. My face pales as he pulls a small device from his pocket- an old cell phone, an odd looking one with a long wire that curls out of it and down around his wrist. I didn't even notice it until now. Oh, fuck…Mike recognizes the fear in me and his smile grows wide, menacing.

"Finally, some fear!"

He clicks the call button on the cell and I wince, not sure what's about to happen. The phone begins beeping repeatedly, echoing the fast, terrified rhythm of my heart.

He nods his head slightly to the sound as if it's music to his ears.

"Do you know what this sound is? The sound of my failure, but even in failure, I will win. Success for me is inevitable."

He clicks in a series of four numbers and the sound stops.

"If you have a sudden need for heroics, if a hand is laid on me in threat, I will arm this and if my heart stops beating or this phone is destroyed, the bomb that this is wirelessly connected to via radio-link will detonate regardless. I am the only one who can disarm it."

I glance around the room, looking for anything suspicious, anything I might have missed that could actually be a bomb. I don't even care about the cameras anymore. I have to know where the bomb is. Mike laughs at my frantic gaze of the room around me.

"Oh, Edward, the bomb is not located here…No, if I die tonight, my dearest will die with me. Just like the tragic Romeo and Juliet."

The words hit me with such a force that I feel my gut actually coil in on itself, as though I have been punched. The weight of it sends me crumbling to the floor on my knees as my breath comes out in short, wheezing gasps. Wet drops fall down my face in a instant of absolute uncertainty, a fear that there are no words to describe. It is greater than any terror I have ever felt, a sorrow unlike any there has ever been. My thoughts run wild as I consider a thousand different facts. How long will it take Mike to fire the gun only to find it doesn't work? How will I stop him from arming that boom without killing him knowing that will only kill Bella? I consider how much time has passed since he arrived, maybe 5 minutes at most. Is that enough time? Time…it's such a weird thing, always moving forward clicking by without worry or need. How is it that it can turn seconds into hours, an infinity even? I watch Mike's finger fall to the trigger of the gun and just like that the world is in slow motion, every detail bright and clear. I want it to work, I will it to work. My own death would be not near as painful as hers. I pray, for the first time that I can remember, that the gun fires and that I die. Please, this all I ask. Just please let me die.

They say that your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die, all your memories of moments past flicking through your mind, but it's not like that with me. I picture the future, the future that I want more than anything- a future with Bella. I watch it all in my mind's eye. I see myself pleading for forgiveness, Bella graciously accepting after many attempts of begging. Some time after, I'm kneeling before her, asking for her hand. Later, Bella dressed in white, her hair falling in front of her gorgeous eyes. I brush it back as I kiss her, making her my wife. I lie with my hands embraced with hers as we touch her swollen belly. I cry at the sight of our newborn baby girl. I watch it all pass and I am grateful for every fight, every embrace, every moment spent with her until at long last we die, clutching one another in our old age, deep in sleep. It is more than I could ask for- to see this in my final seconds.

The sound of a gun shot unclenches every muscle in my body. I feel relieved and I welcome the pain…it never comes.

Time zips forward, seconds passing in an instant as my eyes register the blood that pools on Mike's abdomen. He falls to the floor and I watch his fingers inch to his pocket as a blood-curdling scream flies from my lips. I leap for his body, but I am too late. The sound of the beeping clenches my heart. Mike releases a shaky chuckle.

I yank the phone from his weak grasp and clutch his body with my free hand. I begin shaking him wildly.

"Disarm it! Disarm it, god damn it!"

He laughs, blood gurgling from his stomach as the beeps become long and drawn out as if nearing the end.

"I'll finally be with her now. My Bella," he mutters and I wind back my arm, prepared to pummel him in fury, but I stop, a light flickering on in my mind as I input the numbers frantically into the phone. The numbers I hope will be right. He is delusional, insane, but if I were him, those would be the numbers. Bella's birthday…0913. The beeping stops and Mike goes silent. I take his pulse. He's still breathing, just unconscious.

"If you can, now would be a good time to disassemble this thing!" I call out to the person who fired the shot, Jacob's contact. The police uniform is dark and against his dark brown hair and deeply tanned skin he's almost invisible in the shadows. I haven't seen Quil Ateara since he moved here to join the force and I didn't feel comfortable with his help at first, but Jacob assured me he could be trusted. The fact that he slept with Bella still bothers me to no end, but god willing, if he can unwire this thing from Mike, I'll happily agree not to ever beat him up for it. He slides his gun back into it's holster and rushes to my side.

"It's wired to go off if he dies and the bomb is near Bella, so whatever you have to do, do it now!" I scramble to give him room, placing the phone in his hand as I press my fingers to Mike's jugular, feeling his slowing pulse. At the mention of Bella's name, Quil works fast, removing the back cover from the cell, revealing a bundle of wires in an array of colors. He reaches for the pocket knife from his utility belt as sweat beads on his forehead. "Anytime would be nice!"

"Could you shut up already? I've only ever watched someone do this so unless you want Bella to die, keep your mouth shut!"

My nerves tighten as the beats between my fingers dwindle and Quil mutters under his breath about colors. I feel Mike's pulse slow to a crawl and I'm panicking. Inside, I am screaming 'Cut a fucking wire already!'. I inhale a breath, holding it in anticipation as Quil finally snips one of the many wires. The light from the phone dies and no more than an instant after, Mike follows.

***So yeah, I had to look up stuff about cell phone bombs...so if I get questioned by the government be prepared to defend me against allegations of terrorism. **

**This chapter is for all those that were asking 'What about Mike?'...Did you honestly think I would forget about him? Come on now. I may occasionally put sharp metal things in light sockets or lick windows, but I'm not that stupid...wait, where did I put my tin foil hat...damn it, the aliens can read my thoughts now. I suggest you send a review before they abduct me. =D  
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	23. Burned All Over

**So this last chapter I ended up having to split into two, because well, Edward wanted his own chapter. Lol I couldn't just tack on his part at the end so you all are getting not one, but TWO final chapters today. =D You're very welcome. Anyway, I'll let you get to reading and catch up with you at the beginning of the next chapter. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but prepare to get burned! Enjoy and Please Review!  
**

**Chapter 23**

**Burned All Over**

" 'Why are you wearing a mask, were you burned by acid or something?'

'Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.'"~ The Princess Bride

**BPOV**

He's been gone for a week now. I don't know how I feel about it. Okay, so that's a lie, I know how I feel- sort of. I'm conflicted, torn apart inside by the thought that I may never see him again, and that I might. I'm not sure at this point what I would do in either scenario. There are parts of me that want him here (more than just the obvious parts to my dismay) and other parts that would prefer he stay away. It's almost like I'm caught between two versions of myself, and that I've somehow managed to jumble them up together. To put it simply- it sucks. At times, I'm ready to run out the door and chase him down and the next minute, I want absolutely nothing to do with he-who-must-not-be-named.

I put on a good show of hiding my feelings though, or I suppose hiding myself would be a more appropriate word choice. I haven't left my house except to go to work, and when were not out fighting fires, I lock myself in my room at the fire house. Come to think of it, that probably makes my feelings pretty obvious. I can't find it in myself to care. If anybody notices my sudden change in demeanor, they don't mention it. In fact, no one seems to want to talk to me anyway. The crew avoids me, disappearing when I walk into a room, and whenever I pass Dad in the hallway he gives me a tight-lipped, mustached smile before escaping to his office. Jacob hasn't called or text since _that_ night. I'm not even sure I want him to. I really just want to be alone.

I stretch out my legs on the cement roof, leaning back on my palms. I haven't been here since he left and for good reason. Just sitting here brings back all the memories- the whispered cries, the trembling of our skin. I can barely stand it. He's ruined this spot for me, forever tainting it with his presence. Is that a good thing, a bad thing? I'm not sure. All I know, is that tonight I was drawn here, the key weighing so heavily in my pocket that I walked from home just to ensure complete solitude without notice. It could be that I miss him, it could also be that the air is clear enough that the stars in the heavens are so bright that I simply couldn't stay away. Unfortunately, it's probably the former reason. The thought makes me sigh heavily.

It's cool out, the air a touch too cold for the beginning of July. The heat wave has gone and left a mid-summer chill that makes my exposed arms shiver in the dark. I probably should have brought a blanket or a jacket up here. Whatever. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No. That's not true. It should be what doesn't kill you, doesn't kill you, it only hurts like a bitch. Yeah, that definitely makes more sense. My internal ramblings are thrown off by the sound of laughter and with a grimace, I peer over the edge of the roof to see who dares disturb my wallowing. They better have a damn good reason.

The sight of Kate and Garrett playfully shoving each other is the last thing I expect to see. They went home hours ago. What are they doing here? Garrett pushes Kate gently against the side of the building, in a small alcove, his arms resting at either side of her, pinning her effectively between him and the wall. I watch as his head dips down to the crook of her neck and Kate giggles. I'm just about to look away and leave them to their privacy when she smacks him lightly on the shoulder.

"Gar! We have to get inside. The meetings probably already started," Kate says with a smile, ducking herself underneath his arm and escaping him. He groans in disappointment, chasing after her as they rush through the door.

Meeting? What meeting? I notice then that the parking lot is packed and one vehicle sticks out amongst the crowd, one that is rarely, if ever here- Jake's rabbit. What the fuck is going on?

I pull myself up and head down to the common area. Maybe I just forgot that there was a meeting, maybe someone neglected to tell me, but then, what is Jake doing here? My answer comes as Dad's voice drift down the hallway.

"You're sure she's at home, Jake?"

I hear him heave a sigh in response.

"Her trucks there, and Bella doesn't go anywhere without her truck. She's not here, Charlie, now let's get on with this."

I freeze in the middle of the hallway as the murmuring of voices dies down and Dad once again speaks.

"Alright, well, thank you all for coming. As many of you know, we've decided to abort the mission. The operation has taken a turn for the worst and at this point feelings are too strong to be messing around with-"

"I told you this would happen." The interruption comes from a lilt voice that's unmistakable- Alice. "I told you from day one that this way a terrible idea. We should have let things happen at there own pace. It wasn't our place to interfere."

"Yes, and you were right. I shouldn't have bet against you," Dad concedes, his tone somber. "But I can't change what's happened now. All I can do is ensure that we no longer have a part in it. So from this point forward there will be no more playing match-maker for any of you. If Bella and Edward are truly meant to be together, as we all suspect, then it will happen without our inference."

"What about the supposed lottery winnings, how will we explain that?" Emmett's booming voice chimes in, and I feel my body begin to quake, my brain processing every word with profound intensity. I'm finding it hard to breathe.

"Bella has yet to ask about the money, but when and if she does, I'll come clean to her, tell her it was all a rouse, that she wouldn't have believed that I would retire early and I needed some sort of ploy. I don't know if she'll forgive me, but that's my problem, not yours."

"Oh yes, because you're the only one who played this game, _Chief_, is that it? What a load of shit," Rosalie says. "This was _all _of our doing and we should tell her together. We can't put everything on you even if you're the one who thought up the idea, we all played a part. I voted for her, the vote that induced the entire scheme, Emmett drew her attention away from the television after the video ended by streaking naked for fuck's sake! We all did this! Now let's take responsibility for it."

"She's right, Charlie, we do this together," Esme's sweet voice comes into the fold and I hear my Mom murmur in agreement.

All of them…they all did this. The dream from my coma comes back to me, the wolf teeth smiling from human faces. All along they were predators and I was their prey, _we_ were their prey. I sink to the floor quietly, my head falling into my hands, my stomach churning with the effort to keep myself calm, to hear everything that is said.

"But when?" Jacob asks. "And how do we explain this, how do we explain how we all assumed those two belong together and that we could no longer sit idly by, hoping they would discover it. I know Bella probably better than anyone here and she is very adamant that she knows what's best for herself. I can tell you she isn't going to take this lightly. Especially, considering how far this whole plot has gone. I mean, I dated Jessica fucking Stanley for pete sake, knowing full well she was banging Edward behind my back. I made her think I was mad at her for a long time even though I wasn't just so she couldn't have me to lean on, so she would have to step out of her comfort zone, but she won't see it as me helping her to find love, she'll see it as me being a terrible friend and it's true, I am a terrible friend. It's only because of this whole stupid mission that I even found love myself. If I hadn't been avoiding Bella, pretending to be angry, I wouldn't have Leah and how do I repay Bella? By being a shitty fucking friend!"

"No, you're no-" Jasper adds in a southern drawl, but he's quickly cut off.

"Yes, I am! I lied, even if just by not telling her the truth. I've kept her in the dark about this plan that I went along with and my fears of Mike-"

"You kept us all in the dark about _that_, Jacob Black," Carlisle snarls, anger laced throughout his voice. I've never heard him angry before. "And I almost lost my nephew because of it."

My heart suddenly slams against my chest. What does he mean lost? Was Edward in trouble? Have I spent all this time wallowing when he's been in danger?

"I know, Sir, and I'm sorry for that," he murmurs. "But how were we supposed to know that he was completely psychotic? We just wanted to get him away from Bella. We didn't know he would actually attempt to kill Edward."

What? My hear constricts tightly, my lungs ceasing to work as terror and anger bubbles under my skin. The anger wins. Here's the thing about best friends, when you're around someone for as long as I've been around Jake, you can tell when they're lying. The slight change in his pitch is proof positive that he knew of Mike's intention. At least, I think so, maybe I'm not the best lie detector at this point, considering he's been lying for months. Perhaps I just didn't want to notice it until this point, or perhaps that's not really a telling sign. Still, that shift in pitch, is the only thing that's registering at the moment. Deep down, I'm convinced he knew, I'm not sure how, but it's not something I can let pass. The only thing I care about is that Edward's life was threatened and I'm sure Jake knew, I just am.

A surge of rage passes over me and I'm standing, running, shouting at the top of my lungs as I hurdle into Jake, smashing him to the ground. There's a burst of voice around me, gasps and screams as I punch Jake square in the nose. The pain in my knuckles feels good. I made sure not to tuck my thumb in, just as he taught me, so I know I haven't dislocated anything, except maybe Jake's face. I don't get the chance to throw a second blow before I'm being pulled away, several arms holding me back as Jake groans, placing a hand to his bleeding nostrils.

"I can explain, Bella. Please let me explain," he begs, wincing in pain as I thrash against my hold.

"There's no need. I heard everything! You're a piece of shit, you know that? All of you are!" The room goes quiet, heads tilting down to the ground, and my eyes tear up, from frustration, sadness, a whole slew of emotion that I can't even comprehend. "And now he's gone, he's gone and I don't even know if I want him back. You've done this! He broke my heart, shattered it, and you all let it happen! And I can't breath, I can't think about anything except that you knew, Jake." He flinches and the shame on his face is all the confirmation I need. "You did! You knew he was in danger and you didn't do anything. You could have killed him!"

"He wanted to do it, Bella, he wanted to get Mike away-"

"I don't care! Don't you understand, I-" I choke on the word, I don't want to say it, I don't want it to be so definite. I can't let it escape my thoughts, the only place that has ever thought that word in relation to Edward. If I say it out load, acknowledge it in spoken words, then the absence of him will be too much for me.

Rosalie lifts her eyes to mine and she laughs, the crazy bitch fucking laughs! I growl at her and the arms of who I now realize are my own mother and father, curl around me a little tighter.

"Just say it! You love him! You love him and he's all you can think about because from the moment you let your guard down and opened up your heart, he squirmed his way in and now you can't think about anything, but him." Her eyes drift along the room and stop on the most unlikely place, Emmett. "Even if he drives you crazy, even if he's being a total asshat. You want him, you want him and only him."

Realization dawns on me and the rest of the room, I watch as Emmett's face lights up, the twinkle in his eyes sparking in a moment of pure elation, of recognition of what they have probably been hiding for quite a while. For a moment, we're all lost, caught in the gaze that travels between the two, the shock of a love that's so obvious, so pure that it takes all the breath out of the air. There is silence, and the arms around me go slack. I see it then, everyone is looking at them as they've looked at Edward and I for the past few months, that look that says 'Finally'. My anger rushes out of me replaced by a longing need. I know what I want, what I need and it doesn't matter that they all knew it before me or that they plotted with each other intent on interfering with my life. I won't deny it, not another second.

In an instant, I slip free of my restraints and run, bolting out of the door and racing down the street. I'm not sure what to do, where to go, but my feet somehow know. My phone and my truck are at home, a few blocks away, but I run off the sidewalk long before my street, to the dispatch center in town, the dispatch center that was built only a year or so ago and is now used by not only Forks, but also by Port Angeles since they got tired of their old system.

I thank the universe when I discover the door unlocked and race up the stairs to the call unit where a dozen people sit at headsets. Their eyes widen when they see me and panic ensues when I reach for the nearest girl's headset. We got a brief course on the logistics of dispatch in training so it's easy enough to get a radio call to the whole of Port Angeles and Forks- every radio, every station. It's not so easy however to fight off the girl with the light brown hair that has streaks of blonde-honey and eyes that would probably be a gentle brown if not for her fiery gaze.

"What are you doing? Give me that!"

She reaches for the headset and I have to continually push her away, fighting for control. I'm probably going to get in a lot of trouble for this. My heart just doesn't care.

**Yep, Charlie didn't win the lottery, Jake knew all along that Jessica was fucking Edward, Rosalie voted for Bella to help her find love and everyone played their part. HA! Joke's on you Bella. Then, to top it all off Rosalie and Emmett! =D Makes you just want to say awwww, doesn't it? Well, come on, leave a review. I know you want to just skip ahead, but there has to be some sort of reaction to this epic final piece of the puzzle. **


	24. Hot Mess

**YAY! It's the conclusion! *Does a happy dance* You guys have no idea how hard it's been to finish this despite all the shit that's been going on this past year with me getting a job and my husband only working one Saturday a month (leaving me little time to write), but I have done it. I'm the CHAMPION! Seriously I want to cry and laugh and have a party now. This has been so much work. Before you ask, yes, there will probably be an epilogue, but you'll most likely have to wait for it. My energy is zapped. Oh, but the good news is, you'll have something to look forward to. Anyway, thank you all for reading this and sticking with me through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but Dirty Edward still has one last performance! Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Chapter 24**

**Hot Mess**

"Well you're a hot mess and I'm fallin' for you,

And I'm like hot damn let me make you my boo

Cause you can shake it, shake it, shake it,

Yeah you know what to do,

You're a hot mess and I'm lovin' it, hell yes!"~ Cobra Starship

**EPOV**

I bring up the rear in our group following the crew as Aro leads them jogging on the trail lit by ground lights, light shinning and glistening off the sweat that gleams on my skin in the cool night air. With my teeth gritted in concentration, and my radio hooked on my waistband, my feet pound the soft earth and I try to concentrate on something other than her hair, her face, her smell. It's always with me no matter how fast I run. The team runs closely in front of me, talking to each other, giggling and laughing on our nightly run. The sound of happiness irritates me.

"Shut your traps and run!" I bark the orders, trying to harden my own emotions.

"Yes, Sir, Lieutenant, Sir!" Victoria yells back, her eyes glossing over with lust when she looks back at me. It makes me want to vomit.

"Eyes Forward, Ms. Lovell!" I growl and she scowls at me, her curly, red hair whipping around when she turns her head. The scent of her daffodil body spray wafts into my nose and I hold back the urge to gag. I miss the smell of Strawberry and honey-suckle. It's more than just the scent I miss though. I haven't heard from her, haven't seen my Bella, since I left, and I miss everything about her. I miss her with an intensity that I didn't know was possible, but I know she needs time. Even if she can ever forgive me, it will take time. Unfortunately, the passing of time is slow going these days, especially when I can't get her off of my mind- like now. Her absence makes me angry, cold, heartless.

"Faster, Ms. Lovell," I shout ahead when Victoria starts slowing, her breath coming out in wheezes. We've been running for a few miles. I should probably let her take a break, but I don't feel like stopping. "Pick up the fucking pace!"

Shivers run through the body, all the way down to my bones. I'm getting used to the cold, but I still wish for heat, for the fire and flames. I watch as Victoria tumbles forward, collapsing onto the ground. I snarl under my breath and begrudgingly help her up, Her hand feels wet and clammy. She uses the leverage to pull me close to her. It feels wrong. We have fallen behind, the team jogging farther and farther away and in the old days, I might have cared about the lustful look in her teal eyes or the way her free hand slowly moves down my chest, but this is not the old days. Her hand is not Bella's, she is not Bella. I snatch up her hand, gripping her wrist tightly.

"Don't touch me," I hiss and her eyes widen with a touch of fear-good. With a shove, I free her from me and she rushes forward, running to catch up with the others. I let myself fall to the ground, stretching out on the dirt path, gazing up at the stars.

I wonder where Bella is, what she's doing right now. I wonder if she knows that I'm thinking about her, that I can't think about anyone, but her. Alone in the woods, I let myself believe that she does know and in a moment of complete insanity I can hear her calling out to me. The static from my radio awakens me from my daze and I realize that I'm not crazy, Bella is calling my name.

"Edward! Edward, if you can hear me- Let go of me- please come home- damn it, bitch, can't you see this is important? I'm trying to fucking profess my feelings here.- You were right, you don't deserve a second chance, but needing you isn't an option. We'll figure this out, we'll make it work, but the bottom line is that I burn for you too. Come home, Edward, I love you."

I try to hold back my insane laughter, but it bubbles up and out of me as my body tingles with warmth. The voices in the background grow louder as Bella's voice fades.

"Are you shitting me! You called the cops?- Ma'am, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say…"

The radio goes silent and as my laughter continues to flow, I run to the station, to my car, and I'm flying down the highway. It is the longest hour of my life.

I'm not the only person in the Forks police station parking lot when I arrive. The place is packed, and yet the moment my car pulls up, all eyes seem to turn to me. There are several pats on the back as I run inside. I can't find it in me to care who they come from. I see Bella almost immediately, sitting in the one cell that the police station houses next to Richie, the town drunk, he murmurs in annoyance when Bella bolts for the bars and reaches her hand out to me. The world blurs when our lips touch through the metal, sparking a roaring flame. Kissing through a jail cell should be uncomfortable, but it doesn't matter. I don't think it's possible for me to feel anything except her right now. I hear Charlie shouting in the background and the cell door slides open, it's the only thing that could separate our lips and they are back on mine as quickly as they are gone.

In an instant, her legs are wrapped around my waist, her arms curled around my neck and her hands buried in my sweaty hair and I don't give a fuck that were surrounded by practically the entire town, even her father. My hand travels under her shirt and I open my eyes enough that I can find the nearest door to escape through- it's an office and by the sounds of shouting voices were not supposed to be in here. Bella laughs into my mouth as I lock the door behind me. Her laugh is cut off by a moan when my hand slips beneath her bra, my fingers twisting around one of her nipples.

"Oh, Edward," she murmurs, and the sound of my name is enough to make my head spin.

I barely notice the sound that the papers and office supplies make as my hand swoops across the desk and everything hits the floor. I have Bella and that's all that matters, all that's important, and as I place her on the desk I'm overcome by it all. There is a moment of silence as she discards her shirt. I'm at a loss for words, Me- who always has something to say, some seductive piece of dirty talk that slips from my mouth and makes women swoon. Thankfully, I'm not the only dirty one here. Seeing my frozen stance, Bella reaches forward, gripping a fistful of my shirt and pulling it over my head.

"Don't hold back, I want all those bitches out there to know your mine,"

She kisses me, deep and rough while her fingers trail down my front with a hot trail, finding the waistband of my pants. I hear the zipper slide, feel the cool air as she pulls me free of the fabric and her hands enclose around me. A growl erupts from my chest.

"That feels like fucking heaven,"

My cock twitches in her palm and my vision blurs. I reach around her body to unclasp her bra. It flies to the floor and beneath my fingers her skin is soft and supple, breaking out in a shiver. My hands find her waist and slip her free of her jeans and the seductive black lace thong that I manage to slide into my pocket. Bella notices my thievery and giggles.

"Never took you for a panty man," she pants, lying back on the desk her arms around my neck, pulling me with her. My lips pull up in a smirk.

"Nope, not a panty man, just a Bella man," I say, burying my face in the crook of her neck, sucking on the soft skin below her ear. She cries out my name and I chuckle against her skin.

"Not good enough, I expect you to scream," With that command, I tear her arms from my neck, ignoring her groans of protest as I flip her, pinning her hands between mine and the desk, locking her in the hottest position I have ever seen. Her ass is pressed back into my straining cock, her back bowed and her head tilted to the sky. She wants it, she wants my cock so bad that her pussy's begging for it, pulsating against me. "Don't disappoint me, love."

I sheath myself fully inside her and Bella is anything, but disappointing.

"Yes! Oh my fucking god, Edward!"

"That's a good girl," I whisper, letting my head fall so that I can nibble on her shoulder and nuzzle her hair. "You're such a good play thing, love, so good with direction."

I slowly thrust out of her tight walls and slam back into her, ensuring that her hips slam into the desk, Bella rewards me with another scream.

"Fucking Christ!"

My hands tighten around hers and I slide her forward so that she's laying flat on the desk, her tits smashed against the wood. I place her hands on the other edge of the desk and curl my fingers against hers.

"Hold tightly, love,"

I kiss her neck softly as I run my hands up her arms to her shoulders and finally, to her perfectly round ass. I grip her ass cheeks in my hands, massaging the skin roughly as I thrust once again, breathing deep to ensure I don't explode. Bella's grip loosens at the sensation and I grin in triumph before smacking her ass hard.

"OH!" She squeals, her fingers tightening back around the wood and her walls throbbing around me, her juices soaking out of her and coating my thighs as the imprint of my hands appears on her ass.

"Hm, maybe I spoke to soon," I pant, returning to massaging her ass with my palms. She mewls under my touch, purring in approval and I have to hold myself back from plowing into her. I place one of my hands in her hair, petting it softly, letting her turn her head so I can see her face. "Maybe you're not such a good girl after all, but that's okay. I'll take you anyway I can get you…as long as your mine."

My hand tightens around the loose strands as I begin thrusting with purpose and I watch as her mouth drops open, the screams of pleasure erupting from her. There is no more rational thought at the sight, just heat and pressure, and wet, so wet.

"Bella, fuck, you feel too good, love," I yell out as she tightens around me, my hands slipping from her hair and ass to reach across the table and meet hers. Our fingers lace together. I pry her fingers loose, guiding her body back so that her back rests against my front. The angle is exquisite when I thrust upwards and when I fondle her tits, pulling on her nipples she shudders and praises me.

"Edward, I'm going to cum, oh god, yes, Edward, I fucking love you!"

She loves me…and that's all it takes. With a snarl, my hands grip her waist, my lips find her neck and my teeth bite down, my cum spilling inside of her, filling her as she melts into my arms. She kisses me as I ride the waves of a fiery high that only she can provide, her hair splaying in every direction, our skin coated in sweat and shouts of cheer and outrage coming from the other side of the door. This is one hot mess.

**The End...for now**

**Epilogue to come later  
**

**LOL You didn't think I was going to let them have a normal ending now did you? Office sex with the whole town outside the door...yeah, awesome, I know! I'm not sure how I even thought of it. Just another moment of awesomeness for me. Go ahead bash or praise away. I can take the heat. The review button's right there...make my day, punk! =D**


	25. Epilogue: Burnt to Ashes

**HI! How's everybody doing? Bet your glad to hear from me again? No? Well, tough! Lol I'm back to give you what I promised, the epilogue to Hot Mess and to say THANK YOU, to every last one of you that stuck with me from beginning to end. Once again, I own nothing Twilight, but Dirty Edward will always be mine, but I will share him with Bella, I guess...if I have to. =D Enjoy and please review!  
**

**Epilogue**

**Five Years Later**

**Burnt to Ashes**

"Who said that love was fire? I know that love is ash. It is the thing which remains when the fire is spent. The holy essence of experience."~ Patience Worth

**BPOV**

The oven beeps, the timer making that shrill, obnoxious noise that seems to strike every one of my nerves. I rush into the kitchen, my tired feet aching after a long day of work and chores, it is all enough to make any women want to scream yet I feel only joy as I pull out the roast. A hand squeezes my waist and instinctually, I melt back into the body of it's owner, drawn in by the cinnamon scent of him.

"How's dinner coming, Mrs. Masen-Cullen?"

Even after being married for four years, he still says it so reverently, like it's a miracle that it actually happened. His hot breath on my neck makes me giggle softly, but it dissipates to a sigh when his hand wanders under the hem of my shirt, sliding along my flat belly. It's still to early for me to show, but the knowledge of a possible little Edward inside of me, a boy with my eyes and his hair, is enough to make me glow inside and out. My hands work swiftly as I try to fight through the Edward fog to finish dinner. My husband tends to have this affect on me, this ability to make me forget anything and everything except him. That's how we ended up the town's top most gossiped about couple, the couple everyone eyes and shield's their children's eyes around incase we strip down and fuck in the middle of the grocery store. I actually find it kind of hysterical. So we love having sex with each other, it's definitely not something I'm going to apologize for.

"I love you," Edward whispers and my insides soften, my heart hammering in my chest as the thought of food disappears from my mind. He gently pulls me towards the hallway that leads to our bedroom, but the sound of the doorbell kills our footsteps, Edward groans. "Go away!"

I laugh, calling out to Jake, "Come back in thirty minutes!"

There's a growl of irritation on the other side of the door.

"Hell no, I'm done, Bells! Come here or I will leave the hellion out here!"

Edward heaves a deep sigh as I pull myself free of his arms and rush to the door, to the one thing that could make me deny him.

"For pete's sake, Jake, she's a three year old, what could she have possibly done that is so bad?"

When the door opens, my daughter is shoved into my arms, a tiny girl with deep brown hair and bright green eyes.

"Mommy!" she cries out, and I notice her blotchy red face. She's been crying, probably because Uncle Jake's temper got the best of him. I look up, ready to scald him, but a laugh escapes me instead. His face is covered in marker- blue, black, red, and green, and his hair is tied up in a dozen hair ties and barrettes.

"Permanent marker, Bells! I feel asleep on the couch for two minutes, _two minutes_!"

Edward comes to the door behind me, pulling Eliza from my arms and placing her on the floor as he hides a chuckle behind his hand. I'm not sure how he does it, but he manages to put on a stern face. He grabs her lightly under the chin, making her look him in the face.

"Elizabeth Ann Masen-Cullen, you will march your little butt to your room, but first you will apologize to Uncle Jake."

"No!" she screams, her face indignant, her little cheeks puffed in anger.

"Now, Elizabeth!"

She continues in her defiance and without hesitation, Edward swats her lightly on the butt. She cries as if she's just been murdered and he scoops her up quickly to carry her to her room. I can still hear her wailing from the front door, but he did the right thing, he's a good Dad.

"Sorry about that," I say, feeling slightly embarrassed. All children need discipline, but it still sucks. Everyone pretends kids are always rainbows and butterflies. Well, their not, that's one thing I've learned since having Eliza. I still wouldn't change being a Mom for anything. "Come on in, I think I have some stuff that might take most of it off."

Jacob begrudgingly agrees and I take him into the kitchen, where I help him remove the hair ties and barrettes.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this," he murmurs, fear appearing in his eyes. "Leah's due in less than a month and I'm just not sure I'm cut out for being a dad."

"You will be, the moment you see his little face for the first time, everything will change," Edward cuts in, and I realize the screaming has stopped or at least quieted down enough that I can't hear it.

He comes up beside me, capturing my hand in his.

"Stay for dinner," I declare. "Call Leah and have her come over. The whole crew is on their way now, and we have plenty."

His eyes light up, Jake loves roast and I know the smell of it in the air is more than enough to keep him here. He pulls out his cell and Edward hugs me against him with a groan, pressing his aching hard-on into me and making me dizzy. The door bell rings. Damn this family, damn them all to hell.

It's not long before bellies are full. Glancing around the packed living room, I try to take in everything, Jasper twirling the wedding ring on Alice's finger, Rosalie and Emmett talking about changing the paint in my old house next door (where they now live-as the soon to be Mr. and Mrs. McCarty), Eliza sitting on Grandpa Charlie's lap, clapping his hands together with hers as Mom and Esme chit chat about gardening and Jake talks with Carlisle about the new maternity wing of the hospital while Leah roles her eyes at his over protectiveness. There's so much to smile at, to be thankful for, to love…

The clock strikes seven and Edward catches my eyes with an evil glint as he pulls out the remote. Dad pulls out his lottery ticket and a bubble of butterflies flutters in my stomach. I watch as his face lights up as each number is called and when the final number matches he whoops loudly, his arms flying into the air with triumph…well, until the screen flashes bright blue and when the scene returns instead of the news anchor it's mine and Edward's faces.

"Sorry, Dad, but you have to admit you deserved it," video Bella says with a laugh.

I watch Dad's face fall into a soft smile as he shreds the ticket and tosses it to the floor. He guffaws loudly and Eliza looks up at him, her expression full of confusion and curiosity.

"What's so funny, Grandpa?" she asks, her voice small and full of childish wonder as the room fills with laughter.

On the screen, video Bella looks over at video Edward and with a nod to each other they smile as they lift a small, hand-made sign in bright blue and pink. The memory of making it flits into my mind. Sitting with Eliza, guiding her tiny hand in mine as we wrote out every word together while explaining to her that she's going to have a baby brother or sister.

I observe every face in the room as they read the sign for themselves.

Stay tuned for baby #2!

The room erupts in congratulations and smiles, hugs and kisses are exchanged, but my heart bursts wide open when Eliza tugs my pant leg and asks, "Where's the baby, Mommy?"

I can't help it, a tear escapes my eye. I wipe it away, blaming it on the hormones, as Edward proceeds to boot people from the house, claiming 'It's time to celebrate with my wife so unless you want to watch you should leave'. A deep blush colors my cheeks, but I just slap him playfully on the shoulder as Dad rolls his eyes and shivers.

"Sorry, Dad," I say with a shrug, giving him a quick hug before he rushes out, followed by a laughing Mom, Esme, and Carlisle. Alice calls out a disgusted 'Ew!' before Jasper whisks her away, and Emmett just stands there as if he's ready to stick around for the show. Rosalie shakes her head and grabs him by the arm, pulling him towards the door.

Just like that, the house is clear and 30 minutes later, after a bed time story and lots of cuddling, Eliza is finally asleep in her new big girl bed and Mommy is being carried to bed by a very happy Daddy.

With the door safely locked behind us, he places me onto our bed (I burned his old one), and the world disappears, the Edward fog rolls in, blocking out every sound, every image, except his groaning hot breath hitting my neck.

"Taste me, Edward," I whisper, letting the fiery burn take me and he rushes to comply, removing my clothes as he somehow manages to strip himself. I will never get used to this, the inferno at his touch, the way my skin melts under his hand. He cups one of my tits in his hand and I let out a gasp as his lips curl up against the skin at my collar, his head slowly trailing down to meet his hand, his mouth circling around my straining nipple.

"Fuck," I whimper, my hands finding his hair, tugging the bronze mess in a surge of wanton pleasure. Working on their own accord, they pull him lower, closer to the spot that wants him most and Edward smirks.

"You made a delicious dinner, love, but I have to admit, I've been dying for dessert,"

I gaze at his face in a lustful haze as his tongue stretches out to meet my puffed-up, aching clit and the contact is enough to make me squeal a bit too loud, but Edward has a solution, he always has a solution. He stops and I wriggle on the bed, my fists clenching the sheets in a death grip. He reaches for my discarded panties and balls them in his hand.

"Open," he commands, running his thumb along my bottom lip. I comply and find the cotton against my tongue, the taste of what the thought of him has done to me for hours filling my mouth.

My body quakes and he runs his tongue along my slit once, slightly calming the tremors that rock my body. I notice then how hard he is, how his cock is straining for attention, seeping pre-cum that makes my mouth salivate. The sight of it rocks my hips upward, pressing my hot pussy into his face, and Edward groans into me, suckling my clit into his mouth and gripping his hands around my thighs. He presses me hard into the bed and my hands grip the mattress, my eyes roll back into my head. I breath in the heavy scent of my arousal that fills the air as his tongue twirls around my cunt, his lips sucking and licking, teasing and driving me to the brink of insanity. My chest rises and falls rapidly, my lungs threatening to explode when he pauses between licks.

"I love how you taste," he moans, lick, "like fucking sex and strawberry. A delicious dessert that's all mine."

My muffled cry through the cotton brings out his desperation and the dirty mouth that I crave.

"Cum on my fucking face, Bella," he commands, lick, "coat my tongue with it, make me drown in it."

My body twists, my insides curl as he sucks my swollen clit, and with a growl into my skin he sends me tumbling over the edge. I cum hard and as my body shakes he licks me cleans, building up my need for him all over again. But my need for his cock is overcoming my need for his mouth.

I pull the panties from my mouth and in a flash I've forced him onto his back. I scramble for the remote on the night stand and the television blares to life, the volume loud enough to drawn out any noises, and I plan on there being a lot of them. I toss the remote into oblivion, and latch my hands around his, gripping them tightly as I slowly impale myself on him with a humming of pleasure.

"I fucking love how you fill me," I moan, squeezing his hands tighter and pressing them into the pillow at the sides of his head.

Edward's jaw clenches tight, his head falling back in a battle of pleasure versus agony.

"Tell me what you want, my Edward," I say, stilling my pussy around his throbbing dick.

He grins at me, his cock twitching inside me.

"Ride my cock, dirty girl, ride it until you make me cum,"

I start to move at a slow pace, up and down, feeling him fill me with each thrust as he breathes in gasping breaths.

"Does that feel good? Because it makes my cunt so wet, can you feel it?"

He strains to lift his hips and I keep the same, torturous pace.

"Faster, Bella, please, fuck,"

"Well, since you said please,"

Increasing my speed, I pump him just a bit faster, burying his cock as far as it will go while deep moans escape my lips.

"Oh, Edward, god…is that what you wanted, is that how you like it?"

His hands squeeze mine, his hips thrusting to meet my own as he grunts in approval.

"Yes, yes, that's a good girl, make me cum, make me cum with your hot, wet cunt."

I watch every muscle in his body tense when I increase my speed, the skin of our hips slapping together with every movement.

"Fill me, damn it, fill me until it seeps out onto my thighs. I want you to cover me in cum,"

I release his hands and Edward flips me like a maniac beast his hands roaming every inch of me, gripping squeezing, as he plows into me,

"You want me to cum on you, is that what you want you dirty little whore?"

"Yes! Yes, please! Cover my tits in cum,'

I feel my pussy clench around him, my walls milking him for release as I cum for a second time.

"Here it comes, love," he growls, pulling out his cock as it bulges in anticipation. I reach to cup his balls, relishing the feeling of them rolling them in my hand as he mounts my waist, his dick inches from my face as he strokes the head, sweat drops forming on his face as he pulls my tits together with his free hand. He slides his cock between them, once, twice.

"Fuck…" he hisses as his cum spurts out, covering my tits, marking me as his. It's only after he's kissed me furiously, and allowed our bodies to relax that I realize that I'm sweaty, tired, satisfied, deeply loved, but _covered_ in cum.

"Ugh! I'm a hot mess!" I holler with laughter. Edward nods in agreement and his lips pull up in a smirk.

"Yeah, you are, but you're my hot mess."

**So, that's all she wrote, folks. And by she I mean me. This won't be the last time you hear from me. I may write some one shots here and there, but from this point forward, I'm going to focus on other things like my novel, and my sanity...lol Anyway, I love you guys, and every time I get a new favorite add, review, or story alert, I will happily think of each and every one of you. Here's hoping you all will continue to come back, even when I can't promise more than a one shot every once and a while. Thanks for reading, reviewing, and overall, just being awesome! Pbroken**


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